Well, she is what we like to call in the community as a "hired gun". They have a different mindset on the job, as to their normal selves. They are much more open and accepting to your flirting and such, and while you did good in scoring her number, you need to get past her "working" front and move to the normal woman that she is underneath.

Talk to her about things other than her job, get her to open up about what she is and what she does outside of the casino. Basically, you need to get her comfortable with you before asking her out and such. Attraction building is fine, but to her you're another customer who wants to get into her pants, and you need to separate yourself from that category in her mind.

So, why don't you work on that? In the meantime, search the forum for hired guns and the routines to deal with them. They might be helpful in your case.

Good luck.

_________________
" You're born alone and you die alone and this world just drops a bunch of rules on top of you to make you forget those facts. But I never forget. I'm living like there's no tomorrow, because there isn't one. "

Well, you should. Look, let me be the one to tell you that when it comes to interacting online, a bit more effort is required on your part, to get her comfortable and attracted to you.

If you are already going into the situation with a negative mindset, thinking "Oh! She takes so long! She's not interested." you're handicapping yourself.

You've just met her, man. There is a lot of comfort building still left, as well as the establishment of an easy rapport with her. Keep talking to her. Get her to open up to you. Talking about things which matter, discuss life stories, important events, interesting things around you and her. There is literally, such a big field of things up for discussion. Do that.

And remember, determination is a quality women recognise and respect, very quickly and very much ,in men. If she sees you're determined in your efforts to win her over, you will win her over. It's that simple.

Good luck to you.

And thanks for thinking of me.

_________________
" You're born alone and you die alone and this world just drops a bunch of rules on top of you to make you forget those facts. But I never forget. I'm living like there's no tomorrow, because there isn't one. "

hey man so heres the deal I met this chick at a karoake club on friday night and shes the business a blonde 9 I did everything right although she said she just got out of relationship so I took her number and avoided the K-close (I did'nt just want to be used for revenge sex). so on the way home that night we had this text convo:
me: Hey just texting you so you have my number hope you had a good night xx Dirty.
her: I did have a good night. Hope you did too
then the next day I asked raven to help me out cause I'm used to 1 night stands not lovey dovey texts or relationships at all for that matter, he told me to text her this
"I have to say your cuteness would have to be the second most attractive thing about you. What sort of trouble you been causing today? X"
she hasnt text back and I sent that around 4pm yesterday usually it would'nt bug me but she gave me her real number and I do like her.
so question time! should I just admit that shes blown me off?
should I follow up with another text?
did I make a mistake not going for the k close and I know its afc but can I save this?

_________________
I think that every successful man should have 3 women at his funeral. One that's crying, one that's smiling and one that's buying things on her laptop with his will.

Well, I hate to be the bad guy in the scene but it looks like she must've just handed out her number in one of her post-break up funks and now, must have felt buyer's remorse. Hence, she has not replied.

Also, "did not want to be used for revenge sex"? Seriously, that's a pathetic thing to think of. Sex is a wonderful act, it might be initiated on one ground, it has the potential to end on another different one altogether. Hell, you could've used the post-sex conversation to ask her out and she wouldn't have refused, because of the physical connection between you both. While I admire your effort to come off as the gentleman here, it was misplaced. So, keep that in mind for the future.

Another thing is the message you sent her. It's too cocky, and it's disjointed. You start on one note by talking about her "cuteness" and end up on completely another by asking her "the trouble she has been causing today". Well, I always tell people that when you are seguing into topics, make it appear smooth and seamless. Not a haphazard attempt like your message sounded.

Keep the conversation as normal as possible, but interesting. Don't always need to follow routines to create interest. Remember that.

Good luck.

_________________
" You're born alone and you die alone and this world just drops a bunch of rules on top of you to make you forget those facts. But I never forget. I'm living like there's no tomorrow, because there isn't one. "

I met a girl at the bar Friday. I went home with her and pretty much did everything short of sex that night and in the morning (no condom, doh). That day, Saturday, she texted me wondering if I had left something that she found in her place, which I had not. I teased her about her leaving scratches on my back. Then I text her Tuesday with "hey! I want to hang out, what day works for you?" and I haven't heard back in 24 hours. I am going to leave it alone for awhile and forget about her, maybe she was after a ONS. However, I do want to send her another text at some point.

Question 1: How long should I wait
Question 2: What should I say?

I need a standard text for when a HB does not respond. I ran across this on the forums from David DeAngelo and thought it would be good: "What, playing hard to get already? Nice. Talk to me."

Thanks!
Tinsley

Hey Don

I've read through all your advice so far. Really enjoying what you have to say.

