Well, there's too little information for me to give you advice here, man.

If you could go into a little more depth about what you found "something different" in the way she texts you, I'd appreciate that.

Looking forward to hearing from you on this.

_________________
" You're born alone and you die alone and this world just drops a bunch of rules on top of you to make you forget those facts. But I never forget. I'm living like there's no tomorrow, because there isn't one. "

Just to put it in summary, the differences that i see when i read through them again were either short, or it seemed like she didnt want to talk to me. She doesn't use as much smileys as before. I take it that shes lost interest in me in a way. When i started to not talk to her via text, i posted a status on my fb that demonstrates that i have preselection. That same night that i posted it, hours later she shot me a text saying "your gaay. Goodnight". The next day(yesterday) i shot her a text and thats when i started noticing the changes. Ever since then i stopped texting her. So now the question comes in. Should i wait for her to text me, or should i wait another day or 2 then shoot her a text?

Hi,

So here's my issue, when I'v opened a girl up on Facebook etc.. I'm texting her and we're getting on really well. the next day then comes and well quite simply I run out of topical things to say. I start with hey, are you okay blah blah blah. then my mind seems to go blank and the obvious issue is she isn't going to meet a guy shes only been speaking to for a couple of days properly after meeting him on facebook.

Any suggestions on topics, things I should and shouldn't say and when the perfect time to ask her to meet you is?

Thanks

DonJuanGreaves

So I have been seeing this girl for a couple of weeks, I have just come out of a two year relationship so she has been fairly cautious as to not overstepping the mark. Unfortunately she has now gone off to university but before she went she told me that she really likes me and would like for something to happen with us if I felt the same, which I do, while this is good, it doesn't mean we are in a relationship or are exclusive. She has told me that she will be coming home every two weeks which is good. My question is, how do I keep the attraction there through text messaging? Phoning is fine but we are both quite busy and in my personal opinion I quite like getting a text message every now and again as apposed to a phone call.

Thanks in advance.

_________________
Mischief!

I see.

Well, she did bite the bait, thanks to your status. I wouldn't worry too much 'bout the "Your gaay" comment. She's just trying to get a certain reaction from you and you could have just replied with a "Sure. Thanks." like you don't give two shits and she'd be pissed off as hell, which is good. Be indifferent to her initially, she will get so confused in trying to figure you out that she'll spend a heck of a time on you.

Now, you can text her whenever you want.

Just control the conversation.

Don't get too affected by her so-called insults. She doesn't mean them.

Game her as usual. And if you think it's getting boring change the conversation.

Good luck.

_________________
" You're born alone and you die alone and this world just drops a bunch of rules on top of you to make you forget those facts. But I never forget. I'm living like there's no tomorrow, because there isn't one. "

Hello, Don Juan.

Well, the first thing to realise is that you're right. Unless she gets comfortable enough with you, she is just not going to meet you. So, I suggest spending a good week or three with her on texts and phone calls. Okay?

Now, that thing about running out of things to say? It's a petty excuse, every minute something is happening around us. Watch the television, read the papers and magazines.. there are always things to discuss. Do that.

Another good way to continue the conversation is to ask her the reasons behind her answers. I call it "Why not What Way", if you ask her her thoughts behind her choice you can get an idea of her inner working as well as, derive new conversation threads from there.

Good luck.

Thanks for thinking of me.

_________________
" You're born alone and you die alone and this world just drops a bunch of rules on top of you to make you forget those facts. But I never forget. I'm living like there's no tomorrow, because there isn't one. "

Sounds like a wonderful woman, if she's not pushing you on the mark. She's giving you your space and has actually admitted that she would like to see you both together. All good points.

Now, you can keep the attraction there or even increase it, by talking to her a lot everyday.. keep texting her, have long conversations with her.. discuss something which happened here, ask her what's happening there, share some funny story.. be romantic on one night, a little formal on the other.. there are so many sides to show to every person. Trust me, you can never run out of things to talk.

Good luck.

Keep me posted on how this went.

And you're welcome.

_________________
" You're born alone and you die alone and this world just drops a bunch of rules on top of you to make you forget those facts. But I never forget. I'm living like there's no tomorrow, because there isn't one. "

Hey, I've been texting this girl for most of last week, I met her online and got her number. We were chatting great for a while, I was teasing her about things and she was texting me 1st (which I always take a good sign) but then in the later half of the week I texted 1st as I felt it was my turn and told her the night before that I would but her replies got shorter and shorter and she was only answering my questions and not asked or making a comment herself, I eventually asked if she wanted to meet up sometime and she said "I would love to meet up some time" I said let me know and we left it there. Tho the fact that she didnt say a time and place makes me a bit concerned that I'm getting the bursh.

Is the short replys and the lack of imput of the conversation on her side a sign to move on? It happened a few times and I just dont know how to get a girl to get back into a conversation rather than me just asking questions/jokes basically all the work!

Any advice??

Hey Don! Thread looks great, I've been reading all the advice you give.

I got a really sloppy number close this past Saturday, with "so can I have your number?" as she was leaving, and said it in a big group that almost immediately got silent as she put it in my phone. The good news is, my game was excellent that night, and I had tons of social proof.

