One-itis?



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M2
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PostPosted: Sat Oct 01, 2011 12:24 am 
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Well she may not be 100% IN LOVE with the current guy, or may not see a future, or not completely happy with him, but you got a keep doing what you are doing and wait on the sidelines, or mind fuck her subtle, in a way she does not know what you are doing to get rid of that guy and that she should be with you... But is kind of complicated...You can even mess with her while with the guy, but in some cases backfires, if she feels guilty and blames it on you, if a break up happens.
She isn't happy- at all- the guy is a douche- she's just there and she isn't pleased with where her life is either. I got the feeling she was starting to replace his mental image with mine- but like I said- I started feeling one-itis creeping in- so I had to cut my losses for now- I am sure we'll talk again though. No fucking clue what her response means- but oh well.

If he is jealous of you, he knows what you know, that she likes you, forgot that, hes jealousy will work to your advantage.(edit to the post) UNDER NO CIRCUMSTANCES TALK BAD ABOUT HER BOYFRIEND, BITE YOUR TONGUE, no douche talk or whatever to her or her female, male friends.... That will bring her to him... keep doing what you are doing! why you want to back of, no man, keep doing what you are doing, you may be the replacement.
Yeah- thats part of Harmless's bf destroyer- you make him seem better than he is- if you talk shit it reinforces him and makes her defensive. I stopped talking shit on him months ago----I guess we'll see what happens.
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skills360
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PostPosted: Sat Oct 01, 2011 12:36 am 
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unfortunately it is just normal to grow fond of people we have invested time/emotions with, ever notice how the best friends you have had, over a long period of time, it is like you will forgive them for almost anything and you don't care, you might get pissed off with them, but eventually you are just like ahh fuck it, it's XYZ hes been my friend since we were 5, he was probably just kicked in the balls that day who cares
Yeah- I get ya- just---I don't know, I've always had sort of a low grade crush on her- but for the last year I sort of disqualified her on my own for various reasons and only looked at her as a friend, and now this behavior shift is starting to get more pronounced---something is going on with her. Just seems so strange....the fact that I notice makes me think about her, and then thats when all the thoughts I bury come tumbling back out...and I think she has noticed that I notice...

I got two options:

Run serious boyfriend destroyer and commit to it---which I already kind of half ass do...I use her as a wing/pivot, practice game on her (she knows I'm a PUA and thinks my routines are fun) run the Harmless routine...but to really focus it? No. I haven't yet.

or

Go way off the grid- the problem with this is she notices and wants to talk and hang out and such---I'd be fine not talking for a month or more- she however only last 3 or 4 days at the most sometimes less. And then if I keep ignoring her she tells my friends to tell me to pay attention to her. lol She has done that- literally. The fucked up thing about this is- she's started mirroring my behavior- she'll yack my ear off then, once she finally has my attention (which she normally works for) she'll drop it like a hot potato- it's like we're gaming each other! LOL Which is something else she has NEVER done in the two years I've known her.

What a fucking mess.
she has known you for a long time, and already knows what you are like, she already knows if she likes you, and if she does she knows if it is more then the boyfriend, why don't you just tell her how you feel, and tell her it is tough to be around her, then let her know that if she is single you would be interested in seeing her, could never hurt and she will certainly not hate you for being honest, in the end it is totally up to you, there are a ton of ways you could go about this,


no no no! don't do this...Pumpignton come on... What happened? who took your log in and password, lol...

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pumpington
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PostPosted: Sat Oct 01, 2011 8:18 am 
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Yeah- I get ya- just---I don't know, I've always had sort of a low grade crush on her- but for the last year I sort of disqualified her on my own for various reasons and only looked at her as a friend, and now this behavior shift is starting to get more pronounced---something is going on with her. Just seems so strange....the fact that I notice makes me think about her, and then thats when all the thoughts I bury come tumbling back out...and I think she has noticed that I notice...

