thur went to an expensive store and bought the shirt, tie and jeans that were on a mannequin on display. it looked good and all matched each other. everyone said i looked great. this was to dress up for a party on fri and on sat. everyone at the party could not dance, even girls were awkward and did not move much just stood in a circle. noone was anywhere near as good a solo dancer as i was. sucks i decided not to partner dance with any girls cause i thought i am a bad leader and make them feel uncomfortable/embarass myself or alienate them. i still do this thing where i isolate myself in a corner and dance away from people and the girls dont know if i am dancing with them or not. i did a little flirting and some girls flirted back! then i invited ppl from the Fri party to the Sat party through fb and nobody replied. bummer. i also sent fb friend requests and most ppl accepted. i never sent fb friend requests before much, but now i do, and my hope is i will get random fb invites to events and parties i can go to and it will look like i belong there because i am mutual fb friends with other ppl who go there..

had good convo and gave my facebook name to a girl at a cafe on Sunday morning! i was sitting and she was in line. i said she can sit on the chair and she said no thanks. i asked what drink she had and she said strawberry smoothie. i said thats a good drink. i told her there is a festival in this are in a couple of days. she said oh really? she told me where and when she works on her own accord and said she went out to bars with her friends last night and its her breakfast. i told her about myself that i go dancing and where i work and she said she knows a girl from the dance i go to and i told her i knew that girl and how she is a pro dancer and how thats why she and i dont dance much. i told her i was at a party fri and sat night and that i can send her invites to parties like that if she wants to add me on fb. its been a few hours and she gave me her smartphone for me type my name in. but she has not sent me a fb friend invite yet, and i'm starting to think she might've been another flake. oh well. kinda disappointed but it was a successful convo and she hung out talking to me on her own accord for a few minutes after she got her food to go and shook my hand on her way out. and i have discovered something - on Sunday morning all the girls go out to Starbucks and cafe's to get breakfast! they went out saturday night and woke up and they are hungry and getting food. so perfect time to stand in line at a cafe and say hi to girls in the line!

the girl from the breakfast line at a cafe from Sunday morning did not befriend me on fb.. flake. i thought she was giving me IOIs - kept talking, telling me about herself, and hung around talking for a few minutes after she got her meal to go. and we had a mutual acquaintance! she did look nervous and uncomfortable and shook my hand on her way out.. oh well. i will dress up and try again! i believe 1/25 good conversations with a female stranger leads to a date. I have 15 more until a date haha!

got an invite from two fat chicks who are my friends sort of to go to a bar with a band
i danced with them, but i felt like they ignored me. h
i also solo danced away from them, and i got approached by women three times

1) this tipsy girl and her friend started sandwiching me when it was still only 9pm, so i felt like everyone was watching me cuz nobody else was dancing. they gave up dancing with me quick because i gave off a vibe like i dont want to dance with them? i felt very anxious and on the spot and i did not enjoy it because of the anxiety. it'd be nice to grind with two girls, but its hard to enjoy it with the anxiety. the tipsy girl told me to talk to her friends to get them to dance, i did, then she took me by the hand and brought me to them again, i had a weird/awkward conversation with her friends and one of them the tipsy girl likes me, but i think she was just teasing me. and even if the tipsy girl did like me, i am afraid pursueing a drunk girl who started sandwiching me on the dance floor out of nowhere. too crazy.

2) this small bachelorate group, a plump girl from their circle and her friend who looked bitchy, came up to me while i was solo dancing and told me i am a good dancer and where i am from. i tried to talk to them and tried to dance with the girl who approached me. i showed her contra dance moves and she said she thought they were weird and then i dance with her a little and it was ok, but not very good, then she solo danced in front of me and she looked very bad and i did not know what to do with myself, and just stood there, then the bitchy friend said "she does not want to dance with you anymore. you have to go. go away." i said "i dont have to go." then i just turned around and continued dancing with my friends. i guess the girl approached me and i did not act interested in her enough, made her feel rejected. i dont know what the fuck to do at these clubs/bars. seems like i cannot win.

