"Flow is the mental state of operation in which a person in an activity is fully immersed in a feeling of energized focus, full involvement, and success in the process of the activity"-Mihály Csíkszentmihályi

Flow, is my fellow PUA's, State control; The cornerstone of becoming a PUG(Pick up guru)

The PUG Mindset on flow V.S. AFC Limiting notions on flow

PUG:The flow is created from...Immersion in Assurance!
Assurance enables triple induction massage, Stacking Orgasms, and Fabled Seducers aura!

AFC
Always fixated on re-creating prior moments of flow (thus creating Fool's Aura) (e.g. Imagine the Star High School Jock, who never moved on, grasping at fleeting glory)

BE THE PUG...FREE FROM VALIDATION!

M2 is well on his way to beoming an intense PUA, due to his grit; Coping with intense, Animalistic feelings.

Myself and M2, are in a sweltering,barren desert Heat stricken (Symbolic for: Heavy AFC limting mindsets), feet away from LUSCIOUS,GREEN OASIS, TEEMING WITH LIFE AND THE FOUNTAIN EVER FLOWING AQUA DE VIDA
To drink from sacred nectar of PUG Kingdom

Embrace Eternity,
Chocolate Moose

Nice- yeah- I agree, stay in the moment. Find the flow and don't look back.

We must be willing to let go of the life we have planned So as to accept the one that is waiting for us. -- Joseph Campbell

That quote says it all- I wanted to be married, I wanted to be a Dad, I wanted a farm in the Shenandoah Valley back home, I wanted a simple little life with a rocking chair, kids playing at my feet and somewhere to fish, naps on Sunday after church, quiet evenings, peaceful mornings----but it seems I have another path to take.....I am ready for it. For the first time in 31 years- I am ready to plan outside the box.


I have been told that I should put down my overall goals/dreams to find out where I'd like to be- I think context is the best place to start-

Why am I in the game?

I have been reasonably successful with women, but not as much as I'd like to be. I am 31, divorced and sometimes can go through streaks where I don't get laid for whatever reason. My lays are in the double digits, but no where near where they were in college. College game is a lot easier.

In my adult life- somehow one night stands dragged on for months, making myself and the girl unhappy.

As if that mindfuck weren't enough, I realized I had surrounded myself with people who destroyed my confidence and self esteem for years. Over the last year I have kicked all of those people to the curb. Fuck them.

Despite dating a lot, being a good looking guy, having a career, always treating people with respect as I was raised and, being humble I always went home to an empty apartment, a meal made for one, and went to sleep in a bed that was empty.

What really pissed me off was being called a "catch" and then looking around and seeing douche bags with great women. Or being put in the friend zone---I don't mind being friends with women, but it really gets to me when I like them and they choose to be with the druggie, or a repeat offender instead.

What really REALLY drove me to the edge and why I started this to begin with was a conversation with my mother. I love my parents, I come from the best family of all time. Even distant relatives and I are close. She told me she had went to church and had a discussion with someone about praying for your children, even if they're adults. I asked, what did you pray for- she said, "I prayed for your broken heart."

This isn't a religious discussion- but it is an important part of my life and I wouldn't be doing this if SOMETHING (whatever you believe) out there pushed me into this path. This door opened for a reason and I am walking through

That sums it up. After a divorce, being thrown in the friend zone, coming home to an empty apartment every night, having little or no friends since moving to Baltimore, even fucked over a time or two not to mention countless dates where I didn't understand why they didn't want to keep dating---- it all came into clarity.

I am not a person who identifies a problem and sits passively on it. It just isn't in me. This is either part of my nature or a hold over from my time in the US Military. Probably both, but clearly there was an issue.

I have been the told the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result each time you do it- something needed to change. I had been aware of the community for a couple years and even half-assed studied it but, I didn't really take it too much further. I had several friends who were former keyboard jockeys turned suave mofo's and decided this was it.

Once committed, once my will is set, there is no going back. I studied everything, devoured every scrap I could find about PU. However- knowledge without application is useless. Which is where I am. Getting everything I learned out of my head and into practice.

