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PostPosted: Mon Oct 03, 2011 2:42 pm 
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New to the forum but have been reading for a little while.

The situation I am in is as follows...my girlfriend broke up with me just before my birthday a few months back and left me for my mate, not too fussed about that anymore but have been speaking to my friend Jen that also has a friend that's also recently been finished by her boyfriend for one of her mates...so that put us in the same boat.

Anyway Jen mentioned me to this girl about 3 weeks ago and said we were in a similar situation. Then just at the weekend Jen was texting her and basically said shall I get him to add you on facebook which she replied with "No harm in him adding me on Facebook!"

So I added her this afternoon and she has now accepted....now my question is, how should I open it up?

Do I go with a "Hey, Thanks for accepting :) Jen was talking about you and suggested I added you. How you doing?" Or any other suggestions would be much appreciated?


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PostPosted: Mon Oct 03, 2011 3:57 pm 
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You don't thank her for accepting you. That is very insecure and needy.

And don't justify you talking to her by saying "Jen suggested I add you." Be a man. You added her because you thought she was cute and wanted to talk to her.

Don't act like she is doing you a favor by adding you or by talking to you. Remember, she just got dumped too, so assume that her self-esteem is just as low as yours right about now, if not lower. But, don't talk about the past relationships with her or provide her any emotional support. If you do that, you will only fall into the friend zone.

Banter with her. If she starts talking about her ex, then tell her you're going to call the bellhop to carry her baggage to her room.


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PostPosted: Mon Oct 03, 2011 4:00 pm 
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Cheers for the reply, can definitely see exactly where you're coming from.

Any suggestions on what I should use as a first message? I'm pretty crap at thinking up the first message but not too bad once the conversation gets going...

Also when do you think I should send her the message? I was maybe thinking leave it a day or so?


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PostPosted: Mon Oct 03, 2011 6:46 pm 
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Any suggestions guys?


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PostPosted: Tue Oct 04, 2011 4:51 am 
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I'd say something like "Jen told me you were supposed to be really cool... prove that she's right!"


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PostPosted: Tue Oct 04, 2011 11:46 am 
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Well, I don't want to say that others opinion are incorrect but I just want to say about my opinion. As per me you should thank her and also ask for her health.

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PostPosted: Tue Oct 04, 2011 7:06 pm 
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Quote:
I'd say something like "Jen told me you were supposed to be really cool... prove that she's right!"
That could work. I might reword it though to something more like: "Hey, Jen tells me you're a cool chick... Is she right?"

Then if she replies and says that, yes, she is cool, you can make her qualify herself by asking something like "So what's so cool about you?"


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PostPosted: Thu Oct 06, 2011 9:49 am 
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Right well, I ended up going with a slightly different approach, not the best but would like some feedback - negative or positive. Here is the convo so far:
Quote:
Me - Hey there, you must be Beth :-) how you doing? x

Her - Hi Michael :)
I'm doing great thanks, what about yourself? X

Me - I'm really good cheers :) Have you been up to much lately? I saw some of your pics on your horses, you look really good! Have you been riding long? x

Her - Not a lot to be honest. Just been meeting up with friends. Mainly waiting around for my new car. Evans Halshaw are useless! Lol
Aw thank you :) I've been riding since I was little but got my first pony at 12. I was looking through some your photos too. I absolutely love you motorbike! My dad has quite a few so I love them. X

Me - Ohh what car are you getting? Bet you can't wait! Car dealers are so slow though aren't they. So do you have many horses now then? Aww thanks, I love motorbikes, although you're the first horse rider I've ever spoke to that likes us bikers haha, we are normally hated by you :P! Have you ever been out on the back of your Dads bikes? x

Her - I'm getting the megane coupe. We ordered it the first week of August. I've been given several dates and still haven't got it. I've been told I'll have it tomorrow but I'm not getting my hopes up!
I've got three horses now but that's it. Three's enough to look after! Haha.
It's not the bikes that bother me when I'm hacking out it's usually the riders. But I haven't come across many ignorant bikers ... Yet! Lol
I used to always be on the back of dads bike but I haven't been on for quite a while. I'd love my own but my brother had an accident 3 years ago so I doubt I'll be allowed one! X

Me - That'll be lovely!! Is it brand new? My fingers are crossed for you that it turns up tomorrow :) God yeah I can imagine 3 horses are lots to look after, I've got 2 parrots and they take enough looking after as it is let alone horses! lol. Do you ride them every day?
Yeah most bikers are pretty decent slowing down for horses, but you do get the occasional silly one. Aww no really sorry to hear about your bro, what happened to him, is he alright? You should definitely get a bike if you're allowed, you can be a biker chick then and join us on rides :P lol. You been up to much tonight? x

Her (after one day of not messaging)- Sorry for the late reply, Facebook on my phone isn't telling me when I have a message.
I've never met anyone with a parrot before! I'm not 100% with birds but that sounds quite cool actually.
My brothers doing ok now. Someone pulled out in front of him and he went straight into the side of the car and flew over the roof. We're very lucky to have him here. He's got a partial metal arm so he's a bit like the terminator now! Lol
I'd love a bike of my own but that's slightly scared me off. X
Any suggestions on how I should continue from here? I feel a bit like I'm asking too many questions, but I seem to be getting good lengthy replies...?


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PostPosted: Thu Oct 06, 2011 11:45 am 
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Possible reply I was thinking of:
Quote:
The parrots are awesome, can be a little cheeky at times but can’t we all! You’ve never met me before though so can’t claim that, just yet! :P lol.
Glad your brothers getting better now, at least he can claim to have a metal arm though, that is pretty cool lol. My worst nightmare is some stupid car driver pulling out on me and getting the “I just didn’t see you” off them. Does he still ride bikes after all of that?
Was chuffed for you to see that you finally got your car yesterday, bet you’re so happy with it? It looks really good!! You chose the best colour too, I’m impressed :) You been driving it much yet? xx
Suggestions much appreciated?


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PostPosted: Fri Oct 07, 2011 6:23 am 
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good advise :D


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PostPosted: Fri Oct 07, 2011 8:40 am 
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id just say,

"thanks for accepting, lets see if there is a personality behind that pretty face"


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