I got two options:

Run serious boyfriend destroyer and commit to it---which I already kind of half ass do...I use her as a wing/pivot, practice game on her (she knows I'm a PUA and thinks my routines are fun) run the Harmless routine...but to really focus it? No. I haven't yet.

or

Go way off the grid- the problem with this is she notices and wants to talk and hang out and such---I'd be fine not talking for a month or more- she however only last 3 or 4 days at the most sometimes less. And then if I keep ignoring her she tells my friends to tell me to pay attention to her. lol She has done that- literally. The fucked up thing about this is- she's started mirroring my behavior- she'll yack my ear off then, once she finally has my attention (which she normally works for) she'll drop it like a hot potato- it's like we're gaming each other! LOL Which is something else she has NEVER done in the two years I've known her.

What a fucking mess.
she has known you for a long time, and already knows what you are like, she already knows if she likes you, and if she does she knows if it is more then the boyfriend, why don't you just tell her how you feel, and tell her it is tough to be around her, then let her know that if she is single you would be interested in seeing her, could never hurt and she will certainly not hate you for being honest, in the end it is totally up to you, there are a ton of ways you could go about this,


no no no! don't do this...Pumpignton come on... What happened? who took your log in and password, lol...
he can stick around her, but just throwing the hail mary and letting her know he cant be around her because he likes her, can be an interesting play, girls are like monkies, they don't let go of one branch until they have a hold of another, just be the next branch, you can b/f destroy all day, and just escalate but that could piss her off and ruin the friendship anyways, and it seems m2 is fond of this girl (they have known each other for 2 years) , the way i suggested you could just throw it out there tell her you cant be around her because you like her too much and just keep thinking about kissing her, (this way she can't use the, but i want to keep you as a friend, defense, just make sure that you make it clear you can't be around her either way as a friend anymore, so she is forced to make a descision), if that doesn't work out, he can just go back to being her friend in about 2 weeks or so, she gets her validation, and they go back to being friends and he at least gave it a shot and she isn't pissed off that he tried to escalate on her, after knowing her for more then a year even after he knows she has a boyfriend (could work, or could fail in an epic way, if you don't care about keeping her, then just b/f destroy isolate and escalate)
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M2
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PostPosted: Sat Oct 01, 2011 8:46 am 
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he can stick around her, but just throwing the hail mary and letting her know he cant be around her because he likes her, can be an interesting play, girls are like monkies, they don't let go of one branch until they have a hold of another, just be the next branch, you can b/f destroy all day, and just escalate but that could piss her off and ruin the friendship anyways, and it seems m2 is fond of this girl (they have known each other for 2 years) , the way i suggested you could just throw it out there tell her you cant be around her because you like her too much and just keep thinking about kissing her, (this way she can't use the, but i want to keep you as a friend, defense, just make sure that you make it clear you can't be around her either way as a friend anymore, so she is forced to make a descision), if that doesn't work out, he can just go back to being her friend in about 2 weeks or so, she gets her validation, and they go back to being friends and he at least gave it a shot and she isn't pissed off that he tried to escalate on her, after knowing her for more then a year even after he knows she has a boyfriend (could work, or could fail in an epic way, if you don't care about keeping her, then just b/f destroy isolate and escalate)
I would agree- and that's exactly what I did- not sure of the result as-of-yet. Odd response thus far- but that's what appeals to me about it. Thats all I could do at this point. It does remind me of something I read recently:

"That which depends on me I can do, that which depends on others I can neither control or predict" The Art of War- Sun Tzu

and this was further reinforced by something else I read:

"God grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference." --Reinhold Niebuhr

This was about all I could do; and I own myself and choices. It's a tactical decision and strategic retreat. Sure I put my cards on the table, but so what, maybe she'll ante-up. If not, I played the hand I wanted to.

Good stuff from both of you- thanks for the help!
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skills360
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PostPosted: Sat Oct 01, 2011 3:42 pm 
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I do not like the logistics... My reasoning is these 2 things, even though it does not apply to m2 100%, but just the why i do not like it!

MISTAKE #2: Trying To “Convince Her To Like You"

What do most guys do when they meet a woman that they REALLY like... but she's just notinterested? Right! They try to "convince" the woman to feel differently.

Well, I have news for you... YOU WILL NEVER CHANGE HOW A WOMAN "FEELS" WHEN IT COMES TO ATTRACTION! Never, ever, EVER. You cannot CONVINCE a woman to feel differently about you with "logic and reasoning". Think about it.

