So basically I met this wild girl back in February at university and we got off to a flying start, I was flirting with her all night and we had a really good laugh. She is very wild, doesn't like being told what to do, a HB10, and can go off the rails on a night out, very flirty nature (like me). At this time it may be good to note she had a boyfriend.

So went to a few more nights/days out with her friends/my friends and we got talking outside of it. Flirting as usual and I was teasing her etc. Just before Easter she broke up with her boyfriend and I ended up getting with her about a week afterwards on a night out. We only kissed and it was cool.

I ended up staying at hers a few times and she was constantly being put in the friends zone. Back then I had minimal game and just went with it. We had a massive argument and didn't speak over the Easter Break.

She ended up going back out with her boyfriend who she has since admitted she had feelings for back then and that's why nothing happened between us.

Anyway we stayed very close, always a flirting touching teasing relationship, people even commented on how flirty we were.

It came to the end of the year and there were some big celebrations happening at uni, her boyfriend wasn't around and she ended up at mine and we had sex. The next day she instantly regretted it, and as I had developed feelings for this girl, so did I, didn't want our first sexual encounter to be a regretful one. Her boyfriend never found out.

So over the summer we were texting/ringing a lot, he family were concerned as she spoke/flirted with me more than her boyfriend. This lead to an argument between which i swiftly resolved. Our group of friends then had a party and we attended, nothing had change, we were so flirty and I even managed a sly kiss which she liked, but also felt guilty.

After this i decided to step the texting up and she sent me pictures/videos of herself, she was also saying things about us being in a relationship and I was cool with it etc.

She ended up coming to stay at mine over the summer for a few days, which her boyfriend wasn't keen on and we did everything but. Which was frustrating.

Now by this point, I realised I absolutely adore this girl, she met my parents, everything would be amazing and I can genuinely see myself being happy with her.

Come the start of uni again she broke up with her boyfriend, but she developed this weird friend zone, which IMO came out of no-where, she said it felt too weird. We then ended up sleeping together and it was cool, but again next time I saw her another friend zone. This happened a second time and I was so frustrated with her.

She had to have an operation and I went to see her every day whilst she was inside, I cleaned her room, got her flowers, made a handmade card with some Negs and stuff.

AT THIS POINT I GOT INTO PUA.

She went home for two weeks to recover and I decided I'd keep texting to a minimal, only texting when she did, varying my texts back. So she came back for Halloween and by this point one of our close friends was sick and tired of us being on and off and said something to her drunk, we ended up going out...for four days...and she then friend zones me again.
her reasons are endless but in a nutshell:

-too weird
-feels trapped (never really been single)
-scared of losing me(she wont take the leap of faith)
-Confusing friendship with something else
etc. etc.

I told her I'm not very happy and I'll speak to her when I'm ready. She also said not yet, and maybe it's not the right time. etc. etc.

I then finds out the day she breaks up with me she goes off, gets crazy drunk and sleeps with this fat guy, who for all purposes is a massive douche! Makes me want to RAGE QUIT!

Now I'm stuck, got all these feeling for her, and I don't know how to go fourth.

Should I break contact for a while? Should I re-initiate the argument we had about her breaking up with me and not giving our relationship and chance? Should i try and make her jealous?

General understanding from various sources is don't talk to her for a while, but most importantly for me is what should I do after? How long should I give it?

I really like this girl and she herself has said everything else is perfect it's just something thats stopping her, something in the back of her head. She is confusing friendship with something else etc.

Yeah so there we have it, my situation, my reason for joining this forum. Please help!

_________________
- PUA Student

The Friend Zone sucks!

I cant fucking believe i read all that bullshit just now..but i have fucking flu at the moment.
Your girl...is fucked up...ive met many like her..party girls...who fuck around...
and you are a fooooooooooooool
you say you want to be a PUA...well the idea is to fuck a lot of girls not to be fucked by one girl
Get it
this is why im into picking up women...ive been in "love" with bitches like you just described and it is gut wrenching the shit they pull...
also i have little respect for guys who worm their way into the pants of other guys chicks then cry when she does it to you and fucks some fat guy hahaha..sorry but its a slap in the face that should wake u the fuck up..
she is a messed up party girl..who sounds bipolar.
your greatest wish is to be her man...it will wind up your worst nightmare.
been there done that.
Anyhow i dont see the big deal...you fucked her didnt you...
mission accomplished in my book.
next

