Why is Pickup So hard?



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 Post subject: Why is Pickup So hard?
PostPosted: Mon Oct 24, 2011 9:31 pm 
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It may just be me...it may not be, but i just find all these opening, DHV's, Disqualification, Push pull, negs etc etc etc so hard to remember/do them. I don't know DHV storys or how to neg properly and am finding it hard to take all this in, i've been at this a few months and don't feel as if i've made any progress. If someone could break each routine i've named and more down for me in easy steps then it would be much appreciated.

Marc.


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PostPosted: Mon Oct 24, 2011 9:35 pm 
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What exactly do you wantt broken down first?

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PostPosted: Mon Oct 24, 2011 9:42 pm 
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Basically, i want to know how to take everything in, as much as possible, as quickly as possible.
1. I can't notice anything to tease/neg a girl about. It's very rare for me.
2. I need some DHV storys that i can easily fit into a conversation.
3. Push-pull. I need this to be broken down and easy for me to understand, i just get flustered.
4. Disqualification, i kind of know how to use it but i never know when the right time is.

I wouldn't say i have AA and i'd say i can open a set successfully, i just don't how to be that "Unique" guy and get them interested and attracted.


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PostPosted: Mon Oct 24, 2011 10:06 pm 
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Quote:
Basically, i want to know how to take everything in, as much as possible, as quickly as possible.
1. I can't notice anything to tease/neg a girl about. It's very rare for me.
2. I need some DHV storys that i can easily fit into a conversation.
3. Push-pull. I need this to be broken down and easy for me to understand, i just get flustered.
4. Disqualification, i kind of know how to use it but i never know when the right time is.

I wouldn't say i have AA and i'd say i can open a set successfully, i just don't how to be that "Unique" guy and get them interested and attracted.
So basically you want men-to-women interaction to be decoded in a post. Hmm...interesting.

It sounds to me you're focusing too much on theory and might be disregarding the "practice". How about this, go out there and talk to 20 random women this week. Come back and see if any of those questions were answered by yourself. :)

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PostPosted: Mon Oct 24, 2011 10:10 pm 
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I wanted to get enough theory down so i wouldn't run out of things to say during interactions and was hoping they would go well if i used the material, But that's what i'll do. Some practical.


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PostPosted: Mon Oct 24, 2011 11:28 pm 
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If are worried about not having enough to say then learn how to converse better with people, not try and get more theory down. Theory isn't going to give you more to talk about. Getting better at conversations will.


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PostPosted: Mon Oct 24, 2011 11:31 pm 
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I think its best not to rely on material, that way you get better at natural conversation. There are many useful ideas in the mystery method, but I shy away from canned material these days. Having a few canned conversational gambits is nice, but having an entire interaction as a pre-scripted routine is just a mask. They can be good training wheels, but I am definitely an advocate for natural game.


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PostPosted: Mon Oct 24, 2011 11:38 pm 
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I think its best not to rely on material, that way you get better at natural conversation. There are many useful ideas in the mystery method, but I shy away from canned material these days. Having a few canned conversational gambits is nice, but having an entire interaction as a pre-scripted routine is just a mask. They can be good training wheels, but I am definitely an advocate for natural game.
A good way to improve your natural game is through asking questions. Pay attention to whatever she says (something that many guys don't do) and ask her something related to the topic. Do not make it a job interview. It should be more like 'asking-contributing'. If you're talking and she says she loves pets, you could say something like "oh really? If you could buy a pet right now, what would it be? I love dogs, not big ones, but the user-friendly small little dogs. I know they sometimes look ridiculous, but they're a lot of fun...."

See...spontaneous ;)

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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Tue Oct 25, 2011 6:44 am 
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Quote:
1. I can't notice anything to tease/neg a girl about. It's very rare for me.
2. I need some DHV storys that i can easily fit into a conversation.
3. Push-pull. I need this to be broken down and easy for me to understand, i just get flustered.
4. Disqualification, i kind of know how to use it but i never know when the right time is.
1. Negging is not always necessary but it can be nails, hair, eyes, make-up, even a slightly wrongtoned voice. Teasing is as easy as replying "Oh really?" with a smirk to whatever she says. She will be like "whaaaaat?" and you'll be "nothing, continue..."
2. No you don't. Let her do the qualification. And if you do want stories, you do have a life I suppose? Tell a story that happened to you in the past. I'm totally against making stories up. It's fake and most of the times it's obviously fake. No you have not seen a yellow elephant in central park. It's rediculous and nobody believes you.
3. Push-pull means as much as making a move and then backing off. Say something teasing that shows interest and then afterwards say something that conveys disinterest. Agree with what she's saying completely. Soak it up for two minutes and then the next two minutes you tease her on everything she does. I was gonna write break her down, but the bold axe isn't the way to go.
4. Disqualification as a stealth tactic is to be done way early on. But again, like negging, you don't always need to disqualify. On the other hand you can disqualify until she's in bed with you. My favoriete DQ is this: "You aren't from x (x = any random city/town) are you?" She'll be yes or no and you'll say "people of x are stuck up? Are you?" That's both a disqualifier and a qualifier for her. Easy as baking pancakes.


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PostPosted: Tue Oct 25, 2011 7:25 am 
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I don't agree with people who say that "negging is not needed"...I think we just disagree on what a neg is. A neg is no more an insult than a slap on the shoulder is a fight.

It's a way of mocking in a friendly manner that causes her to laugh at herself, open up to you. It shows that you are comfortable and confident with her, and that you are an equal who won't just take her shit. It forces her to treat you like an equal instead of trampling all over you in her high heels, and forces her to put a little brainpower into coming up with a smart response. This engages her and she will enjoy the conversation more.

For example, If you notice that she makes a certain gesture when she becomes self-conscious, then simply smiling and mimicking the gesture back at her would be a form of neg.

Some of the example negs given in The Game are actually very insulting...but that's where calibration comes in. Some girls may be more combative and loudmouthed and they will enjoy bantering with stronger negs. If she isn't responding with a smile, then you've gone too far.

I never use pre-canned negs I find they just come naturally as long as you adopt the right mental attitude.


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PostPosted: Tue Oct 25, 2011 1:34 pm 
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negging can be just a negative complimnent about her hair, eyes, any facial expression, her clothes, etc etc.

Stories that represent could be anything funny that shows you were in a position not many poeple get into.

push pull could be anything like "o your too nice of girl for me". The same can go for false disqualifiers.

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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Tue Oct 25, 2011 3:55 pm 
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Thanks for all this guys, it's help me understand alot more. I think i'm going to give The StyleLife challenge ago, i've heard very good reviews.


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Tue Oct 25, 2011 4:19 pm 
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It's a great book for starters. Don't give up when it gets hard.


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