I'm here to tell you the bullshit PUAs have said in all ways possible and why it is not true.

Mystery is probably the first self-titled and father of PUAs. His theory is based on a sense of being superior and tries to explain it with a evolutionnary theory. He says that Leaders emerged in early man and women were attracted to him because he was acting superior and it is why women are wired like that in the modern days. I will tell you why this is totally untrue. For most of human evolution, we were hunter-gatherer bands. It is a scientific consensus that hunter-gatherer bands were EGALITARIAN and thus LEADERLESS. When they wanted to make a decision, it was based on unanimity and cooperation, often the elders simply shared their knowledge. Also, it is proven that many(and thus maybe all) hunter-gatherer bands SHARED THEIR WOMEN. No monogamy, no jealousy, no superiority.

Now we can talk about superiority and Situationnal confidence. Narcissics over the world develop what i call situationnal confidence. They are confident when they are in a certain state. This state is how they feel superior. Often, it is for males being muscular, having the coolest hairstyle and expensive cloths. For women it is having curves, showing them, makeup and like males having the best cloths and haistyles. When in this state, they feel confident and superior. In mystery, this state is obvious. He talks about standing out of the crowd, he wears makeup, high heels, aviation gogles, pimp hats and the like. Anyone who read the game knows however that this is just a show and that mystery is miserable inside.

As a sidenote, a lot of narcissics have their states in their minds and don't have to dress a certain way. they can be intelligence narcissists, racial, athletic or any other thing, the main factor of narcissics is that they feel superior because of a state they get in, their situationnal confidence state.

The thing about this state is it makes you JUDGEMENTAL because obviously the people who aren't like you must be inferior. Ironically, situationnal confidence is a vicious circle that keeps telling you're mind that you only are socially acceptable in a certain state. While you can be successful socially if you are ALWAYS in that state, it is shallow(this is shown by most narcissics having other mental problems). Also, Mysterys and other PUAs train in club, where most women are narcissic. It is thus evident that they created a strategy to emulate narcissism and work with that personality type.

Real confidence is being in sync with your mind. Not having statements in your mind that are antithesis to each other. Knowing who you are and the way you want to take with your life. This confidence comes with a feeling of happiness, commitment and of being whole.

Of course, nobody's perfect. Some people really are pitiful. It doesn't mean you are superior. Everybody has the power in theirselves, their genes, to become charisma avatars or at the other end of the spectrum serial killers. Some people are pitiful because they have not found their way, ie they are not in sync mentally. Aggressives, antisocials, passive-aggressives, avoidants are all people who haven't found their way and have mental problems, i don't deny however that they can have situationnal confidence. They are pitiful, yes, inferior, no. Pity is an empathic response.

So here are my two advices to everyone:
Be in sync,
Pity the fools.

your post is a contradiction in its self

So here are my two advices to everyone:
Be in sync,
Pity the fools.



you forgot, the 3rd advise which is follow your advise and never get laid...

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Confidence is extremely attractive. But Confidence alone won't get you girls.

To the Original Poster:

Please INTRODUCE YOURSELF before posting.

Mod

Introduction: Well I'm somebody that read a lot and tought a lot about the theory. In this area of my life I'm pretty perfectionnist and I don't accept made-up pseudoscience theory, like most of what PUAs throw at you. I often try to make my own theories and I test them socially only to find it wasn't it.

Some shit in my post was made by me but narcissism is a known social disorder and it's a psychology consensus that narcissists lack confidence but they hide it. Being in sync with your mind is behavioral therapy.

I agree that pitying others is not the right way to say what you're attitude should be. It's just that I try to put feelings into words and it didn't work out. I'll try to describe the attitude in another way. It's definatly an empathic attitude, an attitude that almost says "I know what you think but it's just not that."

And if your looking for credantials, when I do get this attitude people instantly notice me, I become a social magnet. For example at a Bus station, 95% of people will look at me and change their emotionnal state.
It's not acting superior or nice, it's acting empathic like you could say your deepest secrets to others, they would nod and tell you theres and you'd start a big relation from there even if you don't know them.
It almost seems like ross jeffries stuff but without "anchor words" or "hypnotic sequences of speech", only communicating emotions through my body language.
When I'm in that state i can talk about any subject and make the conversation more intense, so intense I look at the other person and I find them actually trying to stop their tears from flowing.
When i think about how people react to me in that state I'm often afraid of how powerful it is. When I realized i could make people cry by talking to them about things that aren't sad(I mean i'm not insulting them or anything) I was like: you are freaking kidding me.
After that what I found was that in that state, any persons I was interracting with were slowly shifting their mood to mine. One time I was in it and started to get bored, so a reaction you could have expected from others was to try to be more interresting, they instead all swapped to a bored mood and it was even more boring.
Another thing, in that state people open me. I was so impressed by this the first time a girl sat next to me and said: "Hi!" I was taken aback. People also overapologize, I don't get the neutral: pardon me, or sorry, now it's: "Oh geez I'm sorry!" and "Oops!". And then I wonder why they are so sorry, after all it was not their fault they were blocking the way in a crowded bus.
Sometimes people laugh when I say things that aren't funny.

Anyway the goal of my post is not to rant. It's that I think no one in the community really gets it, they have parts of the truth and then extrapolate the rest to make a book. And then you're out for yourself trying to get what is true from what is not.

So what I think is the way to relate and create bonds is by being in a state where you have nothing to hide from your mental state. You don't emulate emotions depending on who's there. And like yoda said, there is no try. You either are true to yourself and others or you aren't(trying too hard). There's no wonder why I make people cry in that state. It's because when I'm true to myself I start feeling an intense feeling of being helpless. Not helpless in an "I'm pathetic and I cannot do anything" kindof way, but helpless because of the social pressure of society, being helpless because I mean nothing(to society) in this sea of people. And then because of this feeling i feel frustration. So I'm sure a lot of you guys heard this somewhere and it sounds cliche but I couldnt be more guenine, but now back to what is really interresting about this:

The easiest way for me to access the state is by feeling angry at the world. Again this is the state where I'm no longer socially invisible. The state brings me a feeling of wellbeing because I'm in sync with myself, even if this true self is kinda deppressing. This may sound paradoxal and it probably is. But the fact is, when I access this state, it's like the social pressure go away. Maybe it go through different stages which would be: Helplessness+frustration>wellbeing. How I can explain it is by being really yourself your brain rewards you with dopamine.

So here we are at the cheesiest solution to the social answer possible: "being yourself". Everyone heard it, most don't get it and others reject it, because I think less than 1% of people are their true self.

Let's face it, how many people do you see everyday that doesn't have a social persona but is his true self? Intelligent people acting stupid, weak people acting strong. Even those convinced that being yourself is the answer, they will most likely be shy and act nice.

So, take 2, Be in sync and while in sync communicate empathically.

Not saying you will become a master hypnotist/seducer instantly but if you get the state right you'll be surprised and I think it's the best start you can get.

I'm sorry if the post lacks structure but I was writing it as I was thinking it, like an essay. Like a monologue with no revision. But anyway I hope you get something out of it.

Well good... But I was referring to the section called introduce yourself. We have a little rule saying that in order to post on the forum, you must post an introduction there...