Coping with failure - looking for advice



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PostPosted: Fri Sep 30, 2011 6:23 am 
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New to MPUA Forum

Joined: Thu Sep 08, 2011 8:48 am
Posts: 2
Hi everyone,

For the past few weeks, I've been going out once in a while and trying to put into practice the skills I've learned from my reading the information here and in related books. In truth, I'm still very much an amateur in this field, and my past few attempts have truly illustrated this fact to me. I've only recently been legally allowed to drink, so I've been trying to go out to social venues like bars and clubs to meet socially active women for the first time (in this setting), but so far I've been unsuccessful in getting any further than talking.

It's a bit of a downer, and for my own sanity's sake, I have to believe that this is part of being new to the game, and that I am not alone in going through this phase. But even still, it's starting to bruise my ego, and I want to be able to say to myself that this is simply just part of learning. Is it possible that failure is a necessary part of learning? Do I simply need to be persistent and not let these failures get me down? What is the best way to cope with failure, in the sense that my game was not up to par?

Any and all input is welcomed, and I encourage all those in my position, as well as those who can offer any insight on how to overcome this feeling of dejection, to please share their thoughts. It's starting to become a real let down, and I want to know as much as I can to make an informed decision before simply giving up and resigning myself to loneliness.

Thanks in advance,
Dayvan


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PostPosted: Fri Sep 30, 2011 10:26 am 
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PUA Forum Leader

Joined: Sat Oct 02, 2010 8:36 pm
Posts: 1253
There is lots to pick up then simply routines, and lines... and these things takes time to develop. Is a long journey. My first lay was not until a year.

You have to go out constantly and practice. Become confident.


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PostPosted: Fri Sep 30, 2011 2:07 pm 
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Joined: Sun Sep 12, 2010 9:26 am
Posts: 371
Location: england
I have been in pua 1 year monday night i fucked it up with a girl i was realy keen on even though i hardly knew her oneitis maybe i never fclosed her but was extremley close got a bj an that.
She was a good lookin girl before pua she was out of my league infact this is the best girl looks wise iv got on well with an had a good time with not realy nervous.

I made a few silly mistakes like asking her out on date 2 ):
sending a long pointless text message an nothin was realy wrong just me getting insecure.

Now dont get me wrong im devastated about this girl an im not fully over her an its realy bloody hard an i never even fclosed her.
But guess what will i ever make them same mistakes again HELL NO so therefor i learned much more than reading 10 books with just 3 dates.

in field is the only way to learn this girl even though she doesnt no it has givin me the belief i can attract good lookin girls who drive me about.
rejection is all part of becoming good you learn from it an hopefully never do it again.

_________________
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PostPosted: Fri Sep 30, 2011 3:51 pm 
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Joined: Sat Jul 02, 2011 4:37 am
Posts: 3276
here are some ideas for you, they might change your perspective on things,

go out during the day, not the night, you will experience the wonderful effect of lowered bitch shields and women that don't have the attention span of a goldfish,

next step, go direct, make sure you just from the very start, be honest, and express your full intentions, tell them what you think of them, why you are talking to them, do not do it to pick them up, or to impress them, do it to express your feelings,

make sure you open with eye contact, just say hi, stop them somehow (preframe works well, this might sound weird etc.) then begin expressing yourself directly, when you start the 1st few times are nerve wrecking, just do it anyways, if you don't know what to say, say exactly that, exactly what is on your mind, that is all you have to do, just say what you are thinking, your interaction could go like this and you could still close

*eye contact is made you approach with no hesitation and do not break eye contact*

you:hi, this might sound... sort of weird... but, I just saw you, and you're kinda... cute... I just wanted to meet you
her:ok thanks *medium face not showing to much happiness more of a confused look*
you:you know what i love about you.... you have this.... really, funny, normal look, its like... wow i just farted... or something,
her: thanks... (this time cracks slight smile but is trying not to)
you:you must be from egypt
her:no, are you drunk or something?
you:no... just nervous, look at my hands (shows hands they are shaking)
*awkward pause for about 20 seconds while holding eye contact no one talks*
you:well i don't even know what to say, i want to hang out with you some day next week, whats your number?
her:*gives number*
you:well i gtg, it was cool meeting you

seriously doesn't have to be some smooth don wan shit when you start, you just need balls, the above is an example of a shitty weak close, go around for a bit, do 50 approaches a day, get a whole bunch of 1-2 minute shitty weak number closes, start going to the gym more, brush your teeth more, get nicer clothes, eventually when you have a bit of success, you will gain some more belief in your self, your mind will start to process things differently, you will believe in yourself more, your sub-communications and self talk will improve to make you process things in a more positive way, you will begin to become less needy when you have a whole bunch of phone numbers to play with, if a girl is showing dis-interest/flaking you won't be coming on this forum going OH BOY THERE IS THIS ONE GIRL AND I ASKED HER ON A DATE, AND SHE SAID YES, BUT THEN LAST SECOND DIDN'T SHOW, WHAT DO I DO, HOW DO I FIX THIS?, you will just next her ass without hesitation and ask another girl from your phone number list out, start approaching more, start showing more interest, you don't have to go full blown sexual, but at least hit on them a bit, when your comfortable hitting on them a bit, start hitting on them a bit more

oh also for the love of god follow up on the fucking numbers, text them all that day, start just having text convos with them, all the girls that start frequently texting you, just get them to come meet you and hang out, they already know your intentions before you got the number, that is the beauty of going direct, if you do this all the time, you don't even have to worry about if any of them want to sleep with you or not, just have fun having conversations/texting and having people around you, eventually it will just happen, and then it will happen more, just lead things in the direction you want them to go, and practice escalating, if things don't go there, don't sweat it, you always have more numbers to play with

eventually you just stop caring, and girls can sense this, the more you do it, the less you care, the less you care, the more they want you


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