Haven't you noticed that I have noticed that we are not talking about the same thing?

People act 'arrogant' over others so much in this world, and this might also be the reason why there is no peace in the middle east

If it was in my hands i would have had cancel countries like the US

Oh, the irony.

No, I haven't noticed that, because I have no idea what you are talking about. You're just spitting out quotes from other people without explaining anything.

Here is the problem with that (and it has nothing to do with me being arrogant):
You quoted David DeAngelo, but gave no elaboration. billywillis asked you what you meant, and you replied with another quote and said you're not sure.

Now, if someone is already confused and thinking irrationally due to their situation, and you post one-liners with no explanation, do you think that helps them or leaves them more confused? It leaves them more confused. Which is why I asked you to not do that. If you're not going to or can't explain what you mean, then you are doing more harm than good.

I do agree that it was different if i read the whole message,

I hope i've what to say about it,
it was like i was treated like i can't contribute to anything,
Maybe it's just my inner problem, maybe it also others problems that aren't sensitive to others,
The truth is that i'm not sure, and and least i'm not pretending to be sure about ideas (or existed reality)

I'm treated like i do kind of a sin

I know, I'm a sort of complainer that left at the end with a terrible feeling,

If you want to contribute, that's great. That's what the forum is for.

Just make sure you are fully explaining things or you will only confuse people. Relationship matters, in which hearts are broken and people are desperate, are not good situations to leave people confused.

Not to mention, it appears that English is not your first language, which also makes it harder to understand what message you are trying to convey.

hello iwas wondering if someone can help me with now my ex gf. me and her still talk the phone from time to time she tells me that she does love me but she dosent know if she wants to go back out with me.. which gets me really frustrated and so i act indiffrent alittle at this time both me and her are putting about the same amount of effort to contact each other. i really do love her but this relationship sucks every time i talk to her it ends up to be an argument which is nothing how our relationship began. i dont know what to do should i just let her go?. i was reading something that says that i shouldnt stay with her friends if we are not going out bc shell just use me for emotional reasons for the realationship then after shes over me shell leave me so should i just tell her that idont wana be her friend if she wants to be my gf if not to go fuck off. also what tore us apart is that i rearly see her maybe once every 2 weeks. she says she still loves me and i tell her i do to she says she dosnt know any more if she wants to get back tho because i broke up with her i think we argue so much that thats whats holding her back

You'll find the answers to all of your questions in this thread if you go back over and read everything.

Stop talking to her. Remaining friendly after a break up is the worst thing you can to do yourself. You are correct that she is just using you for emotional support; it's what girls do.

Don't give her an ultimatum by telling her she has to be your gf or nothing. Just tell her you can't be friends and that you don't think you should talk anymore. Tell her you both need space so you can move on. That's it. Don't tell her you love her or that you'll always be there, or that you hope she'll change her mind, or any of that garbage.

Then delete her number and start getting on with your new life.

Sure she loves you, that never goes away. However, she doesn't want to go back out with you because she is no longer attracted to you, because you're not a man.

You have to show her that you are a strong man by getting on with your life and showing her that you are so strong that you will be just fine without her. And that is the truth; you will be just fine without her.

Indeed, the best advice a man can get, thank you!

the thing is that its not really that she dosnt wanna go back out i broke up with her she told me that she was happy the way it was but she wished she would see me more as do i. last night we were on the phone and she was telling me how she wished i was with her cuddling in bed sleeping right next to each other the problem is that we are not on the same page when she wants to act that way im mad at something she did so i act indiffrent as well i hang up and she calls me back. i love her and she says everyone know she loves me to shes just being distant and not even that much im just a bit dramatic as well. what can i do to fix this when she starts acting indiffrent i get mad and then she starts to care and i dont its like a cycle. iwas thinking of taking her a rose and not apologizing or anything just try to have a good time being kinda romantic with her of course only if she is being sweet to me back and having a good time or would this back fire on me i mean because i love her i want to put just a little effort more and if it dosent work well then o well it cant get worst but a brake up. what do you guys think i should do? another thing is that shes been hanging out with some guy friends she can tell i kinda get jelouse so i guess she tells me without me even asking really but she says their just friends anyway and i cant say anything anyway bc we are not going out. iknow she still cares a little she shows it that she still wants to make this relationship work bc she still calls me i still call her we go to sleep on the phone sometimes bc she wants me to be there and same here but its like something is not connecting any advice would be great

First things first: You need to start using paragraphs and punctuation, because your posts are very difficult to read.

Second: Your situation is not unique at all. Like I said before, you should be able to find all of the answers in this thread, as it has mostly been addressed.

Why are you getting mad about things? A man doesn't get mad about things a girl does; a man does not react. You say you are being indifferent, but what you are really being is passive aggressive; you are pouting.

