^
I am normally against gaming girls with boyfriends, but it is possible to see it from an other perspective.

Years ago, in the time of MM and Style, general believe was, it does not matter how difficult she is or how well her relationship is, if your game is good enough, you can get ANYONE.

Gurus come and co, and we got more realism and insight in women and picking them up. We now know that there are external factors (why she doesn't want to hang out with you), which you can't do much about then moving on.

One of these external factors is her having a boyfriend. It will give you a though time, and you don't want to ruin everything, so that's cool. You don't want your girl to be cheating on you, do you?

BUT, wheter we like it or not, it still needs two to tango. So you can still like her and want to game the girl with a boyfriend, she still needs to be ok with it.

So if she values her boyfriend enough, then she mostly won't cheat on you, so what does it then matter if you try to game her? She will turn you down. It's only wasted energy. But what if she only have a boyfriend she uses as a toy, or because her friends all got one, or because she is just lonely? What if she doesn't value her boyfriend enough? "No no I don't want to ruin the relationship". That's ok, I understand. I'm a good guy myself. But you turn her down and move on to the next, she will just be cheating with the next attractive guy she meets. It's not (entirely) our fault whens she cheates, it's her making the decision in the end.


So, my question to you is: if you meet a cute girl, you guys get along, she gives these signs that she likes you, you guys are all flirty and stuff, you just know it's gonna work, you invite her on a date (watching a movie at your place) and she agrees. One day before the date, you hear from some trustable friends that she has (officialy) a boyfriend, but that little is known about him, what would you do? Call her up, asking her if it's true if she has a boyfriend and then say goodbey?

I would let her come over, and do my thing as long as she doesn't mention the boyfriend, and see how far we go.
That's why I agree with om3n

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You WANT to make a change.
You CAN make a change.
You WILL make a change.

Ambitious to be succesfull => Shyler

Let's say that is true, why do you want to be the one that is 50% of the problem. If all the guys just get it through there head that there are seriously millions of single women we won't have these problems. Why be part of the problem when you can be part of the solution. That's a weak arse argument.

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La Dolce Vita.

Okay, true, you're right. I didn't mean tha I would game her, but that it actualy won't make sense anyway. But my point wasn't actualy about that. If I meet a girl, she tells that she has a boyfriend, I truely respect that. And I think actualy everyone should.

But what would you do in this more complex case? I still keep to my words:

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You WANT to make a change.
You CAN make a change.
You WILL make a change.

Ambitious to be succesfull => Shyler

I would do the same but I would find out more about the bf (not with a direct question of course). If I found out she really values him a lot (not likely, why would she visit me then) I would keep my attitude but I wouldn't escalate and that would probably be my last invitation until things change.

to me it just seems a waste of time .. why in earth find out how she thinks about her BF ? it sounds too counterproductive...

aside from that..

the whole dating a girl who has a BF sounds like a waste of time to me... woman in general are emotional .. at least way mroe than men. Why in earth would you believe what someone says ?

instead just do not waste time and go out sarging

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AK-47...When you absolutely positively have to kill every fucking orc in the room
questions about herbal medicine here-vp582526.html#582526

As long as there's no such thing as a "relationship contract" or anything at all really that solidifies the whole boyfriend-thing in a societal context, there is no such thing as "I have a boyfriend". It's just some made up words to describe a situation which can mean thousands of different things ranging from "I am deeply in love" to "I don't really like you, go away.".

In my book you're either married or you're single (or, and this is the very very weakest form that I'm willing to consider at all, you're living together with someone without being married). So yes obviously I have different standards for single and married people.

So from the ethics pov I don't see any problem whatsoever. From the efficiency pov like lodewijk says it's a different matter.

You all raised some good points... But say you and a girl really click... You guys get a long great, the chemistry is great and you guys hit it off from the beginning.

She has a boyfriend, she tells you that she likes you, I tell her I like her, their relationship is shit...

One thing leads to another, we hook up, for a week. One drunken night, we have sex, and feels terrible, she feels guilty (even though kissing me she didnt feel any guilt) and now we dont talk, in fact its awkward.

And the part of me that remembers how good we were is killing me because i havent met a girl like that before.

YES, I am talking from personal experience and this is my situation right now...

Thoughts?

I've got a whole thread on a pretty similar situation in this forum section. Check it out.

Boyfriend destroyers are only cool when they're not being used against you.
I've been on the receiving end of many attempts to destroy me as of late

My record is currently 195-0 vs boyfriend destroyers

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Friendzone 1-vt51424.html?postdays=0&postorder=asc&start=0

Well I can't and won't help you now. But if you'd just not allowed yourself to click with a girl who had a boyfriend you never would have ended up in this situation.

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La Dolce Vita.

never confused "AFC" with "PUNK".

there are millions of AFC's out there, that you wouldn't want to run into in a dark alley.

just remember that.

here is a simple algebraic equation to put it into perspective:

AFC = pussy with girls
PUNK = pussy with guys
AFC does not equal PUNK

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what dr. house brings to medicine, i bring to everyday life (an extreme dose of cynicism), don't listen to the curmudgeon!

Totally agree with Lodewijkp. If these guys are such good PUA's, they should have plenty of options to choose from and shouldn't need to resort to hitting on women who already have boyfriends, thus encouraging female behavior as scummy as the douche bags themselves.

May all boyfriend destroyers' future girlfriends fuck a camel with herpes, and then come back to sleep with them in the same night. Amen