Recovery from a bad date?



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PostPosted: Tue Sep 27, 2011 9:11 am 
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I'm new to formal 'game' however, after reading for a few hours on these forums, I realize I have been applying many of the concepts for years. It has always been easy to get girls to sleep with me, I have allot of superficial charm and good looks. However, it has been very difficult to get them to come back for anything more than the sex.

Recently I met a women who interested me deeply, from introduction she was intensely engaging and was throwing me heavy signals. She wasn't willing to be removed from the environment and she was so intense I couldn't walk away. After several hours we exchanged numbers, a few days later we had a great lunch date that went the same way, but within the containment of table and seats. She made some pretty heavy innuendo and at one point straight up alluded we would fuck.

The next date went terribly. I didn't take any responsibility in planning the date and I acted out of character, and in over analyzing my behavior, completely compounded it. Even though I knew things where heading downhill, she was so physical with me I couldn't doubt her interest.

I sent her a fairly trivial, 'small talk' text afterward and got no response for several days. So I called once, no response. The next day she called back and alluded, this time, that she did not want to see me again and she was only calling back to avoid being rude. I thanked her for calling and that I respected her decision.

I am very aware of the mistakes I made and I'm not sure if it is recoverable.
She was just so intense and physical that I cannot understand why she wouldn't initiate sex / accept my initiations.

How would you approach a recovery in this context? Should I wait weeks or months? Should I communicate it in person or via text? Furthermore, could some sort of witty text be used to regain her attention? or should I just go all in.

The mack continues unconditionally, I just feel like I have not completely exhausted my opportunity with this girl and that I should probably try to do so, in the best way I can.

However, it is likely at some point in the next year I will bump heads with her. At the very least, I should have some recovery material to drop on her.


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PostPosted: Tue Sep 27, 2011 5:14 pm 
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From my limited view of the situation from the window you've made here, it looks like you are done with this girl. You were a little vague, so I want to point out that it may or may not be your fault.

Some women are just like the way she presented herself to you. They have no intention of having a relationship or even sex, for that matter. They just like to prove to themselves that they can control and manipulate men.

But before you start getting upset, two things:

1) Try to think if it really was your fault, or if she was just stringing you along.

2) Don't bother getting upset at all, either way. Either you're getting upset with her, and who cares? You aren't really upset with her, you're just upset that she didn't live up to the ideal of her, your expectations, that you created in your mind. So then you'd be getting upset with yourself? Don't bother doing that either. The only reason you should get upset is if you didn't learn anything. Charge her to the game and move on.

That's how it's seen from my perspective. Good luck!

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PostPosted: Tue Sep 27, 2011 5:40 pm 
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Quote:
I'm new to formal 'game' however, after reading for a few hours on these forums, I realize I have been applying many of the concepts for years. It has always been easy to get girls to sleep with me, I have allot of superficial charm and good looks. However, it has been very difficult to get them to come back for anything more than the sex.

Recently I met a women who interested me deeply, from introduction she was intensely engaging and was throwing me heavy signals. She wasn't willing to be removed from the environment and she was so intense I couldn't walk away. After several hours we exchanged numbers, a few days later we had a great lunch date that went the same way, but within the containment of table and seats. She made some pretty heavy innuendo and at one point straight up alluded we would fuck.

The next date went terribly. I didn't take any responsibility in planning the date and I acted out of character, and in over analyzing my behavior, completely compounded it. Even though I knew things where heading downhill, she was so physical with me I couldn't doubt her interest.

I sent her a fairly trivial, 'small talk' text afterward and got no response for several days. So I called once, no response. The next day she called back and alluded, this time, that she did not want to see me again and she was only calling back to avoid being rude. I thanked her for calling and that I respected her decision.

I am very aware of the mistakes I made and I'm not sure if it is recoverable.
She was just so intense and physical that I cannot understand why she wouldn't initiate sex / accept my initiations.

How would you approach a recovery in this context? Should I wait weeks or months? Should I communicate it in person or via text? Furthermore, could some sort of witty text be used to regain her attention? or should I just go all in.

The mack continues unconditionally, I just feel like I have not completely exhausted my opportunity with this girl and that I should probably try to do so, in the best way I can.

However, it is likely at some point in the next year I will bump heads with her. At the very least, I should have some recovery material to drop on her.
Let me start off by saying this, you are a MAN.

Men DOMINATE.

Now, the first warning signal is that women just want to have a physical connection with you, and nothing more. That just means you have inner game problems that you need to sort out. There is a section in here, exclusive for that. I'd advise you to see that.

