Yo thanks for the advice! I have 2 questions for you... the first one is not a texting quesiton but is related to the girl I was talking about before. The 2nd one is a texting question.

So I'm still in the same situation w/ the girl I was talking about before. We kino a lot when we're alone or drunk, she is still flirty with me and gives me signals here and there. But I haven't got a chance to be direct with her about how I feel. I have a feeling she likes me too, but I need to get it out of her. This weekend I had some opportunities to hook up w/ her but there's this mutual friend who is in LOVE w/ her (and she knows it and doesnt feel the same about him) and he kinda cock blocked me by getting in the way of us and keeping her to himself (i could even tell she didn't like it) and I didn't wana do too much around him. I also blacked out Sat night so my plans of telling her what I wanted to say was ruined lol. So my question is, how should I bring up the fact that I wana go out with her? I know you told me to be direct about my feelings, but what's a good way to do it? I don't wana put all my cards on the table without pushing her to move a little forward too... so how can I get her to reveal her feelings too? I haven't had a gf, or wanted one, for the last 3-4 years, so I don't really remember how to ask a girl out anymore...


Second question, dealing with text game....

So I went back home 2 weeks ago, and I met a hot 39yr old stripper who I gamed the fuck out of and got her to be all over me. I got her # and we flirted back and forth, and the next day I saw her again and f-closed her. So now I'm back in ATL, but she wanted to keep in touch w/ me. I don't plan on seeing her anytime soon but I would like to keep in touch w/ her just in case the girl I like right now doesn't work out or whatever and I can fuck her when I go back home. Here are the last couple of texts we had:

Her: I'm waiting on you
Me: I'll be there in 30 mins
Her: Yay!!
Me: Monica, ur awesome! Thanks for the fun time yesterday! Did u find ur underwear? lol. Take care
Her: No i didn't its ok lol. Ur welcome. I like u. Keep in touch

..... and I didn't text back. That was 2 weeks ago. How should I keep in touch with her? If I don't see a girl, I don't like texting her about small talk... so any advice?

_________________
Some people are like slinkys, not really good for anything but make you smile when you push them down the stairs.

Hey Don, props to you for this thread, you give a lot of good info! I don't have a question of a specific texting convo, because usually my texting game is really strong. I just wanted your opinion on something though:

I recently met an awesome girl, I won't go into details, but I want to pursue her even though she'll be a few hours away from me for the next few months. I have her number and we've been texting a lot the past few days, but I think a phone call is necessary since we won't be in the same city again for a couple weeks. Do you think I should suggest a phone call to her, or do you find nothing wrong with just texting a girl for a couple weeks with no phone call or face to face interaction?

Thanks again man

Well, first things first. Create an one-on-one scenario. No mutual friends and all that associate drama.

Next, invite her out.

Finally, sit across her and tell her how you feel. Yeah, yeah I know you want her to be the one to declare her feelings and everything. But, most women still want men to take the lead when it comes to these things. And why not? You shouldn't really care about who's saying it first.

You are only interested in knowing how she feels, which you will, either way. So, for now, just focus on getting her to go with you.

Tell her that you both are going to this place on the weekend at so-and-so time.

I cannot believe why you would ever do that. She told you she likes you.

And she was most probably a very attractive woman who gets hit on, simply because of her profession.

And when you asked her about her underwear, she said it's no big deal. That was a very cool thing to do.

This woman was telegraphing interest to you, buddy and what did you do? You didn't text her for two weeks! Not good.

If she hasn't already written you off, I'd suggest you start off by saying, "Long time, no hear." or something along that lines. And here's a tip for next time : if you want to keep women on the sides, don't think of them as sleeper agents that you'll use when the need arises, they are human beings and they need some attention too. Keep in touch with them, not everyday, but at least weekly.

Good luck.

_________________
" You're born alone and you die alone and this world just drops a bunch of rules on top of you to make you forget those facts. But I never forget. I'm living like there's no tomorrow, because there isn't one. "

Thanks for the feedback. It is appreciated.

Now, to the issue at hand..

Why not both? I always say calling is the preferred means of conversation, if you cannot physically see her i.e. but she cannot always be on hand to pick up a call.. so, in that case texting works beautifully, if you know how to.

