| Thanks Khuram.
1. Over escalation is definitely better. I think calibration is the most important part though, in that you should kino and escalate until you pick-up some sort of cue that she may be getting uncomforatable, in which case you pull back and make her chase you. I think a lot of it depends on your attitude from the moment you meet her, what you can get away with depends on what she expects of you. Personally I'm usually the "Charming asshole." I'll be a little arrogant from the beginning, and push it more and more until she starts to resent me. Then I do a 180 and change my attitude and become friendlier, letting her earn my respect. Once she knows that I'm being nice to her not because I want to get in her pants, but because she's earned my respect by sticking up for herself, that's when I start to escalate physically and build rapport. That's my usual routine at least. Doing it this way, I'm basically taking them on an emotional rollercoaster from the beginning, and within a few hours of the interaction there's already a mutual respect, and I rarely get LMR. I rarely get shit tests, because the girls that I meet know from the beginning that I'll leave if I don't like them, and that their looks aren't enough of a reason for me to respect them or pursue them.
A lot of guys can't get away with that because they've already established themselves as being submissive to a degree in the relationship. By being dominant and "alpha," you can be aggressive and escalate quickly, and even if you get turned down it's not awkward because she knows you don't give a fuck. There's no such thing as awkward moments, only awkward people. Don't ever let yourself become uncomforatable, and you'll find that even girls who turn you down when you escalate initially will end up chasing you when they realize it was their loss, and not yours.
2. You can talk sexually from the very beginning, but it's better to lead the interaction in that direction and guide her into verbalizing it. My favorite way to do that is with a gambit I use at the beginning of every set. It basically goes like this.
"Ok, so every time I meet someone new, I have them tell me one interesting thing about themselves. Most people can't think of anything, or they say something generic and lame. Tell me one thing that makes you different from everyone else. It can be a story that happened when you were younger, or a unique hobby or talent, or even some weird sexual fetish. Doesn't matter, just tell me something."
The way I frame it, the "weird sexual fetish" line is a joke and usually gets giggles. But by including that in there, you're giving her permission to talk about sex. They don't always say something sexual, but girls like talking about sex just as much as guys. The only reason they won't talk about sex in the beginning of the conversation is because it's not socially acceptable, but you can get around that by mentioning sex first without actually asking her to talk about it.
Another way I do it is with the question game. I lead the conversation toward sex by saying, "Tell me something politically incorrect. Doesn't matter what it is, just something that you wouldn't say in polite company." Again, you're not actually being sexual at this point, but when you ask someone to say something politically incorrect, it's almost always sexual. As soon as you get her to admit something or say anything sexual, you can relate with your own stories and gear the conversation in that direction quickly.
3. Don't force yourself on someone who doesn't want to talk to you. I don't know the situation as well as you do, but just because she answers the phone and talks to you doesn't mean she still wants to be a part of your life. To find out, next time you're on the phone with her confront her about it. Tell her that if she doesn't want you to talk to her anymore, you won't call or text her ever again, but make sure she actually means it. If she actually wants to talk to you and tells you, let her know that if she wants to be your friend still she needs to make up her mind and not go back and forth. And if she says no, then just let it go. It's not worth chasing someone who doesn't care about you as much as you care about them.
And for the last question, I got divorced because my wife cheated on me. It was partially my own behavior that triggered it. My ex-wife and I had a great relationship at the beginning, and we were friends for 4 years before we were married, it wasn't just some girl I sarged. But when we got married I made her my entire life. I stopped talking to all my friends since all of them were female, and she was a very jealous person. That was my main mistake. In any relationship you have to have a life outside of the person you're with. They can be the most important person in your life, but they shouldn't be everything. When someone is your entire life, you naturally suffocate them and push them away, which is exactly what I did. I dropped everything I knew and become needy, bought her everything, and made her my only friend.
For anyone in a long-term relationship, it's important to have friends and a life outside of your relationship. In my situation, my ex knew that most of my girl friends wanted to sleep with me, and because of that she tried to keep me from having a social life outside of her. If someone trusts you there's no need for them to be controlling. A lot of guys (and girls) do the same thing, and drop their friends as soon as they get into a serious relationship. And that's almost always the reason the relationship doesn't work out. Right now I'm 4 months into a long term relationship with an Italian model who's bilingual, is a chemistry major in college, and go-go dances. We have an open relationship, have had threesomes together, and can both do whatever we want (Including sleeping with other people) as long as we're honest with each other. I'm not saying everyone should have that type of relationship, but for me it's awesome. My girlfriend and I actually go out to clubs together to pick-up girls. Be jealous...
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