3) then i turned around to a circle of girls and offered a fat chick to take picture of her group with her camera and she said her camera isnt working. i took that as a rejection and turned around and continued dancing with my friends. but then a good looking girl from that same group asked me to take a pic of them, i did, then they kind of ignored me, i sort of kept dancing in their circle but they did not look at me, then i asked to take a pic with them and they sort of did but they either did not know what was going on or did not want to do it. anyway, then i turned and went back to my friends. i did not want to stick around if i was not wanted

then i went to a jazz bar and i talked to 2 sets. both did not seem interested in talking to me, it was loud, and i felt awkward, so i gave up quickly. the second set, the girl asked me "where are you from?" i said where i live and she said she is visiting for the wekend. i guess if i shared more when she said where i am from, maybe we would have had more of a convo. i gave up because her friend gave her a look, and i interpreted it like she does not want me to talk to them

i dressed up today, looking good in a matching outfit. my tie did not really match my shirt, but it was ok. i felt bad on my way home because i did not get to talk to women much when i went out today. i guess i should not expect more when i go out to bars. so lesson learned? dont go to bars.

said "hi how are you?" and smiled to 20-30 different girls at a fair. my tactic was to go around looking at the ground, when i see a girl, say "hi" to her before i take off my eyes and look somewhere else. and then if she smiled, does not shudder away and says hi how are you back, then i might ask her or say something. i got a couple of small conversations out of it, but nothing that would lead to a number close. then i did the same thing with 8 different girls on my way to and inside a coffee shop. i did not go and approach these girls, these are just girls that happened to be near me as i was walking, standing in line, sitting at a coffee shop table. one thing is don't really follow up with questioning me. sometimes they ask where i am from but they dont sound curious about me. this whole trying to befriends girls who are strangers is really tough. i dont want to be aggressive, i want to say hi, exchange one or two pleasant sentences and if they are not chasing me a little, leave them alone. i dont wanna be a creeper. it was an adventure, and the last time i did it was half a year ago and there is a world of a difference between then and now. back then, a year ago, 9/10 girls got scared and did not say hi. this is because i walked too fast, did not smile, was with other guys (wings).
today, i am happy, i smile, i walk at a medium pace, i plant my feet, i try to say hi as soon as i look at a girl, and i judge girls who look like they shudder away or avoid eye contact. i am a more pleasant person now, and my people skills are much better. this is not a result of doing any pick up, it is a result of going out, dancing lessons, group therapy, going to events on my own and socializing at work. still, it's frustrating that i said hi to 30-40 girls, more than half smiled back and said hi back, and still, even when i had a conversation, it got awkward and they did not ask me anything. i wonder what can help me have conversations with women are not immediately scared away that help me befriend them? or should not really bother with this approaching strangers thing and just look for friends through dancing or hobbies? because even when i go to small parties, i dont even feel like i am friends with my friends let alone befriend the strangers at the party. i do have conversations and do flirt a little, but still find myself alone and nobody seems to want to hang out with me other than my old friends or these fat chicks, who are fun and pretty, but even though they invite me to go out with them now, we ignore each other when we go out and i dont feel satisfied. we do talk a little and dance a little, but its not what i want. i want more friendship. i've got to look for a group that can help me have fun and enjoy just hanging out with people. maybe a story telling group, maybe stand up or something where you tell jokes to each other, or more improv.

i think i talk too much about myself and bore the girls during my day time conversations with women i happen to stand in line, sit next to at a cafe, stand next to in a crowd... i feel awkward and anxious when listening to a girl speak about herself, i feel like i have to think fast about what to say next. im just going to listen next time and say one or two sentences to get them to talk more about themselves. im not going to say anything about myself other than that i dance (to dhv myself, share something about myself, and give them a chance to hint they want to meet up by saying they are interested in the dancing)

at the sunday hip hop class there were 20 girls and two guys! but the girls are so hard to talk to - they just there for the dance then they run out the door. one asian woman maybe 10 years older than i am did invite me to the open space btw two people when we were in the circle as a class. one girl i said hi to near the bench when ppl were coming in and she did not really talk balk, and i said hi and talked to the two other guys who were more interested in talking. then i saw a girl looking at the schedule on my out the door, i asked her if there was a salsa class there today and then if she was in the same hip hop class and she said yes. she began telling me something but i was nervous and ran away (smiled, laughed said she was pretty good at the class and said i will be there next sunday) i am afraid of seeming like i am there to force a conversation and dont wanna creep them out so i say hi how are you and then leave shortly thereafter unless the girl is kind of chasing me already (asks me something about myself) usually i just feel so awkward and nervous i dont listen or watch the girl so i am stuck in my own head, projecting my fears on the girl.. if i think more positive and pay more attention to the girl, i might get something out of my approaches. anyway, today i said hi to 5 girls before 2pm! when i got home, i clicked my tally counter 5 times. i am keeping track of each time i say how are you and smile to a girl. so far my counter says 27 (thats today and last weekend, i did not say hi to women during the weekdays much)

also i do my CBT/Positive psychology written exercises on my netbook on the bus and train to and from work. i am not buying a car to save money and so i can invest the $800-1000 per month that owning a new car costs, into paying off my debt and also buying pimping clothes last time i spent $220 on one outfit - $100 for a pair jeans (i did not look at the price, they look like they cost $40 lol) and $70 for a shirt and $70 for a tie. i had $150 shoes on and a $20? belt and $20 hat.

