i manage to have a meaningfull relationship with myself and my own life... everything else is not important , it's secondary stuff.. you think humans are so special .. like we are enlightened...where i come from we do not deal with the human side but also with the animal side.

psychology is subjective .. instinct ,genes and biological drives are not...
that is why i usually throw all psychological system out of the window because that is all semi-subjective ( psuedo science)... all issues are created out of unbalance in the objective side : '' the biology side'' of humans. humans are fucking flawed .. it's terrible....

woman are tend to be more emotional and irrational .. they fuckup more than men IN GENERAL...
you are being such a jackass ? what is next .. pots of gold.. woman with quadro-clits... unicorns flying over the rainbow giving you blowjobs ? i never said all woman cheat .. but because we are humans and also ANIMALS AKA BIOLOGICAL MACHINES the possiblity exist that she will cheat on you for no particular reason...

here is some maths:
ANIMAL + BIOLOGICAL MACHINE + ATTRACTION ISN'T A CHOICE + EMOTIONS = .. yes...

if you get into a relationship you must face the possiblity that she will cheat.. you must accept the fact that humans are flawed... just like the fact the relationship will end someday.. by breaking up or by death of age... all you guys don't think about these things when you get into a relationship.. you guys just wear industrial strenght beer goggles voluntarily because you are offered some vagina.

.. now enough bullshit ... im not here to talk about systems im here to help to OP so stop wasting my time with your minor imaginary realities.
you are a complete moron ... you aren't listening to the OP at all ... HE IS ALREADY HURT... she didn't cheat on him , she didn't do anything to trigger this shit...

he isn't afraid of being hurt .. he's already hurt but he doesn't know why... until he knows why he will run in circles fucking himself up.

OP doesn't trust himself and can barely control his thoughts ... how can you trust someone if you cannot trust yourself ? he is having obsessive compulsive thoughts about cheating and other weird shit which probably is caused by some trauma in his childhood. The question is not if he should trust her ... the question is can she trust him ? he is the one having all this compulsive shit....

and stop with these god damn pussy quotes .. you are not helping him at all... Fear is not taking action... facing fear is great but you need to know where it is otherwise you cannot see it - that is how it works with internal fears.

look for fear ... once you find it... do not face it but punch it in the face .. choke that mohterfucker...

OP has lived his whole life with this fear but he never was aware of it... the harder and obsessive the issue is - the longer it has been there.

OP is just projecting .. he cannot trust anyone.. he is just projecting his own emotionsin his text.. he doesn't trust himself - give him a few more years with this state of mind and he will suffer from paranoia and schizophrenia...

eventually the OP has to accept himself...no trust = uncertainty... being uncertain about yourself is not accepting who you are... therefore his issues are not with woman, woman only trigger these issues because these old traumatized reference experiences are superglued to his ego... His girlfriend is not responsible AT ALL AN OP KNOWS IT.

his brain does not understand his emotions and experiences ( probably from childhood ) and thus it goes ballastic .. creating thoughts and lies... OP that is how your brain and body works... you feel some psychological pain - probably from childhood and your brain doesn't know why so it goes searching for proof. what you are experiencing is how flawed the human body is.... especially when you have inner game issues...

from experience if i must make a evaluation i would say OP is :

1.sexually abused in childhood
2.didn't receive enough attention from his parents and not the right type
3.Parents divorced or his mom did something bad .. like cheating on his dad
4. He was confronted with reality by his dad in childhood .. it was too much to handle so nowadays he just tries to block reality.

it's one of those 4 or a combination of them... i can assure you it has taken place in his childhood otherwise he would point out the issue, emotion and memory himself. OP probably had terrible relationships as well or they were all short term and not too serious...

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i have invested too much time in this thread ... so i have to point out my self interest and commercial interests...for 5000$ i will do surgery ... i crack your skull open and take a look in your brains to look if everything is right...with 10 free psychology sessions included of course...

OR

you can stop lying to yourself and try to fix your issues.. how ?
train yourself to be aware and in the moment...
and point out your issues without lying to yourself
follow inner game material and STICK TO IT
get professional help.. go to a psychologist , psychiatrist or therapist...

i don't know which country you live in and how good your health insurance is..
but i can tell you straight on, you need a psychiatrist...( very likely)

How do you do this?
Can you do this without loosing your self (or soul)?
[/b]

You're already a skeptic, mate. Will it return you your faith in humanity?
Of course not.

Will it help you to come to terms with the fact that you feel powerless and paranoid?
It did for me.

You need a working/usuable model of human psyche.
How do you get one?

Ponder it a little. It's you OWN sense of control you'd like to regain... Sort of defeats the purpose if I tell you my own findings right off the bat, doesn't it?

Though I'll tell you this. We people like to pretend we're all different and want different things... It's hopeful, but false.
People ARE like you. Everyone has felt confident, insecure, greedy, just, guilty etc.
We all have the same 'profiles', if you will. We all adopt these profiles when interacting with different people (Little sister, Parent, teacher, friend).

Let that thought guide you along with the following question: "What do these instances have in common?"

I guess what im thinking is id rather have her align herself with MY best interests than the other way around...(if thats possible).

A women is no more likely to cheat than a man is. There is no psychological study that proves a woman is more of a cheat.

Generalizing women is a bad thing. It can lead to judgements and cause you to act according to stereotypes. If you pre-judge women, then you will act accordingly. The women that don't cheat will feel insulted by your behavior and will run away. Leaving you with the women that do cheat.

My new, more minor worry, however, is why? Is it normal for girls to be super enthusiastic at the beginning of a relationship then, presumably once they get comfortable, back off a bit?
It still passes my mind why at the beginning she used to tear up a little when I said sweet things, and she would make comments like "I've never met someone as amazing as you", and now she doesn't as much.
GOOD news is, I'm no longer reasoning that this means she is cheating. I'm just a little concerned that maybe I have become too boring? Is it normal for girls to be less enthusiastic as it goes on?