Secondly, you allowed her to take over the entire conversation and lead. Wrong move. She could be moved from the environment, you are just not the type who could've moved her. That's the truth. The fact that you were 'affected by her intensity' and 'she was not willing' are just excuses.

Well, you know where you went wrong and so did she. Your behaviour on that day must have been enough for her to make a decision about you, and that wasn't in your favour. Tough luck.

There is NO recovery. She has very clearly specified that she doesn't want to talk to you any further. So, respect her wishes. Learn from your mistakes in this effort and try to correct them in future attempts.

Good luck.

_________________
" You're born alone and you die alone and this world just drops a bunch of rules on top of you to make you forget those facts. But I never forget. I'm living like there's no tomorrow, because there isn't one. "


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PostPosted: Fri Jan 08, 2016 10:14 am 
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Quote:
The next day she called back and alluded, this time, that she did not want to see me again and she was only calling back to avoid being rude. I thanked her for calling and that I respected her decision.
...
There is NO recovery. She has very clearly specified that she doesn't want to talk to you any further.
All right, I know this happened a while ago and I'm sure both original parties have moved onto great things, yadda yadda, but for future visitors to this page...

I've poked around these forums a lot and it seems that the phrase "there is no recovery" gets tossed around quite a bit. It's almost like a mantra I'm used to when I come here. "There is NO recovery... there is no recovery..."

Fact is, there's almost ALWAYS SOME recovery, and in this case he says she ALLUDED that she did not want to see him. Alluded!? I would have asked what exactly she said, because that could mean anything from "do not call me again, ever" to something as vague as non-committal murmuring. There are entire programs devoted to recovering from a bad date and the only tenet is that there "is NO recovery" when either

(1) She asks or tells you to stop contacting her. "Please stop contacting me." Then you're done, now and forever.
(2) You've already slept with her. Research has shown that biologically after that happens you pass a point of no return and she becomes obstinate.

If anything after a bad date I wouldn't ramp up by calling someone ever-more-frequently. I'd go radio silent for a while and then try to rekindle interest. But don't assume there's "no recovery" every time a woman says something to cut your balls off.


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PostPosted: Fri Jan 08, 2016 11:29 am 
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So I called once, no response. The next day she called back and alluded, this time, that she did not want to see me again and she was only calling back to avoid being rude.
This happened to me in the fall, but after the girl gave me oral sex on the first date. I waited a month and sent her a a text pic of her favorite animal. She responded "Awww, cool".

I go for the date, she says she "cannot ever see us hanging out".

I do not respond. A month passes.

On this last Christmas, I get a text that says "Merry Christmas", lol. I reply "Merry Christmas to you too".

That's it.

On New Year's day she asks me if I have any vices. We exchange two texts and I invite her over. She offers a raincheck. I do not respond.

Four days later she sends me a partial nude in the morning. I tell her Id be up for a shoot later. She says "later is no good, come over now". I tell her I have to work until 9. She says "bummer, my night is booked".

I do not respond.

At 9:20 she sends a text saying her night has cleared. I invited her over to my house. She comes over and we have sex for several hours. She gives me a passionate, long kiss goodbye.

The girl is smoking hot. I'm glad it happened.

In many instances you can recover *if* you showed the girl a good time physically. But there has to be that remnant physical bond. A girl who swallows your cum even once is a girl who deep down, likes you in some way.

If you did not get intimate with this woman in any way, I would walk away and never look back. If there was passion, deep kissing, and a spark, play the long con like I did, but see other girls and DO NOT make her a priority.

I honestly hope it works with this girl. She's gorgeous and smart. But there was a brief physical connection/exchange of bodily fluids before she said she hated me, didn't want to see me again. By not responding in an emotional way to that, her attraction for me only grew.

If the girl in your scenario perceives you as clingy/needy, the only hope is to stop contacting her and run a jealousy plot. Show her other women aren't repelled by you combined with no contact, and you might get another shot. But again, lower odds if she hasn't had some kind of sex with you.

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PostPosted: Sun Jan 10, 2016 12:35 am 
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wins and losses amigo it's part of the game. You cared too much too fast a big turn off.

In your favor there are tons of women out there and these types of situations should be seen as disposable and brushed off.

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PostPosted: Mon Jan 11, 2016 9:37 pm 
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What was the sex like?

Sounds to me like the sex was either awful, or you became obnoxiously clingy when it was all said and done. What happen directly after the sex. And what did you text her when you texted her the next day?

I'll usually just tell the girl to text me when she gets home and then I'll text her a good night and leave if for her to initiate after that. You can do either or though. Its not what you do its how you do it. Its the vibe you give off in the process. Its push and pull man you know how it works. When you want it, they don't, when they want it, you don't. Its about finding and operating within the balance of all of that.

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