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PostPosted: Thu Sep 08, 2011 1:52 am 
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Hey everyone I am at my ropes end with this girl who I have known since april at first things were great she would always come to me to talk and flirt since then I moved on but we recently been talking alot and shes invited me to a couple of places but when it comes to moving things along its going way to slow sometimes I'm lucky to see her once a week or chat with her a few times a week. Shes 18 still in HS and I am 21 on my own, I know shes into me cus I've gone through moments in my head over and over again then I read alot of gaming books and she does show alot ioi's. I don't know what to do anymore? Right now the jealousy pawn thing I have goin on doesn't seem to be working. Quick girl description shes plain, church girl but likes rock n roll, a loner but gets along with everyone she has walls. Someone please help. I know I can win this girl.

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PostPosted: Thu Sep 08, 2011 3:55 am 
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Make it more clear what your asking, im gunna Guess you mean what the topic says, doesn't mean ill answer your lack of a question the way you want. You said it yourself you moved on, its going slow, you dont see her, you think about her all the time, a loner; based on your description of her i'd say no, your overall feelings towards her are negative (you left her once, you dont think youll see her, your vested to much to let her chase you). If you really wanted her youd put good things like "had a great time at a party with her, went on a few dates, KC'd, got her number". Just the way you talk about her says you dont want to date her.


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PostPosted: Thu Sep 08, 2011 4:34 am 
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I do want her it drives me crazy that I can't see her like normal people talking see each other she has walls sometimes its like in front of me shes upbeat and flirty then over facebook and texting shes depressed and negative. I guess the question is how do I get her to chase after me???

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PostPosted: Thu Sep 08, 2011 1:02 pm 
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So, she's a frame changer?

Well, be the frame holder, albeit with a stronger frame than hers.

You want to be able to make this girl behave the way you want her to, comprende?

Once you're able to do that, she'll be fine.

And she's just going through those motions of "just turning an adult", give her some time to wrap her head around that fact.

Also, don't over-invest in her. I can see signs which are frankly unhealthy. Remember :

"He who loves the least, controls the relationship."

Think about it.

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PostPosted: Thu Sep 08, 2011 2:32 pm 
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I do want her it drives me crazy that I can't see her like normal people talking see each other she has walls sometimes its like in front of me shes upbeat and flirty then over facebook and texting shes depressed and negative. I guess the question is how do I get her to chase after me???
Like Don said your not really gunna be able to get her to chase you, you sound kinda desperate and very invested into JUST HER, with that attitude she will control everything about you, and you will chase her.


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PostPosted: Fri Sep 09, 2011 1:26 am 
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Great advice guys its good to catch this early, so what do I do now I thought I was on the right track and going by the book but obviously I got off track so what do I do now??? Please advice me.

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PostPosted: Fri Sep 09, 2011 9:31 pm 
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Great advice guys its good to catch this early, so what do I do now I thought I was on the right track and going by the book but obviously I got off track so what do I do now??? Please advice me.
Find another girl, for one. Preferably many. This should be your first and biggest priority.

About this girl, Don simplified the situation to its fundamentals really well. Control the frame. Contact her half as much as she contacts you. If she contacts you and seems unhappy, enforce a "No bitching" rule. With one girl I know, anytime she complains (fairly often) I made a condition that she not only has to stop, but also I get to ask a question and she has to be positive through her whole answer. For example, one conversation went (this is very much paraphrased):
Her: Ugh I fucking hate my parents.
You: Nope. Stop. No bitching. So what was your first kiss like?
Her: It was awful! Haha I guess I can't say that. He was cute and didnt know what he was doing.


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