With that- I need goals- then I can break those into doable actions. It's time to embrace the road less traveled and see where it takes me.

Short Term Goals
-Transition in set better
-3/5
-Build a great life including more friends and positive people
-Work on building more attraction initially
-Find the flow and don't look back. Looking for a flow is an easy way to kill it
-Stay in the moment, don't force the interaction
-Leave every woman better than I found her
-Finish my third novel (I am a writer)
-Actually take a vacation for the first time in 7 years
-Save more money
-Join an amateur soccer league
-Start playing my guitar for other people again
-Work on getting promoted again at work

Intermediate Term Goals
-5/5
-Finish writing two more novels
-Travel more...anywhere----my bag are packed! LETS GO!
-Start painting again
-Become a MPUA

Long Term Goals
-Find my soul mate. Marry her, have kids.
-Buy/build a house--preferably build a house
-Finish college once and for all
-Get at least one novel published
-Die at 100, surrounded by loved ones with a head full of great memories.

These are pretty attainable. I honestly thought I was meant for the same path like everyone back home- but I am not. That much is clear- so it's time to start walking I know there has to be something great over the next horizon.

Go for it!

Def dude- can't wait to meet the other two PUA sarging with us- looks like the Baltimore Lair is up and running. Going to be fun brobot

“How ridiculous and how strange to be surprised at anything which happens in life”
― Marcus Aurelius

I am a little surprised this morning, which is rare. I don't get surprised too often by anything. It's still early at the office- so before I start getting stressed by the 600 emails I get a day, or the phone calls, or the BS I wanted to get this down so I don't lose it.

Already I have gotten 30 emails, two IM's and a phone call causing my blood pressure to rise so I got to get this down quick. Actually this might be a question at the end of the post. Stayed tuned.

During my carpool this morning (I have a 40 min commute to work, sometimes more if there is traffic in the tunnel) one of the people I ride with wanted to go to Dunkin Donuts- I don't normally eat stuff like this but I figured what the hell.

Immediately upon entering I spy a milf. A bonafide milf. Blonde, tan, incredible body. The whole way to work I kept thinking, can I really sarge at 6am? Would that even work, but here before me was a 9+. I had to act and try it out

She was leaning over the counter telling the cashier which donuts she wanted. Every guy in the place had eyes on her. I knew if I was going to do this, not only would I have to neg, but also open at the same time. Both risky and more so that early in the morning. She was wearing khaki business pants and black shirt. I am in khakis and a black dress shirt. Perfect.

I step up in line as she waits for her stuff, take a breathe and go totally on instinct. It was one of those things where you don't think, you just do.

"Holy crap you totally copied me! Black shirt and khakis. We need to coordinate better." I say with a smirk. She has her back to me, I am standing at an angle and talking over my shoulder. She turns, faces me with a huge grin, reaches for my bicep and says: "I know we totally do, next time I'll send you a memo.

Just that IOI alone would have been enough once upon a time, but she is a stone cold milf so I continue. "You know I think that is a good idea, I think you should send me a memo if you're going to copy what I am wearing. This is embarrassing for both of us." I laugh, she squeeze harder on my arm, looks me up and down. Hook!

I turn slightly like I am finished talking and she reopens. "I work at blah blah blah"
We make some fluff talk but I notice she keeps validating herself to me and then, I had to leave and rush to work. In retrospect I should have number closed, but didn't. It is a definite learning experience and totally a huge surprise! All the pieces are starting to fall into place.

Question to consider: because I get so stressed at work, I find it hard to work up the mental state to sarge during the week....I work out a lot, so that helps, but I just can't get the state. Kind of sucks...any advice?

I have the same problem as you in terms of state. Sometimes I'm just not in the mood at all to sarge. I just wanna relax and get on with life.

But then when I tell myself "oh what the hell" and on my way to doing something, chat to an HB with a directional opener, my mood changes. Suddenly I feel sparkles inside my body. I feel a surge of energy. Then I try opening another, then another. At the end of it, I'm having a fucking blast!!!

One thing though, if the approaches turn out dreadful, I end up having a bad night. So the goal is to keep approach (on the way to getting on with your life) till you end up with a decent conversation!

gd luck and go do what you gotta do on that milf!

