Ive recently decided this is where my problem lies if I want to be a pua. I've been in the community for about 6 months however and never knew why I hadn't progressed.

Yesterday I got myself in a great mood, probably one of the best I've ever been in. I did this by listening to music that speaks to me and gets me in a good mood. I took a large inhaled breathe and held it in, then I let it out as if expelling the AA out of me. Then I told myself, "you cannot control me" (AA).

I went to a semi deserted part of campus and said hello to 2 people without headphones. Both guys responded and I felt great afterwards and couldn't stop smiling.

My goal everyday is to increase how many people I interact with. Then escalate to conversations, then women and them picking them up.

Edit: I want to kind of keep this as an updated journal on my progress so others can help me out and for future people.

Goodluck to everyone and their endeavors to vanquish AA

Great bro,

keep up the good work.

My battle with Approach anxiety has been possibly one of the toughest fucking battles in my life.

I think that if I had had a heart condition, I would have had a heart attack by now!

I read recently the book by Susan Jeffers, "feel the fear and do it anyway."

I have to be honest. I am not totally cured. I had a kind of day2 with a woman tonight and now I like to approach all the time when possible- but I saw a HB10 on the way back to my car- I mean she was smoking hot. I find it hard to approach HB10s because I do what Tyler Durden was saying on one of the videos- that I put her automatically on a pedestal without realising that in reality, she is just on the same level as me.

I get AA with hot babes and also after opening a really hot girl- I get massive infactuaction and fall in love straight away without even knowing the girl but I guess the more I practise the more I will get comfortable with it.

Dude!!! Good luck- keep on doing it and you will find that by approaching you will get better and better-

Bit by bit you will overcome it dude and you will find that not only does it help getting chicks but also in your normal every day life you will find that your confidence rockets.

Day 2: no progress, was way too busy. Usually after class I like to walk around campus and do some soft approaches.

A little background info: I'm in a fraternity so I'm constantly in social encounters, I'm just trying to improve my relations with women and become a conversation leader instead of a follower.

Tomorrow i have a paired party with a sorority (so many HBs!). I'll update the day after most likely.
Wish me luck!

I WUSSED out tonight (sorority pair). Over 50+ girls just waiting to dance...and i didn't do shit. I just kept saying to myself "one more drink then i'll go over" and it never happened...

Boy do i hate AA. everyone is drunk, and fuck i still can't go start a conversation with a girl.

It's amazing my personality between guys and girls...i would just go up to my brothers and mess around with them...girls, i just don't know. Should i do the same thing to get a rise/laugh out of them? I sure as hell don't know

Dude, you're over thinking your approach. I had the same problem for the longest time. I would completely freeze up. What helped me was just consciously planting myself on the floor for a moment, putting my focus on my feet in my shoes on the floor. That cut my anxiety in half every time. Then, I just admitted I was anxious. I didn't try and fight the anxiety, I didn't try and push it down. I just admitted I was anxious, and let the anxiety flow through me. Because, as I discovere , anxiety only has power when you're trying to beat it. WHen you understand that it's just a part of you, that you are anxious, and that there's nothing wrong with it. Soon the feeling diminishes. For me, when I approach someone, on a scale of 1-100, I went from like 90 to 20, and, once I start, I go from 20 to 0, and I can start and talk with any one and everyone.

I think the more I drink, the more tolerant I become of just drinking and not approaching. Tonight there's another party, this time I'm gonna try to be relatively sober and see what happens.

u are in IUB right?

I can approach women, but I don't know where parties are held.

Maybe we can help each other!

I can help u approach, and you can tell me where parties are!

tell me ur number by private message.

I had some decent success saturday. Pretty much spent the entire day/night chilling with a group of about 20 (8-10 girls, like HB 5s..) had a great time and definitely felt like i sparked an attraction within two of them. However, i knew them before that night so already had some rapport (?). Want to get better with cold approaches though!

Got another sorority pair this week i wanna prepare for too.

I don´t know but I think if you are waiting to feel totally confident before you approach then forget it.

You have to bear in mind that the fear is here and isn´t going away. Do it anyway.

Be prepared to go over, get shot down, and then wish them a nice evening and cool- but don´t wait for your fear to disappear because that isn´t, in my opinion the way it is going to happen.

However, if you do a series of approaches, your fear will start to go, because your brain quickly gets desensitized to it so after your third or fourth approach, you will be to all intents and purposes feeling much more confident.

update:

Went out today with a fellow forum member (zz). We took turns doing daygaming, both of us were kind of just asking opinion openers. I definitely felt more confident knowing i had some one next to me that knew what i was doing and wants to see me succeed as much as i want to succeed as well as him. By the last approach i wasnt feeling anxiety as all, maybe i should approach hotter chicks? haha maybe not quite yet.

Sidenote: both of us were kind of running into the problem of where to take the conversation after it has died from the opener. I would ask an opener (ie: whats your favorite season), she would response and i would ask her another question to try to get her to open up a little more..after that it would usually die though.

I'm gonna keep updating for people can watch my progress so stay tuned! (i feel like a reality series right now)

Unfortunately AA is a very prevalent problem for guys, I've had it myself for a long time. It took a lot of hard work and a long awareness gaining process to overcome it. the reason is that it's cause usually has a much deeper root.

However, I can tell you that it IS possible to overcome it. It can (should) be approached from different angles. Some of them are:

changing your beliefs about women and yourself. Becoming more present (by for example daily meditation).

Finding a life purpose and going for things that are far scarier than approaching girls (in my case this thing was quitting my career and starting a business).

Becoming aware of your thought and emotional patterns and FEELING them (as opposed to overanalyzing).

Using some powerful tools such as hypnosis or EFT to erase layers of bad conditioning.

And of course approaching, although that alone won't really solve your AA problems (unlike many say), since some of these patterns are too deep and too unconscious to be "pushed out" by acting despite of fear. This is why many guys fail to "cure" AA by just approaching (in fact it can make it worse if you push yourself too hard. Been there myself!).

Hope this helps. Questions welcome .

Ivan

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Weekend update:

Wasn't really able to go out and do some night or day game this weekend. I have a trip coming up soon that i need a date for so i'm trying to to meet girls and get enough rapport to ask one to go. It's gonna be a lot harder now that i dont have the night time "drinking scene" on my side. Guess ill have to do some day approaches and try my luck..

i feel pretty much in the same position as you man, so very interested in the progress! just remember, being scared of approaching is putting her opinion of you over your own, don't let it get you down!

beachboy1

The approach anxiety is nonsense, you just have to think, that you have nothing to lose, if you approach somebody, even if it is going to be bad. But it can't happen anything to you and you can learn a lot from this. Concentrate on having fun, not on the outcome or techniques, you use. If you get negative reactions, don't worry, be happy, that you learned what to avoid and your one step closer to success. If we really want to succeed, we can do it. Want to find out more? Visit http://seduceandattract.blogspot.com/

Facebook profile: http://www.facebook.com/seduceandattract

small update:

Haven't really done much approaching people. I feel more inclined to do it when i'm "sarging". When im by myself around campus, i just never really feel the urge to approach. Cant really explain it, its not that i don't want to, i just feel like its only something to do when im specifically looking to go around approaching.