I remember when I used to have friends. It was A LOT easier to pick up girls. Such as parties and especially events like week long festivals. Your group+her group=win.
But being a loner as I am now makes it hard to get a girl.

An example: I was sitting at a train and looking at a girl. She ignored me. A woman asked if she could take my news paper. I said, "well sure." The girl then saw that I wasn't a total psycho and started flirting. If I had social proof it would be different.

But still, there are loners out there that get all the girls. Just like there are short guys getting all the girls. So there must be hope.

My question, how should a loner do it?

Well..I use to have a HUGE circle of friends in High School, and even the couple years after..But that changed to only have a few close friends who I would hang out with and go out with..A couple years later, everyone is doing their own thing, got a girlfriend/wife/kids/etc...And it can be tough..I find it to a little difficult to make new friends. It was so easy in school lol And it also depends on the area you live in..and your age.

For instance, I live in a tourist town..There's a couple thousand year round residents in my county, but in the summer time, the population sky rockets to over a few hundred thousand....Now in the summer, its easy to meet new people, and find great friends for the summer..but come the Fall/Winter months, if you're younger, most kids go back to school/college...and that leaves only a few people you're age...and old(er) people..Speaking for myself (I'm in my early 20's)...I would suggest to maybe join a gym, and go at different hours every time, if you can..perhaps you can find some people there at the busier hours you connect with and befriend. Libraries..Arts and Craft shows lol..If you have a Convention Center near you that hosts different types of events, look into that...any kind of community gathering/event......Other than that, I cant think of anything at the moment..I could use some advice on this as well. I don't find it hard to talk to people...but I do find it somewhat difficult to find people you really connect with

So having friends is a must for getting a girl? It seems so easy when you have friends and impossible when you're alone.

I am 100% sure there is a connection between your social life and the amount of girls you get.

Not really...No one said it was a "must"...If you think about it, a lot of things are "easier" with a support team...aka friends... but by no means is anything impossible. And stop thinking that you're alone.. You're not. You have yourself, and you're the man..You just gotta put yourself out there.

You mentioned, "I was sitting at a train and looking at a girl. She ignored me."

It is possible that you looking at her was awkward for her. Some girls are insecure like that. Even though they KNOW they are beautiful, they tend to think something is wrong with them if a guy stares too long...So she may have been ignoring you because of that. You were looking at her, but not initiating conversation, so she turned the other cheek.


Social proof is definitely beneficial...but take a look at how many women are out and about the same times you are..The grocery store, pharmacy, movies, park, beach, etc. NO ONE!! is with a group of friends ALL THE TIME...Yet guys pick up girls every day walking alone.

A loner should do it the same way any other PUA does it...Initiate a conversation..send a compliment..make fun of her in a teasing, playful way..touch her..be confident.

There is hope..and you know that. You just have to let go of some of things that you have lead yourself to believe...Talk to everyone and anyone. The more people you talk to, the more chances there are to make new friends and find new women.

I was just trying to convey in my last post, that as we get older, some things can tend to slow down. As I said when I was in high school, I had a huge group of friends..a couple years later, not so much....then a few after that...just a couple close ones..Its all about growing up, and finding your own path in life..Thats all I was saying..The older you get, parties tend to be farther in between, rather than a couple nights a week and all weekend...you know what I mean?

Just put yourself out there and converse with people..Build some confidence, and in no time you'll be meeting all sorts of new people..guys and girls..friends, and romantic interests.

i am a loner, my SPAM and small social cirlce know me as a ladies man.

If it's a place like the supermarket or the train station where it's normally being sole then it's possible to pick up girls. Your just gonna have to do more leg work. Find an actual close friend does get hardier as we get older,sometimes it's really just chance. The gym was a good suggestion.

Maybe you should try to make friends? Go to clubs (not nightclubs, clubs for things that interest you), use meetup (the website)? Or try night classes. You might meet a woman there as well, who knows? Make sure to do something that interests you so even if you don't make friends you get something out of it. And try to meet up with acquaintances. You might be discounting some people as friends when they actually are friends. Ask someone at work out for lunch, or get talking to people and friendship will develop.

If you'd rather not wait to make friends and go straight into picking up women, you could try cultivating a 'interesting loner' persona? Or online dating, where no-one knows how many friends you have? You can even make friends that way, although you'll likely have to do the approaching.

This might be truly awful advice, so I'm sorry. I'm a loner too, it's very awkward. I'm finding online dating might help with making friends, although I could just be misreading signals all over. They're very new potential friends.