what to do after the opener? Social comfort



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PostPosted: Mon Oct 03, 2011 10:14 am 
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So you have opened them(i have discussed openers in the approach section). Now what?
The way i game, building social comfort is the next step after opening. I do not follow, open and attract model because that is just fucked up and have very low success rate.
So step two is building social comfort, basically as you open and before you can start building attraction. You have to make the girl or group of people comfortable talking to you and that doesnt mean that they are attracted to you, it doesnt mean that they want to be your best friend, it doesnt mean that they want to buy you shots. It means that if i came up and asked them, immediately after talking to you, they would say that you seem like a nice guy, you seem cool. You dont have an agenda, you are not putting pressure on them , you are not awkward, you are not weird, you are not searching for validation, you are not bragging, or doing any of the things that socially are faux-pass.
You can find a lot of resources for social comfort by google and sinn's blog.
Here we are going to talk about 5 of the best techniques for building and maintaining social comfort.
Number One
is learning to use questions and statements. And when it comes to questions, they are like money in the bank early on. You dont want to ask questions that dont lead to anything. And when you ask a question, you have to follow up with something good. So for example if i ask a girl that where she is from, i am only going to do that because i am going to follow it up with something. Like i might tease her on where she is from, or i might use this question to relate to her and tell her something that i know about there, or ask her questions about there, i might even use it to tell a story, but i am never going to ask a question and hope that the girl gives me something to talk about because thats putting the conversational burden on them, and you approached them, they didnt approach you so the burden of keeping the conversation fun and interesting is on you, not on them. You can turn your questions into statements. For example intsead of asking a girl where she is from, i am going to say,"omg! You are totally from orange country" or i might say," you are going to college for communication" or "let me guess, hmmm, you are trying to find a rich husband at the club and this way, turning questions into statements makes them powerful and doesnt make you a social leech.
NUMBER TWO
Current events, knowing about things that are going on locally, at the bar, down the street from the bar, around the bar, or things that are going on nationally, stay away from politics and religion. Obviously things like sports, local happenings, big movies, or t.v shows are great topics. Having wealth of information about things that are current and powerfull will really give you stuff to talk about to build that social comfort thats kinda superficial level of getting to know people.
NUMBER THREE
Relating. The process of learning to relate to other people and emphatise and spin off their points is really powerfull in social comfort. People will give you a lot to work with but you gotto know how to turn that around and do something that you can talk about to take pressure of them. And so that it doesnt become an interview and relating is the kind of art of taking things that people say and relating it to yourself so that you can do number 4 skill that is, grounding.
NUMBER FOUR
Grounding is basically talking about yourself, your experiences, in a way that that lets people kind of know what you are about. All the things that are daily part of our lives help people get an idea of what kind of person you are and build familarity and grounding is a big part of that, talking about yourself, the way you want to talk about yourself in the begning, to make yourself seem down to earth and making it so that they can understand where you come from and what kind of person you are.
NUMBER FIVE
And lastly, conversations ratio. In the begning you want to talk about 75 percent of the time to their 25 percent. 90/10 rule is a little extreme
so opened and build social comfort, next step is to break rapport and i may write a thread about it.
Hope you enjoyed the post and learnt from it

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PostPosted: Tue Oct 04, 2011 8:39 am 
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Great post mate.

Just one question, obviously I dont want to qualify myself to them unless they ask me. Any tips on making them qualify themselves without sounding like a complete dictator?

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PostPosted: Tue Oct 04, 2011 9:21 am 
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1. Get a list of qualities that you want in a woman.
2. Keep them in your mind
3. After you have some some attraction and comfort, start qualifying.
4. Don't ask qualification questions back to back, spread them in your conversation.
5. For qualification, you don't just have, "i like girls who are a good cook. Are you?"
you can also make it more sublte like
"i like girls who are good cook"
"i think you may not be a good cook(and then they may qualify themselves)"
or you can do forced qualification. An example of forced qualification would be
double bind.
Thats where you give some one two option, one frames them as good and other frames them as bad,
"are you a good cook or do you suck?"
i hope that answers your question

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PostPosted: Tue Oct 04, 2011 10:12 am 
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Quote:
Great post mate.

Just one question, obviously I dont want to qualify myself to them unless they ask me. Any tips on making them qualify themselves without sounding like a complete dictator?
making assumptions about them can help, or simply stating standards, but the more secure and less attracted to you the person is, the less they will feel the need to qualify themselves to you, and if you simply request and there is no attraction, they will avoid the question most likely, with I DONNO, or something along those lines, unless they are very polite but the bigger the investment in the qualifier the more likely they abandon ship (what you got going on for you, besides your looks that would make me want to get to know you a little better, etc.)

just like how compliance builds momentum, so does qualification, and approval seeking behavior patterns, the less you do it, and the more they do it....

the less you will do it, and the more they will do it, and the admiration grows

assumptions and opinons would be stated like

I BET YOU'RE THE KIND OF GIRL WHO BLAH BLAH BLAH
(she qualifys for you this is pretty good, she says no, get some work done, this is also usefull because you can throw her into the kind of frames you want to see involved in the interaction)

I LIKE GIRLS WHO BLAH BLAH BLAH
(she qualifys for you, good sign, once it starts just build momentum, reward the good behavior)


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PostPosted: Thu Oct 13, 2011 8:09 am 
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With Mid-game, what are good routines in terms of sustaining attention?

Ideas of top of my head:
current events
psychic ploys
handwriting analysis
hand reading
talking about a cool jewelry item
nutrition facts
herbal facts
Pot/Mary Jane facts
magic tricks
cool stories about yourself
cool stories about your friends
cool information about the clothes they are wearing
cool information (period)


anything else?

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PostPosted: Thu Oct 13, 2011 8:34 am 
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the gaming style that the author has is somewhat a mixture of afc adam, john sinn and captain jack. The most effective techniques of all the methods have been picked up to form a new method.
In my opinion this is a great method and in this method the mid game part of the game consists of grounding (giving girl the info that she needs to sleep with you) getting to know the girl, setting sexual frames (so that her objections to sex are taken care of and she can be comfortable having sex with you), uleashing her sexual side (that deals with self images and sub-images. Here we unleash the sexual side of the women)
so there is a lot in mid game and you dont need to worry about the topics. The techniques that i mentioned above pretty much cover the mid game


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PostPosted: Thu Oct 13, 2011 8:47 am 
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unfortunately the author of this got banned and hope to see him with us again as he is not only a good player but also my friend and room mate. One more thing that i want to give you and that just flashed through my mind is the conversation model. I hope it would help you with conversational topics. And that is after you get into conversation with any girl there are just three topics,"me, her, us" and its called, "me,her,us model" what that means is whole time either you will be talking about her, or you will be talking about you or you will be talking about both of you. Any topic that has nothing to do with you, her or both of you is to be avoide to make the attraction, comfort and escalation process faster


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PostPosted: Thu Oct 13, 2011 9:06 am 
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Thanks for info Mad... I'll look more into it for sure

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PostPosted: Fri Oct 14, 2011 4:56 pm 
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Great posts in here for sure.

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PostPosted: Sat Oct 15, 2011 4:07 pm 
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indeed. My opening and hooking the set rate skyrocketed after putting this information into practice. It was my freedom from mystery method and bad results

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