so if i dont do my written exercises to dispute/untwist/reframe my negative thoughts, i get depressed. if i psych myself up for a two days, i get into a good mood and smile to ppl all the time and women stare at me a little because they like when i smile..

got a prescription topical antibiotic cream for my acne. it costs like $120 for 2-3 months. i hope it clears out my acne. i dont know why i had acne since ten years ago and have not gone to a dermatologist yet. girls always say how acne is a turn off.

been doing yoga in the morning and in the evening for two days in a row! today i also did a little from new york city ballet work out dvd. the ballet will improv me abs and will improve my posture.
going to try start dong positive affirmations.
listed the advantage of going out and flirting and trying to talk to women. one of them was that i want to practice kissing women and another is so that i have something to post in this thread..

today all i did pick up wise was smile and say hi to three women who were walking alongside down a park. the woman whom i smiled at and was looking at when saying hi (i did not change my pace or direction, kept of walking as i did past them while i was saying hi) she smiled back with an effort and said hi back. they kept silent afterward and started talking with each other again once i passed them. people usually are anxious when someone says hi to them and dont know what to make of it so that is probably what they thought. or maybe they thought a cute guy said hi to them, they must be pretty.

went to bar. solo danced a lot. i'm really good at dancing. but i'm shy. i'm SURROUNDED by women, there is two women on the left near me shoulder to shoulder the whole time, then two move in front, and two on the right. the one on the left even glances at my face a few times! when the two on the left stood on my side they were open to me and i like feined eye contact and danced a little open to them, but i am shy so i turned away from them and kept turning away and isolating myself the whole time. it's frustrating knowing i catch women's attention and they stand next to me (because i dont scare them away and because they move away from guys who approach them). the women look, feel and smell really nice. it's frustrating. i hate bars. i just experience a lot of negative feelings and thoughts regarding approaching to women because i have rejection, and not sure what i want, and not sure what to make of the women at bars, they are so confusing, i cannot trust them, feel lots of fear/anxiety. i hate going out and approaching and getting rejected, its very stressful, but going out and not approaching is like missing an opportunity, unless the opportunity is not there? most guys come alone and leave alone and barely talk to women at bars and mostly just apporoach and get rejected?

i hate brushing my teeth. good news - got an electric thoothbrush for $30. It cleans awesome!

back a year ago my positive psychology therapist told me to have two goals: to get a job within a year and have sex within a year. i have a job, although it is not perfectly secure yet because i am new there, but what can i do to have sex this year? i can start by cleaning my apartment (well i already cleaned it many times and it keeps going back to a mess when i go to work), i will start by inviting friends over to my apt. from there it will be a small leap to invite women.

Keep it up dude you have some great motivation. You seem to have come along way already just keep the motivation up and your be laughing!

You want sex by the end of the year? check out " The sex got method" by a guy called Daniel really good has helped me out that's for sure.

Keep up the good work!

i read through it quickly. thanks.n it's full of the mantras of pick up like you have to be alpha cuz women are programmed to like it and the rest reads like a male porn fantasy. but it has some good advice in the middle/end of the book, like focus on relaxing and the scenarios and how it says to choose women who want to please and have high sex drive might be worth trying out. i really dont know if its good advice or bad advice cuz i dont have much experience with women.

so i went to a mountain resort for a weekend and i felt great afterward! i really should go outdoors for a saturday or a sat/sun every week for a mental tune up!

i have tried doing yoga once or twice a day and gave up after two days. i want to go to a gym with a swimming pool after work. i will be tired, but it will be good for me.

my neck hair and my hair is untrimmed. looks bad. i let it go because of poor planning before the trip.

i went to the dermatologist and got two creams and face wash. my acne is drying up and falling off, and my face has really cleared up!! why didnt i do this earlier??

i was getting depressed because i have not had fun in two weeks, so i went dancing again. i feel good again.

in group therapy, people are telling me i am arrogant and like a teenagery and dont have empathy and i annoy people/piss them off. the group leader mimicked me in group therapy and it really helped. its so true!! even in sociali dancing girls have told me i am arrogant and i just have trouble listning or believing what the girls say, i just focus 110% on my self and think it is all about me. i dont know how to learn to be more interested in other people, it makes me anxious and id rather not pay attention to others at all, like they dont exist! cuz the fact that they exist or think something makes me anxious and does not register with me.