Hi!

I've been dating a girl for 4 months now, and it has been amazing. For the first time in 5 yrs (i'm 24) i really fell in love with a girl, in between I just had a lot, and i mean a lot, of one night stands. It was really refreshing meeting a girl that I actually had feelings for. And when I did, I got really strong feelings for her.

The thing is, right from the start, she told me that it would take some time for her to have sex, and to really get emotionally attached. She didn't tell me the reason why, and I didn't try to make her either, I just respected it, and I was actually okay with waiting, as I finally had found a girl I really liked.

So, for four months now, we have just had a great time, it was a perfect relationship, except for the sex part. So, now, this friday, she broke up we me. Totally out of the blue. This problem with having sex and get really emotionally attached to people was a bit more serious than she told me the first time. It had gone so far, that she now sees a psychiatrist to get help, and she had decided she couldn't be in a relationship while she dealt with this problem of hers.

A can't do anything else than respect that.

My question is, how can I get this girl back? She did not break up with me because she didn't have feelings for me, we got off on a high note... it was this problem she had that caused her to do this. I realize that I have to wait till she has dealt with it and is ready to have that kind of feelings for a partner again. But in the mean time, what is the best thing to do?

Keep communication on a miminum? Or talk to her and keep having fun together, just as friends?

And, one more question. She sent me a text yesterday, saying she was sorry and all, and that this was really hard for her etc... can i reply with something like "yeah, it has been a few difficult days for me as well, but i know it is not because you don't like me anymore. When you are ready to have those kind of feelings for someone again, who knows, maybe we'll bump into eachother "?? or is this a bit of wussy? she might think i will be waiting for her, which i don't want her to think!!



Thanks for any answers... I appreciate it!


//alex

Cut all ties. Forget about her.

The way I see it, 4 months and no sex just screams 'stringing along', and that whole therapy thing, well that should be your warning sign right there.

This is a confused girl here, who does not know what she wants from you. You're much better off finding someone who will give you what you want, and you can give her what she wants back.

Not someone who'll turn you into a monk, by the time she is 'ready'.

I know this is harsh advice, but this is the only one that will work. Trust me. Also, don't reply to her messages. She'll miss the attention, but she will get over it. You fell harder for this girl because you had a good time with her without the physical intimacy so it seems 'different', but that was a mutual choice. Remember that. You can always achieve it with other girls too, if you want to. That's nothing special about it.

Good luck.

_________________
" You're born alone and you die alone and this world just drops a bunch of rules on top of you to make you forget those facts. But I never forget. I'm living like there's no tomorrow, because there isn't one. "