If a woman doesn't "feel it" for you, how in the world do you expect to change that FEELING by being "reasonable" with her? But we all do it. When a woman just isn't interested, we beg, plead, chase, and do our best to change her mind. Bad idea. One that will never work.

MISTAKE #5: Sharing “How You Feel” Too Early In The Relationship With Her

Another huge and unfortunate mistake that most men make with women is sharing how they "feel" too early on. Attractive women are rare. And they get a LOT of attention from men. Most men don't realize this, but attractive women are being approached in one way or another ALL THE TIME.

An attractive woman is often approached several times a DAY by men who are interested. This translate into dozens of times per week, and often HUNDREDS of times per month.

And guess what? Attractive women have usually dated a LOT of men. That's right. They have EXPERIENCE. They know what to expect. And one thing that turns an attractive women off and sends her running away faster than just about anything is a guy who starts saying "You know, I really, REALLY like you" after one or two dates.

This signals to the woman that you're just like all the other guys who fall for her too fast... and can't control themselves.

Don't do it. Lean back. Relax. There's a much better way...

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M2
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PostPosted: Sat Oct 01, 2011 3:47 pm 
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I am not sure either rule is applicable-

I didn't rush, I've known her for two years! LOL And- I have never once tried to convince her to like me- ever. Matter-of-fact until I told her I made sure she knew we were just friends. I never will- it's a form of begging, either she does or doesn't. However in the past I have made these mistakes with other women. That said- fuck it- if it takes a bold move to get things moving then I got no problem trying for it- if it doesn't happen, then I still have my friend. If it does happen I have a friend and lover. Either way- I stopped caring- not a damn thing I could do at this point- no sense in worrying.


Fortune favors the bold- Virgil.


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pumpington
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PostPosted: Sat Oct 01, 2011 3:56 pm 
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she has known you for a long time, and already knows what you are like, she already knows if she likes you, and if she does she knows if it is more then the boyfriend, why don't you just tell her how you feel, and tell her it is tough to be around her, then let her know that if she is single you would be interested in seeing her, could never hurt and she will certainly not hate you for being honest, in the end it is totally up to you, there are a ton of ways you could go about this,
did not suggest he try to convince her, just suggested he tell her how he feels, put an offer on the table, and withdraw, forcing her, if she has feelings for him, to make a power move and ditch the boyfriend, if she likes the boyfriend more this will accomplish nothing, if she doesn't like him more, he can just come back after a few weeks of testing the waters, know that she just wants to be friends, she gets her validation, he can remain friends, friendship is not ruined, and at least he knows where he stands
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skills360
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PostPosted: Sat Oct 01, 2011 4:06 pm 
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I am not sure either rule is applicable-

I didn't rush, I've known her for two years! LOL And- I have never once tried to convince her to like me- ever. Matter-of-fact until I told her I made sure she knew we were just friends. I never will- it's a form of begging, either she does or doesn't. However in the past I have made these mistakes with other women. That said- fuck it- if it takes a bold move to get things moving then I got no problem trying for it- if it doesn't happen, then I still have my friend. If it does happen I have a friend and lover. Either way- I stopped caring- not a damn thing I could do at this point- no sense in worrying.


Fortune favors the bold- Virgil.

M2 did you see that i wrote it does not apply to you, i was trying to tell pumpigton why i do not like the logistics behind his advise...The psycology of why i kind of not like it, even though IT DOES NOT APPLY TO YOU!

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M2
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PostPosted: Sat Oct 01, 2011 5:11 pm 
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M2 did you see that i wrote it does not apply to you, i was trying to tell pumpigton why i do not like the logistics behind his advise...The psycology of why i kind of not like it, even though IT DOES NOT APPLY TO YOU!
Ok cool- gotcha now. Well if anything changes Ill let you guys know-
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kbird
 Post subject: Re: One-itis?
PostPosted: Sat Jun 15, 2013 2:24 am 
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resurrecting dead thread. but my point is more relevant to the subject matter than this particular instance

when your 85, looking back on life will you think:

"thank god I decided to say FUCK IT! lifes short, im gonna just go for the kiss and follow my heart"
or
"thank god I decided to play it safe and didnt make myself look a bit silly trying to kiss a friend"

... i know which decision I would take.
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