Good shit man- and if you ever need a wing in the US- look me up!

Swim out on a sea of faces,
The tide of the human races,
An answer now is what I need.

See it in a new sun rising
See it break on your horizon
Oh, come on love, stay with me... Coldplay, "White Shadows"

When I was a teenager I was obsessed with Rodeo- I read books, watched it, talked about it, breathed it. But as I have always asserted: "Knowledge without application and real world experience is useless." Or as Marcus Tullius Cicero stated:“Real knowledge is to know the extent of one's ignorance."

The point is: no matter how much you know- you'll never truely be able to gauge what you know without pratice and real world experience. So there came a day I had to ride my first bull. I was scared. REALLY scared. I could feel the power of the animal under me. It's every breathe like a shudder and thump coursing through my body. I swear he could breathe fire. I jumped on his back and lasted two seconds. I studied every move, every nuance, I talked to everyone. I tried again. Four seconds. Again. Seven seconds. Again; eight seconds finally. I hadn't actually finished. To do a thing once isn't the apex of skill- you have do it consistently.

This is how I feel now. I have tried over and over and over but still keep getting thrown except for the occasional success and, it seems, there is no amount of dissection that will give me the answer I need. I know I CAN succeed- I have done it in the past, but I have no idea how and why my current methodology is failing. It's frustrating as hell.

I do however look back on all the progress I have made in a short time and don't even recognize myself. Someone interesting has shown up in my life and I am still getting to know him. There is a natural crescendo or arc to success. It's a constant in the universe and can even be expressed mathematically; it is normally three steps forward, one back. I pray this is the case for me. - dawn is a prime example of this- It's approach is cast in darkness and cold. Far colder than the rest of the night. All hope is lost in that blackness. Then the sky begins being painted with indigo, neon purple and shades of dark blue. As it continues an orange and pink tint dominants and then, like a phoenix rising the sun burst fourth over the horizon, blazing across the sky flooding it with brilliant light.

Sarging with Chocolatemoose and Weezy.

I decided to take Stealth's advice and just sarge whether I was feeling it or not- I met Moose at a local mall which was the most target poor area I have yet been to. Both of us tried to get at least one approach under our belt but didn't. We left and went to an outdoor mall packed with people and a band playing in the center near a reflecting pool. The air carried a nippiness that precedes fall.

After our initial approaches we began picking out targets. His first one was a blonde 7. Cute, but nothing to write home about. He entered the store---(actually I think I had one before this, but damned if I can't remember who it was.) He entered the store walked near her, then walked out. He was clearly still wrestling with AA. I told him, "well someone has to open her"- I walked in made a b-line and said:

"Hey- I need a woman's advice. My nieces birthday is coming up, what do you think I should get her?"

She said- "How old is she?"

"Two,"

She turns and then walks me back to the kids section. I ran ESP, got both her numbers, but she kept her back to me, spoke in a stoic manner and didn't make eye contact.....C'EST TRES BIZÀRRE! I ejected. Moose met me at the door.

Outside was a girl in a football jersey smoking. I told him, approach- he didn't. Next were two of the hottest women I have ever seen coming out of the same store. "Dude- two set, go" Nothing. He gets angry at himself- it is clear we're cut from the same cloth, I am kind of a perfectionist and I can be my own worst critic, so I try to get him to see it as is.

He tells me: "Dude- look at those two, they're WAY out of my league"

"No." I tell him "You don't have a league. You see those two" I point to them "They take a shit in the morning. If they have Thai food it probably hurts like hell coming out, I mean what do you think they don't poop like us? They don't shit strawberry yogurt, it's shit, just like yours. You don't have a league." His wheels start turning again.

We walk back towards the band playing. A brunette is sitting by herself on a bench. I guessed she was 24 or so- but who the hell knows. I make an approach after Moose decides not to.

"Help me settle an argument- who lies more, men or women." She goes into her explanation and I say: "I got to get back to my buddy in a sec, but this I got to hear." She continues, I start getting IOI.

