Yes you are a complete failure if you don't get laid.
Party to have fun. I partied a lot in college, I almost never got laid unless I already had a girlfriend at the time. I also didn't have much game in college, but that's another story.
Don't put so much pressure on yourself. If you stop over-thinking things, and start trying to have fun, joke around, flirt etc, then you'll be the life of the party, and possibly get laid. But don't TRY to be the life of the party either.
I have two friends who are also colleagues. One has only been djing for a few months, the other for a few years. I got a chance to hear the one with little experience work a crowd the other night, and I could tell he was trying WAY too hard. He was lucky it was a bar full of drunk girls who were just looking for an excuse to grind on somebody. Contrast that to my other friend who really doesn't give a shit. The same bar would have been putty in his hands.
The same works for partying. Don't give a shit, just have fun. The night could lead to just about anything... I mean anything... That's what's so fun about partying.