I'd met this girl once before, and from being friends with her on facebook I already knew that she goes to a lot of concerts. I'm going to one next wednesday, figured I would ask her about it this thursday, with "Hey Caroline! Its Slip, are you going to X at Y on the 21st?" then go on to invite her with me. I already plan to go with a couple female friends, so that should work well, I think.

Do you think comfort will be an issue? I should text her some that weekend, too, have a good conversation? Also what's the best way to slide through if she doesn't like the band? My texting game is solid, I just wanted to have your opinion, I don't often lead with an invite.

No. That's not.

She has explicitly said that she would love to meet you. Now, did she really mean it or was she just polite we might not be sure of it, but there is one way to find out and that is to : TELL HER TO COME OUT WITH YOU. Get it?

Look, there's a basic rule of life which can always, always be applied :

If you don't like what's being said, change the conversation.

If you think that she is discussing a topic or you are, which will eventually lead to a dead end where no one will say anything and the conversation will wilt and die, I'd recommend you to change it to something you can talk more freely about and shift her focus to that topic instead.

Also, try telling her about something which happened around you or something you saw or something you read and ask her opinion on it, and the reasons behind her answer, using that information you can work on creating more conversation threads.

Good luck.

_________________
" You're born alone and you die alone and this world just drops a bunch of rules on top of you to make you forget those facts. But I never forget. I'm living like there's no tomorrow, because there isn't one. "

Hello to you, too. And thanks for the feedback, I appreciate it.

Now, instead of telling, why don't you ask her?

Ask her what she's upto this weekend and then, tell her that she should come see this concert with you this weekend, assuming she is free. And don't bring friends with you, if she isn't. I admit having female company is a good social proof right there, but you want to create an intimacy. If she is coming alone, she will obviously expect you to be alone too. So, do that instead.

Just keep texting her the usual way and invite her (in a telling way) to the said concert. Don't worry so much about how she might find it, she'll be enjoying your company more than the band, if you play your cards right, anyway.

Good luck.

Thanks for thinking of me.

_________________
" You're born alone and you die alone and this world just drops a bunch of rules on top of you to make you forget those facts. But I never forget. I'm living like there's no tomorrow, because there isn't one. "

My take was that, rather than the AFC "so do you wanna come to this concert with me?" I would be saying "I'm already doing something exciting, come join me!"

The female situation is more that one good female friend would be bringing friends of hers that I already somewhat know. Since my invite suggests that I'm going whether she comes or not, it made sense to me to have other people there. My plan at the event was to introduce everyone, enjoy the group dynamic for a little, then distance myself from my friends and enjoy her company.

I appreciate your opinion, though. Also I'd like to ask about the timing of my invite. For simplicity, I'll use dates rather than days of the week. I met her the night of the 10th, the concert is the 21st. I was thinking invite her on the 15th, sound right? For whatever reason I feel weird inviting her out over a week in advance, but is that silly? And should I contact her before the invite date?

Draper you really are the DON!

Didn’t text her Mon due to shit day in work, not the right frame for me.

Text her this evening, wont bore you with the whole convo cause that’s one of the thread rules. Got myself in the shit several times I eventually managed to turn it on its head an make her sound like she was questioning her own intelligence, which of course I called her out on. She did give me the boyfriend Shit Test:-

HB: Lol, sweet almonds? Bar 44? But the pink wafers.. No idea. And no I’m not questioning my own intelligence, how dare you suggest such a thing! :p I can’t coffee with you, I have a boyfriend. x
Me: That’s cool… I don’t expect anything from you, so relax.. it’s just a girl and guy having a coffee what times good for you? x
HB: Lol your not going to take no for an answer are you? :p x
Me: What you think? ;p x
HB: Ha, ok …. 2? x

Now I’m back on my ground face-to-face and I’d be shocked if the boyfriend (if he even exits) would have talked to her later then me which should put me for tonight, at least, high on the priority list as suggested.

Thank you for the help.

Ken

I don't know what I was drinking when I said that, I meant TELL her, not ASK. Sorry about that.

Anyway, the whole back-up plan makes sense. But, if she indeed does show up alone you should extend that same courtesy to her, I think she'd just feel a tad uncomfortable fitting in with a group of people she has just met and would rather just prefer your solitary company.

15 sounds good. But, remember to follow up on 19th. And a little reminder on 21st morning. Just keep it short and simple. And things should go smooth. I expect you to keep that under a check, though.

Good luck.

_________________
" You're born alone and you die alone and this world just drops a bunch of rules on top of you to make you forget those facts. But I never forget. I'm living like there's no tomorrow, because there isn't one. "

Well, if she's going out with you.. it could mean two things..

The good option : She acknowledges the attraction between you two, and doesn't care about her real or imaginary boyfriend. You can build on that. Very easily.

The bad option : She's just out for coffee with that good guy who's almost a friend. In that case, she's in a mindset of "just a girl and guy having a coffee " And that's not a good option because she won't be expecting you to put the moves on her.

But, we can't be sure of that, till you've actually met her and sat down for coffee. I'd suggest you to game as usual and toe the boundaries to see where the limits lie.

And you're understanding the importance of priorities which is a good thing. Keep up the good work.

Good luck.

Don Draper is happy to help.

_________________
" You're born alone and you die alone and this world just drops a bunch of rules on top of you to make you forget those facts. But I never forget. I'm living like there's no tomorrow, because there isn't one. "