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After 2.5 years my live in girlfriend dumped me. The last month she was very cold and distant and discussing with friends that she just didnt love me anymore, and found herself attracted to other guys, and wants to see other people. I have been stressed of late with exams and assignments and didnt treat her the best. Lack of attention, mood swings (I have ADD), yelling ect. Things also became quite routine (living together is not good for a relationship). Anyway she has moved out and I am not contacting her, all her stuff is still here so I will have to see her soon anyway, i will focus on being positive and happy.
For the last month I was quite "needy" i suppose as i could sense she was different and i wanted to get to the bottom of it, which eventually I did. But generally was not that needy. Wondering if this would be a good idea to send flowers with the following message.
Hi.
I am not sending these to try to win you back.
I just want you to know that I am sorry for causing this.
The lack of attention, affection, respect and romance - i recognise this and i
hope u forgive me at some point. I am taking steps to improve myself.
Also sorry for using u as my emotional pin cushion.
I'm doing well I hope you are too.
Any thoughts. I am chatting with other girls n that and she knows that and I'm aware of one itis but would love some feedback since this situation is mostly my fault with bad SPAM lately and a touch of neediness when we actually broke up.
We have had a generally good relationship.
I did not read what the other members had to say, but this I can definitely help you out with having been recently divorced, going through a separation and all that good stuff... DO NOT do this!
I was tempted to do something similiar when my wife and I were still jsut separated and not sure what we were going to do and glad I did not, why? It wouldn't have changed anything! If I would've sent her those flowers, it wouldn't have somehow changed the final outcome.
Oh, and f her! You don't have to apologize to anyone, especially her about anything. Improving yourself is great, but do it for you, not her.
Guilt can play on our emotions and make us do rash things, which are stupid even with the noblest intentions. Especially if someone is a good guy and it sounds like you are. That was the best advice a much older colleague of mine (who went through a divorce in his 20s) told me when he was going through it. Because of his "guilt", he was completely taken advantage of with the situation. You cannot blame yourself and let guilt do this to you. You are not 100% at fault. The old saying, it takes two to tango; you might have done some things or said some things you regret, but I'm finding it hard to believe she's completely innocent.
Also (and I don't if you sent them or not), she's not going to care and there's a possibility she may even be annoyed. If it makes you feel any better, we all go throught this. My anniversary is coming up and technically I'm still married (both signed, court crap takes awhile). My ex-wife and I are "friendly" so I asked her if she wanted to go out for our anniversary considering we are still married, technically, her response, "Why?" And that's what you'll get, "Why are you sending these?"
I hope that helps.
J.
J.
CHAT