Ps your first paragraph describing her
"She is very wild, doesn't like being told what to do, a HB10, and can go off the rails on a night out, very flirty nature"
...actually describes either bipolar disorder or borderline personality disorder..sound like borderline personality most though and i fell for a girl who was scouted repeatedly by model scouts who had that, went undiagnosed for years and i almost had a fucking breakdown dealing with her...we broke up and she then got diagnosed..tried to kill herself in the most fucked up way...like i said ive fallen for both types and the more fucking beautiful the girl is the more common these mental illnesses seem to be. Im giving you a waring here man but read your own discription again.

This girl your "in love" with will have been abused as a kid...everything u describe her as tells me this shit...not every abuse victim ends up fucked up but lots do..unfortunatley...its sad as fuck...but there are too many women like this these days...and they will destroy your life if you try to fix them.

Reading your post has really put it into context for me, the weird thing is my friend just had a go at me, slapping me in the face with some reality.

And wow, yeah bi-polar, she actually has had that before, but I completely forgot her telling me about it...probably tried to subdue it in the back of my mind and shove all these feelings infront of it.

I don't think I can stop caring about her, because we do share a strong connection. But I needed that harsh bit of truth. Pieced together with what my friend said to me earlier, I've woken up and smelt the air. And it's putrid.

Time to move on, time to learn from my experiences and time to make myself proud for once, instead of doubting my actions and changing them!

Who knew joining a forum would have this much affect on me?!

_________________
- PUA Student

The Friend Zone sucks!

1. Bi Polar is not something you have once and then it goes away (like the clap). It is a SERIOUS medical condition/ chemical imbalance in the brain. Kurt Cobain had it and took a shotgun to his dome. The only SPAM is serious medication.


2. That is straight AFC material. THINK about it REALLY HARD!!! How much shit about the ex did she tell you that is your exact situation right now. She is running the game and you're a pawn if you think like that. You CAN'T save her because she doesn't want to be saved. She want's to repeat her traumas and will continue until SHE decides to actively pursue help for whatever medical conditions and abuse (which most likely there is) she has.

A Hindu Saint once said that our personal reality consists of 20% fact and the other 80% is our own imagination. How much compassion and willingness to change her ways has she actually shown you and how much have you forced your ideal image on her and justified/ rationalized her actual actions to fit this image?

_________________
I finally chose the red pill

1. I'm quite familiar with it, I have family members on constant medication for it...makes me wonder if this girl has stopped taking her medication!

2. She's demonstrated minimal compassion and minimal willingness to change
What do you mean by this? How much have I changed to be her ideal partner or how much have I attempted to change her into mine?

_________________
- PUA Student

The Friend Zone sucks!

bro, game other girls. it's always good to have options. she might be a hb10 but how many hb10's do you see often in a pubilc gathering? Having abundance will really help you out. She may get jealous and jealousy is a very powerful emotion ! If you really like this chick then sexually esculate next time your with her alone. i have to question her morals though ? is she worth it, thats what you got to really ask your self ? good luck dude !

It means the idea that you have this deep meaningful connection with this girl is something that you have imagined. You've created this idea in your head about an sexy, exciting, misunderstood girl that just needs you to save her and then you can be happy together. That girl, the one that can give you REAL happiness, does not exist (at least not in her).

The truth is she is in her own world using sex as a weapon against herself. She fucked her ex over, She fucked you over, She'll fuck the fat guy over, and so on.
In fact (not trying to be harsh and I've dealt w/ the craziest of the crazy) but she never had those feelings for you. She was simply using you too feed her addiction.

There are ton's of girls like this. That's a good reason to get in the game. To help realize your own self worth and to know that when crazy girls are CRAZY it has nothing to do w/ you. You stay emotionally detached from these girls, have fun, and wait for one that has her shit together, if thats what you're looking for.

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I finally chose the red pill

@PUA student
Follow this mental exercise. You think a skateboard is cool. So you now think all skateboards are cool, and you let your mind become clouded by the original thought of the skateboard. When an uncool skateboard comes along you still think it's cool. You no longer allow yourself to view the skateboard for what the skateboard actually is because of your preconcieved thoughts. Get it. Okay now replace "skateboard" with "she/her" and "cool" with "perfect/acceptable behavior". This is also why first impressions are so important.

