Okay my gf is lately starting to do stuff that starts to annoy me... When we talk on the phone and I'm not in the best talkative mood she will assume I don't want to talk to her which isn't the case I just don't want to talk. If she texts me a long message goodnight or whatever and I reply with something short she again assumes I don't want to talk to her. Sometimes when she wants to see me and I'm with my friends and tell her I'm busy she will assume I don't want to spend time with her.

It isn't at all the case though. She trusts me, she's not paranoid that I will cheat when I go out. But she assumes all these things and I don't know what to tell her. I didn't respond with "of course I want to see you" etc.. sucking up to it. I just tell her your imagination is overactive. But it is starting to annoy me more and I don't know how to handle it anymore.. Any suggestions?

You're in a good place, believe it or not. The one who cares least, controls the relationship. Right now, she cares a lot more than you do, so you have the power in the relationship. But, how you use it is critical. You need to apply push/pull. It's ok to tell her that her imagination is overactive (push), but every now and then you do have to tell her "of course I want to see you" (pull). If all you do is push, then she will eventually cut her losses and move on.

How long have you guys been dating? I'm going to assume about 6-9 months?

Okay so I just should pull more sometimes since I mostly push... And damn yeah we're 8 months into the relationship..

The reason for her behavior is this:

When a relationship is new, you're in the honeymoon phase. Both partners' interest levels are high and about equal. This generally lasts for 6-12 months, but closer to 6 is more typical.

Then you reach the burnout stage, which is where you are now. During the burnout stage, interest levels begin to decline, but Partner A's interest level will decline more rapidly than or a little earlier than Partner B's. This causes Partner B to become paranoid that Partner A doesn't want to be with them anymore and/or is cheating. As a result, Partner B begins to feel a fear of loss, and their interest level goes way up again. They start to become needy and desperate and pull too much, which causes Partner A's interest to further decline.

From there, there are 4 possible paths:
1. Partner B can realize his/her behavior is needy and pushing Partner A away and consciously stop the behavior.
2. Partner A can reciprocate Partner B's feelings, thus placating his/her worries.
3. Both partners meet somewhere in the middle, and have a healthy, realistic relationship. In which interest levels are not as high as the honeymoon phase, but not as low as the burnout phase.
4. Both partners continue with their interest levels going in opposite directions until they reach the Crash phase and then break up.

Obviously, option 3 is the best. To achieve this, you have to balance push and pull. But you must also make her conscious of her behavior, without making her more paranoid (i.e. "if you keep this up, you're going to push me away) and without giving her the power (i.e. she turns the tables by starting to push, and you become Partner B.)

I understand what you're saying. Thanks a lot for the help.

Much appreciated

I do have one question though, should I talk to her about it? Or just continue push/pull ? Somehow I think talking to her about it will be stupid, but I'm not that experienced in relationships..

I'm exactly in the same situation.

When i cut off the conversation she assumes that i don't want to talk with her, and more of that bullshit.

I try to assure her that it isn't the case, although sometimes i lose my patience.

I have already told her that her insecurities aren't a good thing for our relationship and she seems to understand.

I really think you should adress the issue in general terms.