Stop thinking from your perspective and think from her's for a moment. You broke up with her. Her pride is hurt. When she acts indifferent toward you, that is her way of paying you back for the hurt you've caused her. The other part of that game is trying to make you jealous by telling you she is hanging out with other guys. Chances are she really isn't even hanging out with other guys, but she is just saying so to get a reaction out of you. You are falling right into her trap by getting mad.

You say you broke up with her because you were arguing and you get mad. Guess what? It takes two to argue. Your own behavior is sabotaging your relationship. You are allowing her to control the interactions in your relationship by reacting to her the way you do.

You say you want to be with her, and she wants to be with you. It's not connecting because you're not allowing it to. How can you possibly connect if you get mad and hang up on her?

Control your emotions. Work on your inner game. You have a lot to work on when it comes to yourself; that has to come before a relationship can work.

Thanks for the advice i really appreciate it. I was also thinking how do i go about this she tells me she does love me but im like a weight on her shoulders since we are always arguing. I will put a stop to it I will be the man. But how should i go about this should i tell her the way i feel and tell her i still love her and just not argue and have a normal conversation or should i ignore it and just come off with a good vibe and if she gets mad or seems like somethings bothering her just adress it in a good manner and keep going? And what if she acts indiffrent do i just keep trying or just let it go? im sorry for so many questions im just so confused

I recommend you read "Train Your Girlfriend" by Matt Huston.

Quick background: Been dating a HB 8 for a couple weeks. Had the opportunity to F close on day 3 (she was all over me in bed) but I declined b/c we were drunk and I thought that was the respectable thing to do. She has involved me with her son (18month boy) and had me over for dinner with her parents. Seems like i've already got it locked up doesn't it? but she is a horrible communicator. Texts aren't replied always ( i get she's busy with work and the kid) and phone calls seem to be the only way to get communicate with her. which sucks cuz i hate talking on the phone.

What i'm asking is how do I get her excited... how do I build a connection? DHV more? pump the buying temp? Its not about the F close, i've been with hundreds of women and at the age of 27 it doesn't seem that important to me anymore. Appreciate the tips!

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Balls Deep

Pop

Figured I'd update. We had a major blowout a week ago (when we went out of town) that almost ended it but in the end she said she wanted to give it another try. For the last week or so everything went well and we got along great but she seemed somehow detached and withdrawn. I knew what was coming and sure enough tonight she called me (after a good weekend) to say that she feels like there is "something missing" and that she thinks we shouldn't stay together anymore. I of course asked her "what" was missing and she was unable to pin anything solid down and just said she cared about me, enjoyed being with me, we had great sex, she likes the times when we are together etc, etc, but that she felt like she was "forcing herself" to try to make it work and gave a few very nondescript reasons so whatever... she made the move.
I told her that I thought that the reason something was missing was because she had been holding back for the past several months and had never truly invested herself completely so of course something was missing and she admitted that might be true and that she may be making a huge mistake but for now she feels like ending it is the best thing so I simply said "I'm not going to try to convince you to reconsider anymore... if you truly believe you gave this a fair chance and you still don't want to be with me then I don't need this anymore. I'm not going to beg anyone to want to be with me". She's coming to get her stuff tomorrow or the next day... Suggestions?

Influence and persuasion is the process of getting someone else to want to do react think or believe in the way you want them to.


If you would persuade, you must appeal the the interest rather than intellect.
-Benjamin Franklin

You cannot logic a girl into bed, you must change her mood not her mind.
-Mr. M

The last quote by Mr. M pertains not only to PU and sex, but to life and female psychology as a whole. I would say this is simply an effective technique if it fits your goals.

Ok here is the thing i tried it out everything was going awesome I just got myself a job. Not a great one but considering I was unemployed itll do. Things were going great we talked on the phone and I was trying to display all the attractive traits and just having fun with it. Now here's the thing I said to her about 20 minutes ago do you wanna go out because I don't just wanna be your friend. And she said well what are we now? I laughed a little and said haha well I actually don't know lol. She said well the way I like to think about it is it's complicated. Like if she was clicking it on facebook or some shit. I didn't say anything else and we left it at that we were going to sleep and I said I had to give my sister back her phone. So I said sweet dreams she said you to I love you and i didn't say I love you back I just said ok and clicked. The reality is that I was a little mad more like disappointed that she didn't say yes and I kind showed it. What do you guys think she docent want me back right and I don't know I'm thinking I'm going to stop all contact but I know shell be calling me. What do you guys think? Btw keep in mind I broke up with her. I also had sex with her two days ago while we were not going out. And she cofesed to me that even If we are not going out she really loves means this was really randomwe were just talking I said I appreciate it and I love Her as well. I mean there is something there I just don't know if in my situation I need to just keep talking and displaying the attractive traits or just freeze her out for a while and if so until when since she calls me If I don't pick up at least 2 or 3 times