I have been divorced for a 2.5 years and I have 2 kids with this woman. We have been on and off... mostly off... and she is afraid of coming back (emotional pain).

I am aware that I did ALL of the wrong things, like showing weakness by being a doormat, crying, pledging my love and crap like that. That is over now and I want to get my family back together.

Lately, she has been showing interest in me again. She cuddles with me. We've made out a bit. Here is the kicker. She has a long distance boyfriend. She won't go further with me because that would be cheating on him (???).

So, I would like this guy gone so I can rebuild what I have lost. Very convoluted, I know. I just want help. Is it as simple as the straw man? I have to see her a few times a week and NC is impossible.

Any advice to help swing things in my favor?

TIA

~Surf

her being with someone right now doesn't effect you. remember that.
also people want what they cant have. remember that too.

the bad thing with this is you have not improved.
you are still wanting her and showing weakness, she has you wrapped around her finger. you need to turn this around.

remembering people want what they cant have, id advise you to go have fun, be that alpha man, hang with other ppl and get pictures with them. put them on facebook so she'll see your having fun, not upset she isnt with you. and when she sees your having fun, she will want to too.

if you have a daughter id buy a thing of womens perfume, dump a little out, give it to your daughter and say "hey. one of my friends left this here the other day when i had my work party (shows your having fun, demonstrating higher value). im prolly not gonna see her again (insinuates youve fucked and left someone TO THE WIFE), you keep it (points with daughter for giving her something)".. daughter sees mom.. daughter tells mom what dad gave her.. mom get jealous

besides that she prolly texts you saying "do you miss me?" in the instance where u answer with re-framing "do you miss me?" or even with

you: "as much as all the stars in the sky (say during the day)"
her: (whatever)
you: yea. cant really see any right now

Very good advice. I am pretty delicate on fb and don't want to be obvious that I am posting pics of me with women just to do it. I have been dating a lot and don't make too big of a thing out of it.

I am curious about the weakness though. At what point should I advance?

I can use as much advice as I can get so I am reluctantly bumping this.

Thanks!

Talk to her? Let her know how you feel?

I'm sure she'd appreciate the honesty.

It's not pussy to discuss it with her.

That stuff hasn't worked. It gives her all the power. I appreciate the angles that seem to be in line with the supply and demand psychology.

I am not sure what to do with the boyfriend though. I suspect he is a fling and I want to keep it that way and let it fizzle. Then hopefully, I look more desirable.