Community Bullshit #1: Affirmations



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PostPosted: Sat Nov 05, 2011 4:08 am 
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"I am becoming more and more confident every day"

is a worthless affirmation for several reasons

I would agree that one wouldn't work for anyone. We can argue all day on how well affirmations work from a subjective standpoint but a good affirmation can be effective so we should just be arguing over the degree of its effectiveness VS. other methods and time yield.


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PostPosted: Sat Nov 05, 2011 5:05 am 
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Actually affirmations come from religion and majik originally...like buddhism..
a lot of peeps dont understand what really goes on and will automatically think they are the bullshit stuff that hippy type people who play with cristals do.
they aint
its all to do with self hypnosis
if you tell yourself something repeatedly it sinks into ur subconsious mind and eventually it gets accepted as real.
buddha said..u are what u believe u are.
get it now
think how many times you have been made to feel like a piece of shit maybe by your peer group...maybe by your parents even...
you wind up accepting it as the truth and it fucks your life up
this negative reinforcement is no different to affirmations...the words sink into the subconsious and u believe it eventually.


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PostPosted: Sat Nov 05, 2011 5:29 am 
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Another study done by psychologist: http://www.psychologytoday.com/articles ... you-say-so

Basically to sum it up, that whole study concludes that people with low self esteem, when they try to say positive things about themselves, their inner voice pipes up and says negative things.

This all goes back to what I said in my other post.

Affirmations don't work for low self esteem people because they simply don't believe what their telling themselves.

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PostPosted: Sat Nov 05, 2011 7:01 am 
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Wait, so does that mean affirmations are just like placebos?


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PostPosted: Sat Nov 05, 2011 7:17 am 
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Some studies say they work and some studies say they don't work. My experience, I have used them before meeting, dates, interviews and they have calmed me down and gave me a clear head. Overall I'd say they work for me! That's all that matters.

Anyways my main concern here is why the fuck Khuram keeps popping up every other day under some new user name lol. Persistant little bugger!

BTW
Quote:
buys fantastic dress and then the next day dressed in that new cool dress he again repeats,"i am becoming more and more attractive" and his mind believes it even more
I'm sure it's some sort of lingo where you are from, but in North America women wear dresses!


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PostPosted: Sat Nov 05, 2011 7:35 am 
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I see what you mean but I disagree.

This is a typical post from someone who has grasped a lot of of PUA theory and gotten good at it. But failed to understand that different people have different problems. I am sure you mean well but please stop rain shit down on stuff that can actually help the guys who are already ankle deep in shit.

Affirmations are not there to build up new lies about yourself even though they are often used in that way. Affirmations are there to pick you up from that rock bottom you find yourself at when your life sucks worse than a cheerleader on prom night. When you think that you are freaking worthless... That is when affirmations can help you, not help you become an excellent PUA but help you up to the point where you can dare do all those other things you suggest. Because, face it, it is easy to say hit the gym and get new clothes and go to a club. Yes, for most of us it is easy, but not for everyone. For some people it is taking matters into your own hands and if you fail it will be your own fault, you cannot blame anyone else. And many people dont dare face that responsibility. So they need to build up enough confidence to do just that, which is where the affirmations come in. It is like prozac or something. Not fixing the problem but helping you take action.

The real solutions come later when someone is strong enough to want to truly change. You cannot help anyone who isnt ready to take some pain in order to change his destiny. He just isnt ready for it yet.

Once you get past that part and realize that you actually have some kind of value, you can drop those affirmations and do stuff for real.
Ezo, thank you.

I am one of those guys who started like ron, worked out, all the shit. but i found out recently i have Dysthymia which is a chronic type of depression in which a person's moods are regularly low. However, symptoms are not as severe as with major depression. So i still have the normal ups and downs but it is almost always down. Even though i am takin meds for this, and the fact that i got my first fclose in over 4months today, i realize affirmations help me get through each and everyday.

i know i have value and everything, yet my biology tells me otherwise. The meds help, yet it is all in the attitude. affirmations hype you up and get you to a level where you can feel good. i do this everyday before i brush my teeth and go to class, otherwise i will not even go sometimes. Thus, it doesnt fix the problem, it merely helps me take action and be normal. Once i get to that level, i can game the shit out of girls, like today. but if i dont get up, i will be down and have epic fails.
Quote:
1) Affirmations give a temporary boost in confidence to people who already have a high amount of self esteem.

2) For people with average or low self esteem, affirmations actually made them feel unconfident and in some cases even depressed.
Everyone will have a roller coaster ride, some worse than others. im trying my best and PUA community is helping. Many people with low self esteem have a similar problem to myself, depression or what not. I am lucky that i know i have value but i cant seem to stay on that level. i and others have to use affirmations to help get up, and the down from it is not nearly as bad. 2 up, 1 down so to speak.

i say "i think i can, i think i can" or whatever bullshit needed to get through my day. MY vices are affirmations, others have alcohol, etc.

until the day i can fix my problem, i will continue my pattern and be a work in progress just like everyone else who is imperfect which i think IS everyone.

going out and and meeting women will help, but for some, finding the root of the problem is crucial. Once solved, It is where your ultimate success will come from. Many people with problems havent found it yet, Ive found mine and im fighting my battle one day at a time.




Still trying to slay my dragon

- J Slay -


PS - affirmations are mental anti-depressant placebos

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PostPosted: Sat Nov 05, 2011 12:24 pm 
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Affirmations aren't ENTIRELY useless.

I've had more decent conversations with myself than with some stupid girls...

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PostPosted: Sat Nov 05, 2011 2:00 pm 
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There is a huge difference between a true affirmation eg. "I'm a good guy with a good job" vs "I'm fucking amazing and any woman would be glad to be with me."
If it's true it's way easier and more effective. You're really just reminding yourself of what you know, the other is attempting to lie to yourself/

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PostPosted: Sat Nov 05, 2011 5:22 pm 
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I agree with Stand Up. Saying that "I'm a hot guy and everyone knows it", that is not particulary an affirmation but more of a lie.

However, if you're an insecure guy or whatever, saying to yourself that "you're a respectable person with your own wants, needs and opinion", it might help you to stand stronger in your shoes next time someone puts shit on you or tells you what to do.

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You CAN make a change.
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