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PostPosted: Mon Oct 31, 2011 11:27 am 
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I guess my main questions are:
1) how many texts before I should go for day 2?
2) how do I escalate over text? I don't want to beat about the bush and get friendzoned
3) semi-serious: how do I brush the present routine under the carpet? just say my friend changed his mind or something? lol this is the downside of these canned routines I guess, coz obviously it was bullshit and now I have to cover it up

EDIT: ok so I didn't want to let it get stale. I followed up with:

(Sun, 4pm) ME: Ha no i was just testing if you were secretly a nerd ;) you passed the first test! Hey 2014 is too far, you said you were adventurous right? Im planning a bank robbery this week, and i need a really hot getaway driver! Then we escape to Bolivia with the money. You in?

OK, this one is canned of-course, but I doubt she's heard it. It was the only way I could think of to throw in an attraction message ("really hot getaway driver") while still playing along to one of our themes. Yet to hear back.

Overall if you could give me some general critique of this brief exchange I would greatly appreciate it!

Cheers guys,
Well, here's my general analysis of the conversation:

It's light and fun so far. And from reading the messages going back and forth between you both, I am inclined to think that you both have met quite recently and there's still a lot to know about each other. It's a start, of something. What it could lead to depends on how you play your cards.

Now, to the questions.. and their answers..

1 - I don't see a fixed minimum number of texts before you are asking her out, but unless there's atleast a basic comfort level established between you two, it will only lead to her flaking on you or an outright refusal. So, get enough texts in, so that she's comfortable with the idea of you both hanging out.

2 - Texts are not for escalation simply because you cannot escalate when you are not with her. Escalation is something which is best done in person. Use texting to build comfort and attraction.

3 - There's a very favourite saying on mine.

"If you don't like what's being said, change the conversation."

Think about it. It's your way out from every dead end and every pause in the conversation, with women as in life.

Good luck. And thanks for thinking of me.

_________________
" You're born alone and you die alone and this world just drops a bunch of rules on top of you to make you forget those facts. But I never forget. I'm living like there's no tomorrow, because there isn't one. "


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Mon Oct 31, 2011 5:45 pm 
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You see the highlights. :wink:

And let that sink in.

It mostly breaks down to you and her alternating between "Ho!" and "No Ho!". I mean, make up your minds, you said she wasn't like the "whores",then she said she hoped you maintain that stance till she uploads her pictures (i.e. No whore) then you said that she must've show a lot of cleavage (i.e. whore), then she said not that much (i.e. no whore) blah blah blah

Again, that's the first conflict.

The second was the line in italics. Let me give you a tip about being a man: A man is respectful, reserved and serious in his conversation. When a man is joking, he does that in a very classy way.

A boy calls women "whores" and he tells a girl that he's sure she "hooked up with a stranger last night".

I am not judging you, but there's a fine line between how men tease a woman, and how boys do.

Trying to shift your frame from "man-boy" to "man" will immediately induced a reaction of "hahahahahhaha" and she did that on cue.

Look, if you are maintaining a frame be it man, boy or something in between, stick to it. Incongruency is the death of many successful pick up attempts.

Good luck to you. :)
what could i have replied to her picky boys comment [/quote]


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Tue Nov 01, 2011 3:48 pm 
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Wsup Don!!


I dunno if you remember my story from before, about the girl that I kinda like who's given me plenty of IOIs in the past... but I'm probably in the friend zone regardless. I don't want to give up tho, I feel like I can still make things happen with her, regardless of just being friends right now. There's still some attraction between us, but she's also a huge tease so I dunno.

Anyway I travel out of town every week, and she's been pretty busy too, so I don't see her during the weeks and haven't seen her for a week or two.

How often should I text her? Is it better to keep in touch often when im gone, or should I not text her to make her miss me? I kinda wana text her today or tomorrow tho cuz it's been a while (and frankly i miss her)... any ideas on a flirty/playful/funny text? THINK BRO! :P

_________________
Some people are like slinkys, not really good for anything but make you smile when you push them down the stairs.