And yes, there is no harm in texting her for a couple of weeks, provided that its just a couple and that you'll eventually be calling her, or seeing her. Whatever works.

Good luck and thanks for thinking of me.

_________________
" You're born alone and you die alone and this world just drops a bunch of rules on top of you to make you forget those facts. But I never forget. I'm living like there's no tomorrow, because there isn't one. "

Thanks again for advice Don, I mistyped my invite as a question in the first post, as well. So in case you were interested, I texted her today, she politely declined because of money, but invited me out to other shows. She specified one at the end of October, the band's great but we'll see. The texting broke the ice very nicely and she was responsive. I'm sure I'll talk to her more and be able to set up a different day 2.

The funny thing is, when I first texted her, I was really nervous waiting for a response, but after a couple messages back and forth I started to get into state and contacted two other girls to set up dates, so it worked out.

Found lots of good advice in this thread, thanks for it... Hoping you can help me out here.


Met an HB9 on POF... Had a good interaction, got her number. Been txting for 2 days. Exchanging pics, etc. I thought I was going to get the meet, but as soon as I tried to set it up, I haven't heard back. Before the longest I waited for a reply was 20 minutes. Maybe every 7 or 8 messages I would interject some sort of attraction line I usually use, or one I made up. Always seemed to work. I thought I had enough comfort and attraction built up. Usually I can come up with something witty if I get a BS response or something, but I don't know what to do with dead air. Its been 2 days... The last exchange was:

Me: Let's fly to las vegas, get married, argue about our kids names, then grow old lonely n depressed
her: hahah sounds good but i need to be happy
(At this point I thought I had a genius way to transition to a meet)
Me: aha well I guess we can change the story up. lets start by you meeting me out for a drink this weeked.
her: sure
me: ive already got plans saturday, but lets set somethin up friday?

never heard back... either she thought I was going to make up another story, or my asking was too forward, or she isnt down.

any ideas? I want to msg something back, but not sound needy... Or I was thinking of just calling her friday....?

Yeah my text game is usually one of my stronger points. However, after a few days of just texting this new girl, I'm thinking that a phone call might be necessary since I won't see her again for 2 weeks. She's still very interested in me but I don't want her to get bored. Maybe I'll start a game of 21 questions or something, then she'll know I truly want to get to know her better and won't think I just act interested to keep the convo going.

Cheers again man!

Hey There,
Great thread you have here.
The situation is that she is quite a friendly girl and we are friends at a basic level, we text few times a week, chat on fb.

i just text her "hey whats up" , i just get an ok response and then i try to chat it up.
any other tips for starting the convo.

how do i build up comfort/attraction .... i just feel she would find it weird if i do anything suddenly to build it up

Yea I agree with you man, I've been trying to get her alone with me but it's been hard. Yesterday was the time when I was planning to hang out w/ her alone, she texted me and came over to hang out. But out of nowhere this mutual friend (who likes her) comes over too.... and then a bunch of other friends came over and we all went to dinner (I was planning for it to just be me and her). After that I didn't even talk to her that much and I felt as if she wasn't reciprocating when I did my touching routine. And of course after dinner that friend asks her if he could drop her off cuz he had to go back too... and she left. I knew she would have slept over w/ me if no one was there. I'm getting really fucking frustrated man..... not only am I being openly cock blocked by that guy but I never get to be alone with her anymore. And I feel as though each day I'm cock blocked and can't get to escalate with her, she's slowly losing interest. I'm always 100% comfortable with her but for some reason yesterday I wasn't with everyone around, like not at all. And I feel like she's starting to know that I like her too.... I'm really fucking pissed off man! Fuck...

You're totally right man, I didn't see it that way. She is an attractive woman and has shown a lot of interest. I kinda didn't text her because I'm really into that other girl and was focusing on her... but I'm getting frustrated about her situation so I don't care anymore. I texted her yesterday...

Me: Hi! How ya been? Hope you're doing well!
Her: Im good handsome. Good to hear from ya
Me: U too! Went to a strip club the other day, it kinda sucked... U were the best!
Her: Aw thanks! When are u coming back to ______?
Me: I dunno, maybe in a month. U'll be around right?
Her: Absolutely!
Me: Hell yea I'm gonna holler at u beautiful!
Her: I can't wait! We will have some fun again!