"Ya know- when I first came over here, I was bit iffy on you, but now that I sit here....you got...*hand gestures* something about you, so what makes you more than just a face in the crowd"

She goes into how she is a writer, I swat it down and disqualify since I myself am a writer. She tells me she sings. Once again I disqualify since I am a musician. I see her body language open, her pupils dilate. She likes me. This time I am thinking, "FINALLY, number close, maybe Stealth was right" Moose approaches, I tell him, "She said both," he nods and says, "I'll be over here" and then looks at her before leaving, "This is a cool guy, listen to him!"

I tell her to give me some of her poetry, she can't think of any, I say, "well lets write it together, but first since I am a novelist I need to know stuff about you"
She agrees and seems to enjoy. I run ESP, wrong both times. I ask her to give me her hands facing up for compliance, and to do a fake palm read. She does. I start the cube. Gradually her body language closes off- no IOI's and I get questions like "What is this cube," "This is a strange question."

I lost it....not sure how.....I eject. I find Moose a few yards away. We go over the interaction and he is just as baffled as me. But he does notice I blow out at the exact same place in every set. We make our way to another store- he doesn't approach another set, so I do which promptly fizzles out. When I rejoin him he is on the phone with Weezy a new member of the Baltimore M&M lair.

We find him and greet each other. He looks like a cross between a hipster and a lumber jack. He's clearly in shape, stout and has a lot of energy. We discuss theory, goals, products. He is a fan of Brad P and even attended his boot camp in New York. I have never heard of this guru but I am curious about his style.

Weezy has a lot of nervous energy when he speaks and seems like he has been hurt bad by people in the past, but instead of playing the victim he decided to make a better life. He seems optimistic, I like that. That's when he switched. Before my eyes he went from insecure guy, to party guy. He was getting high fives from grannies, dancing with kids, he is an approach beast!

He carries it forward with a "it's only life, and meant to be fun" attitude. I spy a two set and tell Moose. He walks away and finally approaches. The pair seem interested and he stays in set. Weezy and I get acquainted in between his "Horse Opener" and dancing with little kids to the music and high fiving everyone.

Horse opener is:


Point to the girl (target) and wait a moment. Then say:
You: “Do you like horses?”
Her: “Yes/No/Maybe.”
You: “Hmmmm. I thought so. Check this out. When I was in sixth grade there was this girl that
loved horses. She loved them more than ANYTHING. She would draw horses all over her binders,
she would be running all over the playground making horse noises.
(About this time the girl wonders why you are telling her this and starts getting bored with your
story, then you deliver the punch line.)
You: “You look JUST LIKE HER.

---It isn't my style, but I think he does it well. Moose rejoins us but doesnt number close. When pressed he states: "we'll see them again" a short time later, we walk into a Z-Burger. I tell the blonde cashier I want the lasagna (at a burger place LOL) while Weezy flirts with girl he keeps calling "Ronda" despite her name being Jen. LOL--that guy.

We were nearly done when Moose burst through the door to go outside. The girls are back. Bravo Moose. He games for another 10 minutes. I walk out mid-way, "dude, you got stalkers," "This one is cool," he points to the 6, and then points to the 8 "But this one...." the girl protests. I rejoin Weezy inside, clearly Moose doesn't need me, he is pimpin pretty solid. Weezy goes over his goals, relationship history...it's bad. He desperately wants to be loved. It is a human impulse and I can't fault him for it. It hurts to come home to an empty apartment every night, some of us are just better at dealing with it- or- just ignore it....maybe he is better off than all of us for being that honest with himself. I think he will- one day meet the girl he aches for- it will just take time and growth.

We end the night- all-in-all it was learning experience. I didn't drown in the sea of faces- but an answer now is what I really need. End week 4.

Questions:

Why the fuck am I bombing in the same place?
How can I keep this from happening and refine my technique.

On tap for Week 5-

Sarging with the full M&M lair- Md's finest, ChocolateMoose, Weezy, Animal and one other.

Day two with N

Day two with S (the BF destroyer from post one)

Tomorrow your going for broke and getting superstar attraction ! Thanks for the post, We're (You, Paul, and Me) are all headed in the uber-success direction!