It should be very easy to understand by now. He wants you to really consider how you are thinking about the situation and what has really gone on between you two. The mind has filters that make it difficult for us to view a situation accurately and with all the information.

@Strido
Don't want to ride your thunder or anything, I just think you could use a break explaining this concept to this kid. Sounds like you are a little annoyed in your response so I wanted to help out before you blow up at the kid.

Edit:Made this response close to the same time as you, you no longer sound angry, I still think my input is valuable.

@tippicanoe

lol thanks bro. Not really annoyed, just making sure point gets across. Apologize if I was too harsh. He's probably catching a little extra heat cause one of my boys went through same shit, and he clung on to this chick off and on for 2 years while she ran wild.

_________________
I finally chose the red pill

Yeah another poster already said it...but you dont recover from bipolar disorder...you have it and your stuck with it...for life..
supposedly meds can help keep it in check but ive known girls who were medicated up to the eyballs and were still behaving like train wrecks.
Ive got to many fucked up stories about shit like that which would fill a fucking bestselling book.
What these women do is they are able to suck you in...like no other woman can...part of it is the beauty and the sex and part of it is the push and pull technique that fucking comes naturally to these BP woman...see the shit PUA's get taught how to do...the art of manipulation and messing with peoples emotions.
Well bi polar women have it down to a fucking T,
they rip your mind out and burn your soullll....

by the way i was serious about the zen buddhism...
saved me from losing it

@PUAStudent

You didn't off yourself after reading all this, did you, homie?

_________________
I finally chose the red pill

It's just a lot to take in, and to realise.

I really need this though, a kick in the rear to get me back on track.

I have decided to stop texting her for the time being. Been gaming this other girl who I k-closed a few months back but she's just gotten into a relationship.

So looks like I need to get out there and start a new. She really did have this hold over me, every time she texts me I have this urge to text her back loads of things, but kept it blunt. I actually told her I'm out the country for the weekend and just turned my phone off, bitch needs to know I don't need her...more precisly I need to know I don't need her...or get used to it anyway.

Next plan of action, get a haircut, continue fitness training, get back on top of my studies and try and open and escalate with some NEW woman.

Any links for getting me back on track or any advice would be welcomed.

_________________
- PUA Student

The Friend Zone sucks!

Sounds like you have the right idea w/ hair, gym, studies, and girls. Try the newbie exercise in the introduction section and just go game this weekend. Have fun, no pressure! There's always another girl and any girl is better than this one.

I'd also say freeze her out completely or at least for a few weeks. Wait until you closed and day 2'd a few other girls. She'll probably light up your phone but just ignore it. Again, if you respond she's in control.

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I finally chose the red pill

It's been 3 days since I last spoke to her, going well although I kept getting the urge to text her. She hasn't text me at all, but posted a load of crap on her Facebook and it turns out she was still getting over her ex etc.

Basically I was being used as an emotional leaning post...plus she's crazy! haha

Turned it into a bit of a game with one of my study partners, hinting that I need motivation and something to work towards to get my mind off, she got my drift and she wrote me a funny note saying if I manage not to contact her by Tuesday she'll sleep with me (we've been close before but she's in a relationship, and I've always been hung up over this girl), funnily enough she has an ultimatum with her boyfriend by Monday...and they will split. The letter is actually hilarious, we've always had banter and been overly flirty with each other. K closed before but never got further...see how Tuesday goes.

Not sure if I should keep it on my terms, feels a bit weird etc. what you guys think...we both know we'll sleep with each other soon, just a matter of under what circumstances, she is coming over Thursday as well to get drunk and get up to crazy shit, last time it happened I K closed her. This time who knows....

_________________
- PUA Student

The Friend Zone sucks!

UPDATE:

The friend zone girl I had froze out said hey on facebook, I decided to be pleasant but use the Question Statement method of conversation over text/facebook...worked really well, I didn't come off needy and she kept asking how id been and writing hugeee things when i would hardly reply.

Not sure where to take this...she has hot friends...for now I'm going to be pleasant!

_________________
- PUA Student

The Friend Zone sucks!