Does "your sweet" = "just friends"?



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naismith33
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PostPosted: Sat Sep 17, 2011 5:51 pm 
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Well since I've only really seen her in class it's been kind of hard to touch her. However, when we pass my notebook back and forth with our notes on it, I always graze my fingers against hers for a few seconds. She could always just put it back on my desk, but she always hands it to me and we touch every time.

I think you're right about the humor thing. I'll only write her notes if she writes first. But should I say that I'm going to lunch and ask her if she wants to join on Tuesday (our next class) since I got blown off before or should I wait a while before asking again?
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ProfessorX
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PostPosted: Sat Sep 17, 2011 6:12 pm 
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"Basically you're being too cute and supplicating to this chick.

You're got to live your life and do your own thing. Invite her along if she wants to come otherwise do it without her. Or better yet, invite another girl instead. Stop letting her answers dictate your actions and be your own man."
That's what I thought I was doing. I said that I was going stargazing and that she should come along. But I'm still going even though she said she couldn't. Should I not talk to her at all next class?
Stargazing? Passing notes? Tic tac toe? Bringing her sandwiches? These are things a friend (or a love-sick puppy) would do, not a guy she wants to bang.

You've become completely harmless to this chick, you're even afraid to touch her. Basically you're a being a really "sweet guy" who will continue to land squarely in the friend-zone until you change your approach and develop kind of sexual confidence.
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naismith33
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PostPosted: Sat Sep 17, 2011 6:23 pm 
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Quote: "Stargazing? Passing notes? Tic tac toe? Bringing her sandwiches? These are things a friend (or a love-sick puppy) would do, not a guy she wants to bang. "

The bringing the sandwich thing was bad. The stargazing was for a class and I invited her along. The tic tac toe and passing notes was how I got her number.

Since the next time I'm going to see her is class next week, I'll try to change my approach. The class is boring and she usually just looks at her phone if I'm not writing her notes. Do you think the passing notes could work if I made them less funny, or should I just stop them all together?

She seems to like them and writes back right away and I can hear her giggle at what I write, but what do you guys think?
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DJ_Z
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PostPosted: Sat Sep 17, 2011 7:56 pm 
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just stop it. perhaps you could spend your time gaming other girls because right now it seems like your focus is entirely on one.
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ProfessorX
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PostPosted: Sat Sep 17, 2011 8:24 pm 
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The bringing the sandwich thing was bad. The stargazing was for a class and I invited her along. The tic tac toe and passing notes was how I got her number.

Since the next time I'm going to see her is class next week, I'll try to change my approach. The class is boring and she usually just looks at her phone if I'm not writing her notes. Do you think the passing notes could work if I made them less funny, or should I just stop them all together?

She seems to like them and writes back right away and I can hear her giggle at what I write, but what do you guys think?
A number means nothing, nada, zip. Her mom has her number, all her friends have her number, it doesn't really mean anything.

To her you're the nice guy who helps her pass time in a boring class, you're not a challenge, you haven't reached her on a sexual or emotional level. There's no sexual tension in your interactions, you just kind of laid down and said "I like you".

You've already been categorized as her friend and there's not much you can do about it at this point. Just don't make the same mistake with the next one. It's a learning process.
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TheFreshPrince
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PostPosted: Sun Sep 18, 2011 3:47 am 
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You're sucking up to her, trying to impress her. It's not "let's go to lunch," it's "I'm going to lunch here, do you want to join me?" What's the difference? you are doing it regardless. A girl bailed on me for the bar a few nights ago. Wanna know what I did? I went to the damn bar anyways. Writing her biography? Dude you are trying to get to her with humor, and that really just won't work.

It's good to have a sense of humor, of course, but you don't want to be trying to entertain her. What I don't see in these posts are references to you touching her. Are you holding her hand, high fiving, hugging, whatever, probably the middle one would be most appropriate if you haven't done anything yet. The thing that puts guys ini the friend zone is that they try to impress girls, entertain them, or avoid seeming awkward by always staying physically far from her.

You can talk to her, just don't be her bitch. If she says hi, say hi back. If she doens't talk to you, you aren't obligated to talk to her. You sent her the invitation, now either she's acknowledges you and comes with or you go have a badass time. Hell, if she doesn't talk about it or say she's going you may as well invite another girl. Your life can't revolve around one woman.
All good points!

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naismith33
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PostPosted: Sun Sep 18, 2011 8:14 pm 
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Thanks for all the help guys. You guys are right, that she probably only thinks of me as a friend now even though we've only talked three times. I'm gonna focus on other girls now.

One question though. It may sound kinda stupid, but she usually gets to class first, so if I sit next to her it may kind of give off a vibe that I'm still chasing her, which got me into LJBF territory to begin with.

So should I sit in a different spot and then wait for her to talk to me, or should I still sit next to her and then just not do the notes anymore and say hi if she says hi first? Thanks.
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DJ_Z
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PostPosted: Sun Sep 18, 2011 8:24 pm 
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The point is, she will not affect your life in any way. Sit right next to her, but once again, don't engage her. It's about indifference. You aren't sitting next to her because you like her, you're sitting there because it was the closest open seat to teh damn door with the best view of the professor's notes.
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jpmorganjr
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PostPosted: Mon Sep 19, 2011 3:04 pm 
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Stop letting her answers dictate your actions and be your own man.
+1

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