Hey man! I just started reading and I love the thread! You're going at pick up in the most productive and proactive way I've seen! You're going places.

In the situation I quoted, I think she was scared of giving you the wrong answer. She wanted you to like her, and the abstract nature of these questions were too much, she prefers that you like her on a more real level, as a writer and singer. I think if you had jumped off the topic, like answer "This is a strange question" with "Alright, you ask me a strange one then, we'll be even" you could still have had a really strong close. That said, beautifully done up til there and everything comes with practice.

A couple notes on things I've seen earlier in the thread. You may have corrected them, I skimmed a little bit somewhere in there. When you're texting or messaging people don't talk so much! Less is more, no need for a paragraph when you can use one sentence. No need to tell her: When "Next time make sure your jokes are funny " will suffice. (Also no need to get worked up over her calling you crazy, its a shit test!)

One more note on messaging, leave yourself something to chain into! Start on one topic, like the mutual friend that started your facebook interaction, and leave out the rest. Be ready to use it in the next message, but keep it simple to start, gauge her interest before throwing a ton of yours out there.

All that said, your cold approach game is definitely better than mine at this point, I'll keep reading and learning from you. Keep it up!

Thanks dude- I could always use more readers and I have been trying to use my creative skills to make my FR more of an enjoyable read! I am a writer after all! I think it's better for me and isn't a mind dump like the first couple of posts.


This right here, is fucking mint. I needed this! BAD! Thanks for the info- it will help! +5
I like the snappy come back- at the time I was kind of pissed admittedly. I can be a little longed winded! LOL
Thanks for the compliment, truth be told I was getting a little frustrated, but this helps! Thanks man!

‘Cause I know there’s got to be another level
Somewhere closer to the other side
And I’m feeling like it’s now or never
Can I break the spell of the typical

I’ve lived through my share of misfortune
And I’ve worked in the blazing sun
But how long should it take somebody
Before they can be someone----Mutemath, "Typical,"

*This is going to be a huge FR- keep right on going if you're not in it for the long haul.*

I spoke with my Mother several nights ago. Since learning the game I didn't realize what she and my Father (who have been married 30+ years happily) had been trying to tell me. She was baby-sitting one of my nieces Addison. A lively two year old with sapphires for eyes and jet black hair. I could hear her banging on pots in the background while we spoke.

"Addy did the strangest thing today,"

"What?"

"Well think of this while you're doing your pickup thing." I chuckled at the statement so she continued. "Addy was playing with some of my jewelry and put necklaces on, bracelets that sort of stuff, nothing she could get in her mouth."

"Yeah"

"Yeah so she walks in and shows me and points at the jewlrey and says: 'pretty' I tell her: 'Yes that is pretty' then she looks back up at me and points to herself and says 'Pretty, pretty' I tell her: 'yes, you're beautiful Addison'"

"Wow Mom...I don't really..."

"Well just think of that. Everyone wants to be wanted. Women want to be beautiful even at that age. If you can make her feel , not tell her but , really feel like she is special, you'll have her. Some get told they're beautiful all the time, and as I have told you since you were little, actions speak louder than words. And just so you know, you're a special young man and women are fools if they don't see it."

I love my parents.

It's my fault I needed the game, not theirs. I rebelled. I thought I was smarter than them and I wound up angry, divorced and dating pointlessly. What a strange journey this is turning out to be and sort of a lonely one at times.

Sunday
It was suppose to start with BF destroyer from post one- she flaked. I have been friends with her for two years and have never seen her act like this. It started several weeks ago after pulling BF destroyer. In one day I got 117 texts. The next day she felt the need to keep reminding me she doesn't like me like that despite my never telling her I like her like that. After flaking last time I told her this would be it. I am going this far and no further. So she flaked. End of story.