I agree with you 100%. Seems like you promote being direct, being honest, and being truly interested in what the girls have to say/offer in our dealings with them as guys.

Here's my question for you:

I've been talking to this girl for a couple weeks. Met her online. She's new to the area and she lives about an hour away from me.

We'd talked for about a week or so, and I was going to be over near where she lives last weekend so I tried a couple times to call her to see about getting together for some coffee on that Saturday afternoon. She didn't answer either time and so I left general voicemails each time.

She then texted me and let me know that her phone sucks and didn't tell her about her voicemails until a couple days later and asked if she could call me back.

I replied that it was no big deal at all and told her one of my reasons for calling: that I'd be in her area and to see if she'd be down for coffee.

So we met up and had coffee and talked. We were together for about an hour and I was the one who brought it to an end that day...I felt like it went pretty well, nice conversations, no real dry time. She greeted me with a hug. She seemed a little nervous and so I was asking her questions about stuff she knows about/feels comfortable with (career, family, etc) to help her relax.

Anyway, texted her the next day and told her it was great to meet up with her and I had a good time. She replied back and said she had a "good time, too!" She usually responds fairly quickly to texts and she always seems enthusiastic. Never really short responses and doesn't seem bored or disinterested in what she says.

So I tried calling her again yesterday and didn't get her. Didn't leave a voicemail and texted her about a half hour later telling her some of my friends and I were going to a hockey game Thursday night and that I had a couple extra tickets if her and her friend wanted to come along.

I've yet to get a response.

Tuesdays are seemingly busy days for her and I know she takes her career pretty seriously, but she's usually off by around 3.

I've tried to keep things pretty easy-going and casual up to this point, intentionally. Is that a bad idea?

Am I overanalyzing the fact she hasn't responded yet?
What are your thoughts on how frequently you should text a woman?
I don't wanna seem clingy or needy to her by texting her again today about it...or am I worrying too much about that?
This case is hard to see if I need to keep pushing forward or if I need to ease back slightly to not communicate desperation. That's a fine line to walk, I think.

What are your thoughts?

So, help me out here guys.

I'm txting this girl from school, probably she is not interested but I'm doing it anyway, and I need some help

I was in class, she wasn't.And english is not my first language, I live in Brazil.
Me: Boring class, this teacher is even worst than our other one haha
Her: Our power is out since i got home and is not coming back any time soon, I'll die of boredom.
Me: So I think I'll have to go there, because I'm dying of boredom too.Gonna bring some pagode (street music that we play here, kinda vulgar but girls dance to it) so you can shake it haha
Her: Really?Pagode?haha
Me: Yes, I know that you dance, who do you think you are fooling?
Her:Dance where honey?haha, I wish
Me: I'll talk to "name of girl here" to show you some moves, if it doesn't work I'll bring some vodka over in water bottle so you can lose it haha
Her: It's a deal haha
Me: So...You can't dance, what can you do then?

And she didn't answer me =/, I don't think I have a shot, far from it, but this is my first text game, what do you guys think?Did I blew it?

Well, you might be right, if she was in the mood enough to leave scratches on your back, she wanted you in the sack.

Anyway, you need to wait for 3 days without a response to send her a message. If she still doesn't reply by the week's end, it's dust.

Send her something like "Hey, something reminded me of you.." or such. It's an open ended question. It will also make her curious as to what exactly you saw. And if there's enough interest on her side, she will want to know. That will give you your second crack at this girl.

I'd suggest you focus on a bit more comfort and attraction building with her before asking her to "hang out" with you, again.

Good luck. And thanks for thinking of me.

_________________
" You're born alone and you die alone and this world just drops a bunch of rules on top of you to make you forget those facts. But I never forget. I'm living like there's no tomorrow, because there isn't one. "

Well, let's see the coffee date was fine. But, after that point you needed to start going into serious attraction and comfort building with her. You get me?

Deep, long conversations about things which actually matter. Keeping it light and fun, is fine at the start. But after a point, you need to start going into the hard-hitting matters because those are the things that actually matter.

You can text her as much as you want, provided she replies. There should always be a 1:1 (ideally) send/receive ratio in the texts between you and her. Hold your frame. If you can manage that, you can text her whenever you want and talk about whatever you wish.

But won't that make you come off as "needy"? No. 'Cause needy is a state of the mind. If you don't have that state, you won't come off as it. Simple as that.

If you think she's worth the little extra attention, you can give it to her. But, never exceed a 2:1 ratio. Otherwise, it just spells a clear disinterest on one side, and that's never good for anybody.

Don't think so much about it. There is always the chance, that she is actually a bit more work focussed than you'd think.

Good luck. And glad to hear you appreciate what I'm trying to say here.

