Multi-part question---I suppose I would consider myself intermediate which means I can offer advice, but still need it too!

I have found myself calibrating right during the opener. I even mock walk away during the opener to see if they keep shit going as evidence of an IOI....

Two approaches today as example-

Book store nerd girl, used an opinion opener but got no IOI, so I just said, thanks and didn't push the set any further.

I also got a double take from someone else in the book store, easily a 9 and then fucking lost her when I opened this set. FUCK! I wish I could have found her after. If a double take isnt an IOI I don't know what the hell is.

Second in Target, cute blonde, opinion opener, I turn slightly and even walk out of sight while she kept talking.... I turn back and resume the set. Definite IOI imho.

It's almost like I am so pressed for time I hardly wait for their answer. I start and then they give answers, I start to body rock half way through and then start walking.....Am I abandoning sets too easy in the approach? Should I just plow through and not worry about IOI until later?

Just so you know I used a modified MM opener.

Me: "Hey- real fast, settle something for me, I took this stripper out (this is actually true) and we got into this whole thing about who lies more, men or women...what do you think?"

Normally I get at least a smirk and raised eye brow here and answer- "I don't judge her for what she does, only who she is, so what do you think"

Her: blah blah blah

Me: Yeah- well that's why I am not talking to her anymore.

ect ect ect

Am I abandoning sets too easy in this approach? Like if I don't get at least one IOI I fucking eject. I suppose it is my way of avoiding rejection, I know when a ship is going to sink...

I am also having a tougher time getting them to qualify. As in it feels kind of uncomfortable. Anyone got any inner game shit they can throw my way for this? I have literally done nothing but study game stuff for 2 weeks. In fairness in my part of Maryland we had an earthquake, hurricane and now flooding so my finances were drained so I used the time to study and I know the material inside and out...that said with day game, qualifying can be a bit much...

I will say this: I look at this as though I am learning archery. I am not going to hit the bulls eye right away, but if I keep going Ill get closer and closer and eventually be 5 for 5. My body language is getting a lot of results too....I got female friends who won't stop talking about fucking me and girls in my office who won't stop groping me....yeah...no means no LMAO. I am getting there damnit!

"Yeah that`s why im not talking to her anymore"
That`s just disgusting.She thinks to herself that having sex with you will result in her being judged.

_________________
When you realize that rejection doesn`t mean shit you`ll try to find a way how to kick your own ass for being an idiot.

How exactly were you able to equate sex with this statement? As a matter-of-fact the previous statement contradicts this sentiment. I think you are missing the nuance of the interaction and pointing out a perceived flaw that has nothing to do with the the questions I asked.

This statement was meant to convey three things. One- I am not afraid to walk away. Two- because our values (the stripper and I) didn't sync I did walk away. This also shows I am used to being around attractive women and their physical beauty hold little sway over me. Where you got sex and judging, I have no clue.

If however you would care to elaborate on the slight, please do.

Bump- for actual advice.

well it is refreshing to see you are approaching man, good work, you don't have to if you're not comfortable but maybe you should try going direct off of approach invites, if a girl is checking you out, or touching her hair around you, just tell her whats on your mind about her, keep focus of the interaction on having fun, and keep the subject of the interaction her, do not allow her to shift the subject to you, she will eventually just qualify by default and you can capitalize, be really touchy, if she is rude cut her down with a rapport break, just neg or make some sort of shot at her status or witty re-frame, w/e your style is, if you are not into going direct, you might want to drop your dhv opener, the idea of verbalizing dhv's in my opinion is to do it subtley in story telling, or to ask for advice on an issue that has dhv spikes, your opener seems like your not really doing either, you are just trying to qualify yourself to the girl and inbeding a subtext that you are a judgemental person,

just keep in mind if you are talking about yourself, and it is not in a context of a story, you are in the process of qualifying yourself, qualifying = trying to impress, trying to impress = seeking approval, every now and then it is fine, if you are seeking commonalities, but qualifying early on is like insta death, should be like gain attraction BAM now all about her, she won't talk about her? well no attraction then, easyiest way to get attraction, get invite and go direct, then you can interview the shit out of her and lead, if thats not your style, teasing her having fun and telling cool storys will get some attraction, also making her horny usually will do the trick as well (hint kino/sexual framing)

I did the online thing for awhile, but deleted all of my profiles, it was crutch. And- I knew enough of the game to approach and run through everything. HAD TO go out and do it. I normally average 15-30 approaches a week. Handful of day two's. Don't get me wrong- I am a little ahead of most guys in here, my lays are at least in the double digits, I got a good sense of fashion and look pretty good, I just wanted to take my game to the next level and REALLY go after gold because I know I am.

I normally go for the DHV opener, I kill two or three birds with one stone doing that. I do see your point about sexually framing. I suppose some things I could have said to the book nerd for instance...

Noticing her book on physics...

"Hmmm...I love a girl that can talk nerdy to me."

or

"Just shut up- you had me at quasi-stellar radio source." LOL- homage to 'Jerry Maguire"

I see your point about the opener, maybe just an indirect would be best and then go direct....there is always a debate within the community about direct/indirect, but I don't think they have to be mutually exclusive and if you do mix, you can add a sense of mystery to yourself...just my opinion though.

I suppose I could go opinion without DHV- which I did with the blonde and yielded results, then go with something like.... "I like that answer; you seem cool, what sets you apart from the crowd, let's see if we click (not field tested)....then go into disqualification, from C1 on, I am pretty golden, but A1-A3 is always a bitch for me for some reason...probably because I used online gaming so I already had it taken care of ahead of time. For some reason though, I think a pre-IOI calibration is the way to go before opening. Low risk, you know she already likes you and it will let the set run smoother. Maybe it's just me. A lot to think about and retool. Thanks for the help brobot.

Maybe the problem is your frame of mind. You open girls with the perspective of "does she like me? Is she giving me IOIs?"

This makes you too outcome dependent. Just relax, nothing has to happen. Instead, open her with a frame of mind like "is she interesting? Does this girl have something to offer me? Does she have the qualities which I seek in girls?"

This will change your attitude. You will release pressure, because you will feel that you don't have to impress girls and that you don't have to do all the effort, but that the girls should impress you and that they have to put effort as well. It gives you a cool, confident and laidback attitude which girls often like. If it's not going well, then she is probably not the girl you seek.


You're doing well. It seems that you cross boundaries by opening girls, and that's good. Keep at it. Do not forget that the most important thing is to have fun. Girls don't necessairly mean more fun and happiness. Don't put too much pressure on yourself to get her to like you. Be laidback, open a girl, and look if she's interesting enough for you.

_________________
You WANT to make a change.
You CAN make a change.
You WILL make a change.

Ambitious to be succesfull => Shyler

Good shit man- REALLY good shit. I think I'll try reaffirming this on my next approaches. I'll try to make a couple today, but Fridays are normally hell on earth for me, but, what the hell.

I think you hit the nail on the head though- the reason I didn't use direct qualifiers like "Beauty is common" ect ect ect is because I was worried they wouldn't like it. Fuck it. Jimmy crack corn, I don't care.

Tomorrow, stepping out with a pivot friend and a wing friend, I know then I'll do alright.