To make matters worse my best friend of three years suddenly broke the news she had feelings for me. Then a male friend decided to AMOG me on my FB. As if this weren't enough I bailed on Moose and Weezy for sarging the BMA. I couldn't. I felt low. Lower than low. What the hell was going on? my entire social circle I'd built for three years since moving to Baltimore was collapsing. Men would pull their girlfriends tight when in my presence, co-workers felt the need to posture and try to assume a dominant position. Female friends either went off the deep end or wound up in love. I asked my brother who said: "Who gives a shit what people think" I asked my parents, nothing. Skills360 on the forum pegged it or at least I had a feeling he was right.

I am getting dangerous and didn't even realize it and the events of the next day (today) would confirm it. I just had find the flow and be a little more natural in my interactions.

Monday

I started sarging at 9am. First I needed a few warm ups. Blonde 7 in Target. "Hey- I need a womans opinion." she was looking at dog food, "Cool- whats up."

"Lets say you're best friends with someone of the opposite sex and they tell you they're..." I use hand gestures and place a pregnant pause before continuing to gauge interest, "in love with you, how would you let them down easy and save the friendship." She gave some serious IOI while giving me her opinion, however I ejected when I saw the wedding ring. I always find it odd I do well with married women even if I don't know they're married. I guess it just illustrates all the women who married beta pieces of shit and then didn't realize it until later. No wonder people cheat. I don't like it and wouldn't game a married woman, but I get it now. They want a man, but end up marrying a boy.

This opener while technically a mix of DLV and DHV is a real life event and direct approach. Compliments jurupa and skills360--if you're real with people, they'll be real to you......

I bought a small notebook and the cashier a male kept sucking up to me. It was very odd. "Dude, I love your shades," or "You know, these little notebooks are great," I am pretty sure he wasn't gay, but it's just another shift in behavior I am beginning to notice. It almost reminded me of that beta guy who is always sucking up to the boss. Half the day I kept thinking: what the hell has gotten into people?

I left and went to an outdoor shopping center. The sun had began warming the sidewalk, it felt great. Bright, cheerful, sarging weather. I walk into a Pier 1 and I am immediately greeted by the most rainbow flag waving, musical theater loving gay guy ever and a 6. I walk to the back to look at the paintings and while on my way carefully case the place for targets. The door opens behind me I look back. The gay guy and 6 are staring at my ass. Damn it. LOL--I am a little weirded out by it, but continue.

It is at this point it really sinks in whats going on. First my avatar must be shit hot. Second, I must have phenomenal body language. If it walks like a duck, quakes like a duck, acts like a duck....it's got to be a duck....I think back to the first time I sarge with Moose. He is shocked by all of the IOI he gets and asks me about it, I tell him, "You've been getting it all along, you just never believed you could get it, so you didn't look for it. " My mother calls it reinforcing of core values. People go out of their way to reinforce their view of the world. They buy books, only watch certain things, rationalize all of their actions. If you believe you're worthless you will surround yourself with people who will maintain that reality for you, you'll look everywhere to maintain it. It's your reality. I should have listened to her all along.

I go across the street to the dead mall, it's still dead except for insanely attractive foreign women at their kiosks. I find it strange that shop owners think I will suddenly decide I need their shitty wares based on the hired guns they hire. Nothing. I break for lunch however as I do- an African American women spots me, flips her hair and nearly runs into me. Her breast grazes my arm. I turn back and she looks me up and down. If that wasn't an IOI I don't know what the hell is. However- she really isn't what I am looking for so I let it pass. I catch myself in a mirror.

I am wearing a red button down shirt, boot cut jeans, brown boots/shoes, sunglasses, shiny expensive looking watch. I look like a vampire who poses for GQ and does fight club on the weekends. I am getting there and there can be no denying it.

At 3pm I make my way to Towson mall with Moose. He has grown in the short time I've known him. He sports a red and white rugby jersey/sweater and looks pretty bad ass. His approach anxiety is becoming a thing of the past. I meet him in the food court of the mall and no sooner had I sat down I spy a 9 eating by herself, I leave Moose mid-sentence and approach.

I use the best friend opener and the sit down, throwing two time constraints for good measure. It wasn't a very natural set.

