I'm going to have lunch with a Chinese girl from my uni tomorrow. So far, I haven't been hitting on her, but I want to use the lunch tomorrow to become more flirtatious with her. Should I offer to pay for her lunch? I guess most people in the PUA community would say I shouldn't but I've heard that Chinese girls are very conservative in this. Any ideas?

She's a girl, period. Don't buy for her until after you get the lay. If you are showing you are the nice guy buying the food for her then she will see you as a potential man to date. But that doesn't mean you will get action. Girls have guys they will date and guys they will have sex with. Sometimes at the same time.

I dont get the whole "dont pay for shit" mentality. I mean if I ask a girl out on a date I am going to be a boss and pay for the date. Now, if she offers to pay for something then I am not going to turn it down. Or if we go for drinks I'll get the first round, she can get the second, and if we have a third then I'll get it. But for a diner date, don't be a cheap bastard and pay for her meal.

Thats my thought on the subject

if you're not hitting on her, then you paying doesn't really seem congruent...

Is it just a casual get together? if so, then there's no need to pay. But if both of you know it's a date, and lunch isn't that expensive, then I don't see the harm in paying.

The thing is, going dutch doesn't always go well in college. I can see why after graduation men who take the bill may be perceived as weak and taking value. But girls in college really don't think that much into it. I've had girls who paid for me, but that's because they're very high maintenance, so it's funny. Most of the time, I'm willing to pay, as long as it's not expensive (>$10, I know, I'm cheap).

Go ahead if you wanna be seen as a potential mate that she will sleep with until deep into a relationship. My advice is flirt but don't be the amazing perfect guy she wants to be with in the future. Be the guy she wants to have an amazing time with.

I definitely want to start hitting on her and this lunch is supposed to initiate things for me.

Don't pay till you get laid?????

At least with that advice, you won't be payin' for a while.

Exactly, don't pay til you get laid! Depends if you want action now or in 4 years from her.

Ok, I think you're seriously taking things too hardcore when it comes to dating and attraction.

If you invite a girl out to a romantic setting (like a dinner or lunch) then would you expect her to pay? How would you look if she did? Like a man...?

To avoid all this, you simply don't invite the girl to this kind of settings, but if you did, it's expected that you pay (whether you have hit it or not).

Remember that social interactions are not black and white, and just because Paul janka says that you shouldnt pay for anything until you have sex with a girl, doesn't mean you should do it.

I've been on lunch dates before, and right after our meal, I've banged the chick in my car...I'm pretty sure that anyone with decent game has been through a similar experience.

So, be a bit thoughtful for the future...a lot of people read this forum

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Don't pay.

*wondering how young some of these people are*

As i said hundreds of times, the community does not understand the concept, calibration, are you paying as manipulation and you want her to see you as a nice guy that pays, then no, but in your case unfortunately you have to pay... You are already in a lose lose situation why? because as i have been saying hundreds of times, avoid courtship situation, dinner or dinner and a movie is the traditional american way of courtship in america, will put you in the potential boyfriend zone, more scrutiny, and delay of sex...

through phone, text, chat you got a play it in a way that she knows was sup, you want to fuck her... You are a confident sexual guy with options, then after you fuck the girl is easier to work your way backwards to a relationship. My dates are dancing at a club, or walking by the beach, or coming to my apt. to watch a movie. Unfortunately you will have to pay in this situation, or you will look like a cheap ass...

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Is she actually from China, or western born and raised Asian?

There's a difference.


If she is Chinese. Then pay. It's more meaningful in their culture than ours.

Bull shit, have you seen it when chinks fight over who pays? Lasts hours :S

If anything they'll fight because they want to pay. Actually they don't want to pay, but it's considered saving face to insist that you do (which I think is a ridiculous cultural practice, but it's what happens)


Chinese girls living in western countries accept if you split the bill, because they know enough about our culture to do so. But it's not good Chinese etiquette to take a girl out and then split the bill.