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Tue Nov 01, 2011 8:46 pm 
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Appreciate the advice man! I just have one more question.

Where should I go from here? Should I wait it out til she texts me? She's in one of my classes, however I normally sit with my other friends (sat with her 3-5 times).
Well, you don't have to totally give her the cold shoulder, as to say.

Be polite to her, but a bit more formal. She will be confused by your sudden keeping a distance between you two and you can work that to your advantage.

At the same time, whenever you are with her, start making her feel a bit more comfortable with you. Less teasing, more comfort building for now.

Good luck.
Hey don, last question i swear! haha

I took your advice and just tried to get some more rapport and familiarity with her. I texted her "hey how was your weekend?" (it was halloween and homecoming here so it was crazy to say the least).
Its been almost two days and no response. This has never happened before with her, usually she responds within the hour. I noticed on her facebook it looks like she's back together with her bf of like 3-5months. I guess that could be why no response? I'm just gonna assume she lost her phone over the weekend, haha.

I GREATLY appreciate all your help man!


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Wed Nov 02, 2011 8:05 am 
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what could i have replied to her picky boys comment
Well, give her the opposite of what she's expecting.

She's basically wanting to draw you in an argument which she can control on her terms, and she's basically hoping that you will feel conflicted by the line, take it personally and justify yourself to her.

Well, next time, just say "If you say so. :wink:", one thing that she's not hoping to get is you validating her words. The smirk at the end proves that you're not serious, but are humoring her. Be the man in the conversation.

That's how you pass these so-called "shit tests".

Good luck.

_________________
" You're born alone and you die alone and this world just drops a bunch of rules on top of you to make you forget those facts. But I never forget. I'm living like there's no tomorrow, because there isn't one. "


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Wed Nov 02, 2011 8:13 am 
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Wsup Don!!


I dunno if you remember my story from before, about the girl that I kinda like who's given me plenty of IOIs in the past... but I'm probably in the friend zone regardless. I don't want to give up tho, I feel like I can still make things happen with her, regardless of just being friends right now. There's still some attraction between us, but she's also a huge tease so I dunno.

Anyway I travel out of town every week, and she's been pretty busy too, so I don't see her during the weeks and haven't seen her for a week or two.

How often should I text her? Is it better to keep in touch often when im gone, or should I not text her to make her miss me? I kinda wana text her today or tomorrow tho cuz it's been a while (and frankly i miss her)... any ideas on a flirty/playful/funny text? THINK BRO! :P

Hello, coolbrownie69.

I am good. What about yourself? :)

Anyway, now to this situation on yours..

Look, I know the whole "Let's Just Be Friends" speech is a downer. But, the truth is that once a girl has decided that you really, really have to go through hell to change that position of you in her mind. Why don't you want to spend that time and effort on some girl who'd be better suited to return your affections and who does not have a situation with her boyfriend.

You are young. And she is not the girl you are going to settle down with. Especially if everything in this relationship is going to be on her terms. You don't even know if she's the best you'll ever meet. Once you stop your fixation on her , your eyes will be cursed with a better woman every day.

Remember, there's no harm in keeping her as a friend and using her for social benefit. But, there's not point in trying to evoke feelings in her about something which she does not feel about.

I hope you'll take my advice for what it is. It's an encouragement, not a deterrent.

Good luck. And thanks for thinking of me.

_________________
" You're born alone and you die alone and this world just drops a bunch of rules on top of you to make you forget those facts. But I never forget. I'm living like there's no tomorrow, because there isn't one. "


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Wed Nov 02, 2011 8:18 am 
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Hey don, last question i swear! haha

I took your advice and just tried to get some more rapport and familiarity with her. I texted her "hey how was your weekend?" (it was halloween and homecoming here so it was crazy to say the least).
Its been almost two days and no response. This has never happened before with her, usually she responds within the hour. I noticed on her facebook it looks like she's back together with her bf of like 3-5months. I guess that could be why no response? I'm just gonna assume she lost her phone over the weekend, haha.