I tell her about my ex-girlfriend in Montreal. She loves Montreal. She tells me a crazy story of when she was a lesbian. She asks me if it's ok if she eats while we talk, which on the inside I find hilarious. Asking me for permission? I sat down at her table, not the other way around. Clearly I have no issue getting people into my reality. She also comments I am the "Perfect Leo" which is true since I was born in August. I conclude with a number request. Nothing. I knew what I did. I didn't disqualify and I qualified to her....just another learning experience. I rejoin Moose who is texting Weezy who is due to arrive at 5.

We walk by a statue of a flying squarl holding a nut, he laughs. "What's so funny?"

"That statue, how weird is that"

"Oh, he's just trying to get a nut," I state and continue walking. "Aren't we all," he replies.

"Stairway to Heaven," begins playing nearby and I spot a short haired woman coming out of a store. I approach...same opener. She looks like she belongs in high fashion. She's model ugly. Her body language closes and she leaves.

We walk by a gadgets store and a brunette with the longest hair I have seen in a while is looking at useless shit no one needs. I love long hair on women. It's so fucking sexy.

I use the same opener. We get going. She's French. I disqualify in French and neg.

"Combien de temps avez-vous été aux Etats-Unis?" How long have you been in the US

"Quelques mois" A few months.

"Bon" Good.

"Your French is good- but not great." Shit test

"Voir c'est pourquoi nous ne pouvons pas parler, vous serez toujours critiquer mon français et je vais critiquer votre anglais" See this is why we wouldn't work, you'd always be criticizing my French and I'd criticize your English. She laughs and a woman interupts.

"Can I help you two with anything?" I feel like yelling, GO AWAY OLD WOMAN, LEAVE NOW YOU WRETCHED OLD HAG, FUCKING LEAVE! ARRGGGGHHHHH but I smile and say "Nope we're good," lmao I eject sometime after. Bilingual pickup isn't easy. I can barely do it in my own language. Haha I also realize if you're going to assume a dominant frame, she has to be in your world, I should have stayed with English. In rapport I could have surprised her with French. Lesson learned.

I approach a hired gun hippy of all things, but like the others she closes off eventually. FUCK! I ask Moose what he thinks and we both agree it's an attraction issue. At this point I am thinking, maybe that was all in my head, maybe I am not the shit, maybe I am not that great.... I work out several DHV spikes before approaching the next set while we wait for Weezy to arrive. Moose tells me "it's not about stories or anything, just try to BE interesting, do interesting things, people love to talk about themselves." Once he meets us we make our way downstairs. A cute blonde 8.5 is sitting alone. I had seen her before and noticed subtle IOI earlier, but didn't approach. I sit and talk with Weezy who looks like he just stepped out of a James Dean motorcycle gang movie and decide to act armed only with a couple of DHV spikes and nothing else. Tous naturelle

Best friend opener.I sit. It begins. She gives me IOI.

"You know- I bet you're an extrovert," (lite IOI for my DHV comment) "I mean just look at that bag," she leans forward and smiles telling me how great her bag is.

I use my qualifier ""Ya know- when I first came over here, I was bit iffy on you, I'll be honest, but now that I sit here....you got...*hand gestures* something about you, so what makes you more than just a face in the crowd" Most women do qualify themselves with it- it's kind of abstract, but seems to serve several purposes. First a lot of women are insecure, so they fill in what "iffy" means with their own insecurities. Second, communication with women seems to work best with innuendo, suggestion and metaphor. Third it allows me to maintain a dominant frame. She tells me she is an English major. I have been here before. This is where I blow it. She goes into the novels she likes. I probe further and break the cycle. No cube. No routine. Just me.

I break rapport, "Holy shit, lemme see your hands," she complies and I look at her nails, "Did you really mean to color coordinate your bag with your nails?"

She laughs, "No"

"Are they real"

"No"

"Oh well they look OK anyway" MM neg, I got use some stuff!

She laughs, "Well I do need to get them done anyway."

"See I told you I had you pegged!" She laughs again and I notice a continued spike in IOI. I am doing it!!!!!

We talk some more about her goals, and literature. I tell her "We'd make a terrible couple, you'd always be criticizing my novels!" She laughs again stroking her hair.

"Oh, so you're a writer?"