Cheers!

_________________
" You're born alone and you die alone and this world just drops a bunch of rules on top of you to make you forget those facts. But I never forget. I'm living like there's no tomorrow, because there isn't one. "

Huh?

She just said "It's a deal" which meant she was up for the whole dancing challenge.

I just didn't see the need to fixate on "you can't dance/ you can dance" anymore than you already have. Don't make her think that you have nothing more to talk about other than dancing, because that's just sad. And boring.

Keep a slew of interesting topics in your head, so that whenever you feel that the conversation is dying down or reaching a dead end, you can change it.

No, you didn't blow anything here. Just follow my little pointers. You'll definitely see improvement.

_________________
" You're born alone and you die alone and this world just drops a bunch of rules on top of you to make you forget those facts. But I never forget. I'm living like there's no tomorrow, because there isn't one. "

I had a similar text where a girl told me she missed me and I thought it was weird because I didn't know her very well. This prompted me to respond with.

"really? Why is that"

At first she thought I was being a jerk but I said something along the lines of

"Seriously, what specifically do you miss about me?"

She pretty much sold me to herself and it was easy to get the conversation pretty sexual. I ended up setting up a date with her for the next day. She was already very invested and turned on so the date lasted about 40 minutes before we were back at her place.

_________________
You can't forget about me, stupid. Everywhere I go ima have my own theme music.

Hello Mr.Draper!

What are your thoughts on texting during a freeze out?

Basically, I've been trying to get this girl to invest more into me and start chasing me for once, so I've decided to pull back and freeze her out for a week or two.

The only problem is, we're used to texting/calling each other at least every other day! I'm obviously not initiating any texts, but what do I do when she texts me?

You always say to keep the ratio to 1:1, but how about during a freeze out?

Should I respond to her texts during a freeze out? Or truly freeze her out AKA don't respond to anything?

Well, I'm glad to hear that something worked for you.

Make no mistakes, I am not saying that what I suggest here is the only solution to a give problem. There maybe a number of ways, to go about it. But, I reply with the ones which I specifically tailor to the situation at hand.

Cheers.

_________________
" You're born alone and you die alone and this world just drops a bunch of rules on top of you to make you forget those facts. But I never forget. I'm living like there's no tomorrow, because there isn't one. "

Hello to you too.

Now, you say that you've initiated a "freeze out" on this girl to get her to invest something more in the relationship? Let me first begin by giving you the PUA definition of freeze out :

Quick Definition:

The deliberate but casual ignoring of an HB.

Full Definition:
Freeze outs can occur in set, such as punishing a target HB for bad behavior, and taking all the prior good feelings away and focusing the attention on her friends. It is important that the PUA has established a precedence of good feelings prior the freeze out, so that when it occurs, it feels like the sunshine has gone away, along with him.

Freeze outs may also work regarding ASD/LMR, where the HB hesitates right before sex. Freezing out will take away the good kino feelings, making her want it back. It is important not to be angry or overly emotional during a freeze out, or draw much attention to it at all, which would come across as spiteful or needy.

Usage:

I felt the girl was disrespecting me a bit, so I freezed her out until she started chasing me again.

(all credits to pualingo.com)

Anyway, as you can see, none of that includes a reason for freeze out as "getting her to invest more".

Look, as you already mentioned she texts/calls you, every day! What more do you want from her, marriage? Her responding which such a frequency clearly means that she is in fact interested in this relationship between you two and she spends time on it. I'm assuming she does, indeed call and text you too, on her own and you don't make all the calls.

Now, if you want her to invest in the relationship, start dropping subtle hints about how you're quite fond of her and find her very attractive, how you sometimes think of a relationship with her, how you are a bit more serious about her than you've been anytime recently compared to other women blah blah blah. If you want a woman to get serious about a relationship, you need to show her that you are serious about what's between you both too. It's a two-way street.

So, instead of "freezing her out", try what I suggested and get back to me. And reply to her texts, man. I bet you, she's probably confused as to your sudden non-replying, without any reason too.

Good luck.

_________________
" You're born alone and you die alone and this world just drops a bunch of rules on top of you to make you forget those facts. But I never forget. I'm living like there's no tomorrow, because there isn't one. "

Mr. Draper,
It seems from your postings you advise to begin texting right away and continually (daily) to build comfort and attraction. However, doesn't that go against the whole PUA mindset of not being needy. What is the difference there?

Additionally, and maybe this is a more general question, but when PUA's DHV via text or otherwise isn't that qualifying yourself or is qualifying only applicable when the HB asks a question and the PUA responds with the qualification to that statement?

Thank you,
Tinsley