So hopefully she won't be writing me off anytime soon. You're right, I'll keep in touch with her weekly or bi-weekly. And it's easier than I thought. Thanks man!

_________________
Some people are like slinkys, not really good for anything but make you smile when you push them down the stairs.

Hey Don, this is a follow up on the advice you gave me with this intelligent hard to get girl I caught up with a few weeks ago. This was all on facebook message. She didn't get back to me until a week later after I asked what other skills she has.

She's giving me very short responses, I can't imagine her interest level is very high.


She gave the right response. Real mean aren't intimated. I was trying to suggest that without qualifying myself. I want to respond to her "They're not intimated. In fact they're attracted to it". I'm showing her I'm attracted to her and it's concise, without having to say to her I'm a man.. which is ridiculous. Should I go for it?

Here's the transcript so far


ME: Hey there. It was nice catching up with you today. You're much easier to talk to when you're sober.


HER: Haha it's a skill I have


ME: Oh, don't flatter yourself So what other 'skills' do you possess, if I may ask?


AFTER ABOUT A WEEK HER: So many skills lol


ME: Haha oh really? Took you some time to figure that out..Thanks for thinking of me. You're quite empowered, most men are intimidated by women like you, ya know

HER: Real men aren't intimidated

Well, it's a good thing that she was honest about the reason she wasn't coming, and well money is a pretty strong one at that too.

I think we just need time to get over that initial rush of emotions when we start interacting with a new girl. After a few days or so, we get used to having her in out lives and we get laid-back about it.

Cheers.

_________________
" You're born alone and you die alone and this world just drops a bunch of rules on top of you to make you forget those facts. But I never forget. I'm living like there's no tomorrow, because there isn't one. "

Well, two days of texting is still very, very less of a time window to built a significant amount of attraction with a girl you met on a dating site. I always tell people that when they interact with women on a platform where physical, one-on-one interaction is not possible, a greater than normal amount of time and effort is required for her to feel comfortable with your presence in her life.

Unless there's supernatural chemistry between you both, I just don't see her agreeing to see you in two days of texting.

So, for now your focus should be on establishing a basic comfort level between you two, so as to minimise the chances of her flaking on you and also, message her but don't bring it up.

You don't want to sound bitter about this incident, rather take it in your stride.

Good luck.

_________________
" You're born alone and you die alone and this world just drops a bunch of rules on top of you to make you forget those facts. But I never forget. I'm living like there's no tomorrow, because there isn't one. "

Well, you can incorporate various 'games' into your texting apart from 21 questions. Games like Guess what? Guess who? Guess where? etc.

Also, have deep conversations with here wherein she reveals some personal tidbit about her life. Those are the things that matter, jokes and flirting are just light stuff, the heavier things are the ones which have substantial emotions attached to them. Get them to reveal her secrets, talk about yours too.. build an emotional connection. It's highly rewarding when a women associates an emotional bond with you.

So, work on that. Good luck.

Cheers to you too.

_________________
" You're born alone and you die alone and this world just drops a bunch of rules on top of you to make you forget those facts. But I never forget. I'm living like there's no tomorrow, because there isn't one. "

I think the first problem here is that you're a "friend" and if she already considers you a "friend" too, at any level whatsoever, then she will definitely be uncomfortable with the suddenly apparent interest on your end towards her, because she seems fine with the status quo between you two.

Firstly, you need to get out of the "friend zone". How to do that? Check out the forum, there are a few dedicated topics to such a problem.

Good luck.

_________________
" You're born alone and you die alone and this world just drops a bunch of rules on top of you to make you forget those facts. But I never forget. I'm living like there's no tomorrow, because there isn't one. "

How can the mutual friend just come out of nowhere? He's not an omnipresent deity, he is just a guy. Make fool-proof plans. Or it could just be that the girl is letting him know. Whatever the reason, you need to give this one final attempt.

If things still look bleak, forget her. There's plenty of women in the world. And not all of them will have mutual friends who cockblock you.

Good luck with that issue.
No problems.

Just keep the higher frame, but at the same time do display some interest in her too.

And you're welcome. I'm just doing my bit.

Cheers.

_________________
" You're born alone and you die alone and this world just drops a bunch of rules on top of you to make you forget those facts. But I never forget. I'm living like there's no tomorrow, because there isn't one. "