"Yeah in my free time." While in set, I am trying not to talk about myself, at all. Especially before I am 20 minutes in, the more she talks about her, the better off I am I change the subject. We talk about a novel she's reading. I notice Weezy and Moose are going up the escalator, Moose gives me the signal to close. We talk a little more and finally I say- "Listen I have really got to get back to my friends, but this was fun, how can we continue this?"

"Um" She doesn't seem to know what to say "How about I give you a call" I say- she thinks, hesitates..."I have a boyfriend"

"That's super, I have a goldfish, his name is Harry." I stand. She grabs my notebook and puts her number down. I eject. FUCKING FINALLY!

I notice when cold approaching, the more natural I am and more dominant I am, the more she feels at ease and opens up. It seems to "flow" as Moose put it, better.

I catch up to Weezy and Moose. "Please tell me you number closed" I show them the notebook. The three of us finish the night wandering around Towson. Swapping stories, laughing, having fun. The way sarging should be in the end.

On my way back to my apartment I think back to what my mother had been telling me all along. I am interesting, I am fun, I am smart, I am attractive. I think back to all the times I'd been complimented and how at the time I didn't believe it. I couldn't understand what they saw. It's an odd thing to be human, sometimes, no matter how independent we are, we want to feel wanted by someone else. If we base our self esteem on that alone, that's when it's unhealthy, but sometimes, when you reframe your life, and challenge your beliefs you need to fill that void with new beliefs and, every once in awhile we need to prove to ourselves what everyone else has been telling us all along.

Questions:

How to build on what I've done and learned.

How to learn consistency in pickup.

I got soul, but I'm not a soldier. - The Killers, "All These Things That I've Done."

This is a goal posts- no approaches but, the weekend is coming up.

My boss reads my FR- I think he lives vicariously through me since his penis died- er uh I mean he got married. LMAO Zing- that said- he told me he could see a change. Even from reading the FR. He said I seem "less angry" Everyone has noticed it. I am clearly making progress and I like that.

I havnt always been physically dominant or, assertive but after puberty it came roaring to life. I am literally a walking contradiction, I know. Part of that was a rural upbringing (which lends itself to a muscular physique), being a risk taker, having an AMOG for a little brother and serving time in the US Navy.

My Father told me when I was six, on my very first day of school, I got on the school bus, happy, artistic, bright and fun and came home a different person. I was super sensitive and I still am in many ways. In elementary school and junior high I was little for my age and immature so I got bullied. In high school I came into my own. My brother and I used to find bullies and beat them up, that is- if we weren't fighting each other. But my father said he didn't see the real me for awhile after that. He was right-

There have been multiple incarnations of me through the years but in a sense I have always tried (and failed) at finding that little boy again. The real me again. Until now- I am working on being 100% authentic, no fronts, no bull shit, just me.

The game seems to be 80% inner- 20% actual pickup.

Questions to consider-

I look back at my previous successful interactions in my AFC days and several things stand out and these are things I need to replicate.

- The woman was hyper-focused on me. She lived totally in my world
- I was able to get the woman to emote very quickly. If you can get a woman to really emote, you have her.

I am just trying to figure out how I did it- I don't really remember- it was in my AFC days.....any help you can offer- please let me know

Goals-
N- close consistently
Continue to develop my own style.
Approach 20 Saturday (easily attainable)
Keep looking for the little boy on the bus.

Other questions-
-I am still having a hard time sarging even for a little bit in the week. I am normally totally drained by the time work is over.


Plans for the next couple days-

Bass Pro Shop with Jess (her idea, she knows I love it)-----still don't think I should run BF Destroyer on her---especially after what happened with my last couple of female friends (who I didn't even game)

Sargeing with the M & M Lair, Baltimore- Moose, Weezy, Md's Finest, Animal- Inner Harbor sarge, plus possible Fells Point close-----I could easily do 100 approaches...THAT ONE NIGHT...it's going to be a beast.

Day Game Sunday- M&M lair

Stay tuned.

Any help or comments, let me know!

Suggestion: Focusing on the qualities of the approaches
-ChocolateMoose
M&M Lair founder and Youngest Member