I GREATLY appreciate all your help man!
Hello, goldenghetto.

And like I've always said, I have no issues with you asking me as many doubts as you want. So, fire away. :)

Well, here's what it could be..

A - It could be that your text was something very generic and she must not have been in the mood to reply to it. If you had framed it as "Hey there. You won't believe what happened to me this weekend! Any crazy stories this weekend from your side?", you might have got a better shot at getting a reply out of her.

B - It could be that she's back with her old boyfriend, and she wants to focus on him and the re-discovery of their relationship. So, she might not reply to you as much as she did previously.

C - It could be both the above reasons.

D - It could be that "she lost her phone". :wink:

I've ranked them in the order of probability, starting from 'most probable'. Cheers!

Good luck at you. And thanks for thinking of me.

_________________
" You're born alone and you die alone and this world just drops a bunch of rules on top of you to make you forget those facts. But I never forget. I'm living like there's no tomorrow, because there isn't one. "


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PostPosted: Wed Nov 02, 2011 10:13 am 
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Mid-Game - Summary
I met her on Friday - downtown (11pm) We picked it up then I got her email address. So i'll skip all the beginning stuff and get right down to the meat. Please give feedback, Thanks!

...skipped the intro...
Me: I get it, you've grown tired of my pick up lines. I guys gotta what he has to do, right Jenny?

Her: boy u think too much :P
I haven't grown tired of ur pick up lines haha, i've just been busy with stuff.
and you shud get back on fb. i dare you. or google+

Me: Hey there's nothing wrong with thinking too much. Some brains are manufactured that way ;) I dare you to keep using email.

Me: What's happening? How's Halloween? And don't tell me you were studying at school for your mid-terms

Her: i hung out in the mac lab with ma frd til midnight then went to Feed Me at celebrities! ...i never think there's enough bass in club subwoofers...lol

Me: Those speakers are loud. Just don't dance next to them, you might end up deaf the next time I talk to you. ;)

Celebrating my birthday tomorrow. My friend booked a dinner but I think I'm too anti social to go to it. Plus I haven't talked to old friends for some time now.

What are you doing till mid-night inside a lab. Actually the question is why? What about Halloween?

Her: you'll only lose the upper frequencies of your hearing threshold for a few days, at most a week. all djs wear goood earplugs =)

happy birthday!

the mac lab at sfu woodwards is sickk. got everything. its like our chillout place. cool kids'll be ther working/eating/partying all night~ film students prolly sleep ther haha.

(This is the last text - Any feedback or comments would be great Thanks!)


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PostPosted: Thu Nov 03, 2011 6:37 pm 
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Mid-Game - Summary
I met her on Friday - downtown (11pm) We picked it up then I got her email address. So i'll skip all the beginning stuff and get right down to the meat. Please give feedback, Thanks!

...skipped the intro...
Me: I get it, you've grown tired of my pick up lines. I guys gotta what he has to do, right Jenny?

Her: boy u think too much :P
I haven't grown tired of ur pick up lines haha, i've just been busy with stuff.
and you shud get back on fb. i dare you. or google+

Me: Hey there's nothing wrong with thinking too much. Some brains are manufactured that way ;) I dare you to keep using email.

Me: What's happening? How's Halloween? And don't tell me you were studying at school for your mid-terms

Her: i hung out in the mac lab with ma frd til midnight then went to Feed Me at celebrities! ...i never think there's enough bass in club subwoofers...lol

Me: Those speakers are loud. Just don't dance next to them, you might end up deaf the next time I talk to you. ;)

Celebrating my birthday tomorrow. My friend booked a dinner but I think I'm too anti social to go to it. Plus I haven't talked to old friends for some time now.

What are you doing till mid-night inside a lab. Actually the question is why? What about Halloween?

