Hi all, just got out of a 9 year relationship (on good terms) and am eager to play the field etc.
I already have a ..good friend in an open relationship but the problem is a girl I meet months ago. Every time I see her, I feel "infatuated" and can't get her out of my head for days. She went to India and 3 months later I got a SMS from her asking for a product I sold. I replied to her inquiery asked how India was, and if she still worked at the bar where we had meet. She said she worked there the day after and I should come round for a beer.

So.. I went there we chatted for 2 hours and just before leaving I held her arm told her I wanted to kiss her and we did. For a long time, with lots of feeling.

A week later I called her saying I'd love to see her again, she said yes in a happy voice, we decided monday and I ran out of battery on the phone (I did txt her once I was home later). Come monday I called her, and she answer in a not so motivated tone of voice, telling me she'd forgotten she's seeing a friend already but would get in touch later, which she never did.

I don't call her all the time because I don't want to come across as desperate or needy. Also I'm worried I might have painted a not so studdy picture of me as we talked about insecurities and shyness that time in the bar.
She's a single mother, but seems to have lots of lovers.. so I wonder what she could want, or not want..

Now, another week has passed since we didn't see eachother, and I'm thinking I should give it a last shot.
Well I guess it's obvious.. I have to call her, otherwise nothing happens, but I maybe I could have done this better, faster.. what to do when she never got back last week.. what does that mean? After all she was initially eager to see me a week after the kiss..
Thanks for any advice!

Hey Rupertoid.

I know how frustrating mixed signals can be, and have dealt quite a lot with them in the past!
One question before continuing : does she have a voice mail? If she doesn't answer, leaving a confident, funny, non-needy voicemail will help a whole lot more than just a missed call.
I can imagine how much you enjoy being certain/comfortable with women after having a 9 year relationship, and not knowing where you have your women can be quite the agony! I can also imagine you're quite used to commit. Now there might lie a problem here, that she's feeling your putting to much into it. A girl generally wants to be comfortable and have a good time around man in the beginning, so be careful to display to much affection as this can make her uncomfortable if she's not ready.

And this is where my point lies. If you have taken a look into the mystery method, you will see him describe the problems with seduction too early, making her think you are expecting something the next time you see her. So, what i would recommend is the call(or way of contacting her) not being about: "I enjoy you're company, want to hang out", or for the love of god not "Why didn't you get back to me", but rather you wanting to take a minute to discuss something you have already talked about (and discovered her insight?) and by that taking the focus away from the kiss, and towards the comfort building time earlier! I'm sure you have something you could discuss with her after 2 hours of deep conversation.

Good luck

Shredded.

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Don't ask, answer. Don't beg, give. Don't seek, show.
Be a PUA; live.

Hey,
thanks for the reply. I shall try this approach, I think I know something I can take up.. But after all I want to see her again, so how do I go from talking about a.."neutral" subject to seeing her again. Do I call her, talk about that subject, and if all goes well ask to meet again, or do I call her again some other day about that?

Ok, so I called her and ask how she was etc. She pretty much appologised for not having called, saying she'd been ill and then on a boat trip etc. Continued talking about stuff mentioning this therapy thing she does, and then invited me over to her place so I should come round this friday to try it out. Said she'll send me her address via FB.
Now half a day has passed, and she still hasn't messaged me. She's been on FB though.
Maybe I'm just too anxious, but boy, I'm thinking friday will come and I won't have her address. In which case I just wonder if the best thing is to remind her or just drop the case.
If I don't do anything, nothing happens, and if I do the worst thing is I look like a desperate stalker.
I wonder if she's playing at something here...

Dude.....sounds like you're giving her all the control here. Let her know that your going to be hanging with your mates at the weekend ; and all the cool things you're gunna do. Let her come to you, if you sound or look desperate you're not playing the game .

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Just starting out....

yeah, I guess that's just what I needed to hear! haha thanks.
The plan for the weekend is partying with my ... don't like the word.. lover. I've pretty much decided not to call her ever again. I like being straight forward with my feelings, but I guess that's what's blown it with this one. Amongst other things.
I'll just have to do it better next time.