Her: you'll only lose the upper frequencies of your hearing threshold for a few days, at most a week. all djs wear goood earplugs =)

happy birthday!

the mac lab at sfu woodwards is sickk. got everything. its like our chillout place. cool kids'll be ther working/eating/partying all night~ film students prolly sleep ther haha.

(This is the last text - Any feedback or comments would be great Thanks!)
Now, let me begin by saying this "e-mail close".

What the hell is that?

Look, when you are vibing well with a girl you just go for the phone number. It's as simple as that. Going for her facebook or her e-mail is like setting yourself up five steps back from step 0. In short, there is nothing to be gained but a waste of time and effort.

So, first things first, go for her number already. You need to induce comfort building and attraction development through texting/calling her. That in turn will be your gateway to asking her out on a real date.

So, what if she is responsive in e-mails? It all counts for nothing if she is not willing to commit to spending some quality time alone with you. So, go do that.

Ask for her number.

Text/Call her.

Build enough comfort and attraction over phone.

Ask her out on a date.

Escalate and Close.

Those are the basic steps.

Delay will only kill your chances at each stage. You need to take this fast and you need to take this now.

Good luck. :)

_________________
" You're born alone and you die alone and this world just drops a bunch of rules on top of you to make you forget those facts. But I never forget. I'm living like there's no tomorrow, because there isn't one. "


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Thu Nov 03, 2011 8:53 pm 
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Quote:
Quote:
Wsup Don!!


I dunno if you remember my story from before, about the girl that I kinda like who's given me plenty of IOIs in the past... but I'm probably in the friend zone regardless. I don't want to give up tho, I feel like I can still make things happen with her, regardless of just being friends right now. There's still some attraction between us, but she's also a huge tease so I dunno.

Anyway I travel out of town every week, and she's been pretty busy too, so I don't see her during the weeks and haven't seen her for a week or two.

How often should I text her? Is it better to keep in touch often when im gone, or should I not text her to make her miss me? I kinda wana text her today or tomorrow tho cuz it's been a while (and frankly i miss her)... any ideas on a flirty/playful/funny text? THINK BRO! :P

Hello, coolbrownie69.

I am good. What about yourself? :)

Anyway, now to this situation on yours..

Look, I know the whole "Let's Just Be Friends" speech is a downer. But, the truth is that once a girl has decided that you really, really have to go through hell to change that position of you in her mind. Why don't you want to spend that time and effort on some girl who'd be better suited to return your affections and who does not have a situation with her boyfriend.

You are young. And she is not the girl you are going to settle down with. Especially if everything in this relationship is going to be on her terms. You don't even know if she's the best you'll ever meet. Once you stop your fixation on her , your eyes will be cursed with a better woman every day.

Remember, there's no harm in keeping her as a friend and using her for social benefit. But, there's not point in trying to evoke feelings in her about something which she does not feel about.

I hope you'll take my advice for what it is. It's an encouragement, not a deterrent.

Good luck. And thanks for thinking of me.

You broke my heart donny boi... i am completely crushed right now :cry:

But I am a persistent mother fucker. I don't believe in black and white, I believe all situations are different.. and I trust my instinct. But whatever happens, I don't believe in soulmates and I know I can get other girls... so even if i crash and burn, I think I will regret not trying more than a bad outcome. Do you disagree? Wish me luck either way..

_________________
Some people are like slinkys, not really good for anything but make you smile when you push them down the stairs.


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 Post subject: RE: Mid-Game
PostPosted: Thu Nov 03, 2011 10:43 pm 
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Thanks Don, I will do that. very much appreciate it! a # number would have been the most appropriate thing to do


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Fri Nov 04, 2011 7:04 am 
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Ok so I was at this club where I randomly came across an old friend from my first year in college(currently in 5th). I didnt know her that well during the first year due to her being with her bf but we had mutual friends so it wasn't as if we were complete strangers when we met again 4ish years later, her now being single. In fact she remembered my name without me giving it to her. When I was leaving the club I walked past her and she reminded me to fbook her to catch up. Heres how it went:

Me: Hey. Long time no see :)

HB: yes! it has been. It was good to see you! even if it was only a couple minutes :)

Me: It was def a highlight on my night though, even if it was too short. You probably get this a lot but your smile is contagious

HB: aww that is sweet! glad I brightened your night :)

and that was the last comment. Between my second comment and her last was about 3 days apartso I think I could have gone about it wrong. Maybe I should have tried to meet up with her instead, idk. What have I done wrong? How should I continue this?

_________________
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Last edited by Professor G on Fri Nov 04, 2011 5:08 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Fri Nov 04, 2011 4:56 pm 
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You broke my heart donny boi... i am completely crushed right now :cry:

But I am a persistent mother fucker. I don't believe in black and white, I believe all situations are different.. and I trust my instinct. But whatever happens, I don't believe in soulmates and I know I can get other girls... so even if i crash and burn, I think I will regret not trying more than a bad outcome. Do you disagree? Wish me luck either way..
Well, I said what I had to. It's not a line in the sand and you are always welcome to disagree and try out for a different outcome.

Good luck.

_________________
" You're born alone and you die alone and this world just drops a bunch of rules on top of you to make you forget those facts. But I never forget. I'm living like there's no tomorrow, because there isn't one. "


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 Post subject: Re: RE: Mid-Game
PostPosted: Fri Nov 04, 2011 4:57 pm 
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Thanks Don, I will do that. very much appreciate it! a # number would have been the most appropriate thing to do
I am glad to hear that you took my advice constructively.

Good luck with her. And keep me posted on how this goes.

_________________
" You're born alone and you die alone and this world just drops a bunch of rules on top of you to make you forget those facts. But I never forget. I'm living like there's no tomorrow, because there isn't one. "


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Fri Nov 04, 2011 5:14 pm 
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Ok so I was at this club where I randomly came across an old friend from my first year in college(currently in 5th). I didnt know her that well during the first year due to her being with her bf but we had mutual friends so it wasn't as if we were complete strangers when we met again 4ish years later, her now being single. In fact she remembered my name without me giving it to her. When I was leaving the club I walked past her and she reminded me to fbook her to catch up. Heres how it went:

Me: Hey. Long time no see :)

HB: yes! it has been. It was good to see you! even if it was only a couple minutes :)

Me: It was def a highlight on my night though, even if it was too short. You probably get this a lot but your smile is contagious

HB: aww that is sweet! glad I brightened your night :)

and that was the last comment. Between my second comment and her last was about 3 days so I think I could have gone about it wrong. Maybe I should have tried to meet up with her instead, idk. What have I done wrong? How should I continue this?
Firstly, Hello. :)

Now to your question..

While I cannot specifically put a finger on it and give you the exact reason for her late reply ,simply because there could be a lot of reasons for her not replying sooner. I am going to breach the topic of facebook.

This new trend is very, very detrimental to pick-up and I want you to avoid this as soon as possible... starting from NOW.

If you want to get in touch with women, ask for their numbers. No, not their facebook accounts or e-mail ids, but their phone numbers. Trying to shift the interaction to online is like setting yourself 5 steps behind from 0. Why would you ever want to do that?

This is the basic flowchart.

FACEBOOK/GOOGLE+/All that shit --> PHONE NUMBER --> DATE --> SEX

You want to be as far in that line as possible, so that you can reach your goal sooner. So, now you can just go ask for her number, and text/call her. That'd give you the advantage of reaching her when you want and getting a reply out of her much sooner, as compared to a social networking site account that she checks only when she wants to give herself an ego boost.

Good luck.

And thanks for thinking of me.

_________________
" You're born alone and you die alone and this world just drops a bunch of rules on top of you to make you forget those facts. But I never forget. I'm living like there's no tomorrow, because there isn't one. "


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