I just dont know where to start with all this really. Im 20 years old and ive known about pick up for about a year or so. Ive read the game and rules of the game, as well as various self help books.

The thing is tho that im really shy, like painfully shy. I think i have a bit of an anxiety disorder. I find it really hard to make conversation with people, it just feels so unnatural to me.

I also find it really hard to get motivated. I just feel so lazy all the time.

Im been with quite a few girls, but they were all fat. Im quite good looking im told so i can attract these kind of girls without having any real good conversation with them. But im fed up of living like that. I need to get with hot girls and actually feel like ive acheived something.

Basically i just need advice on what i should do to boost my confidence before i start actually using PUA material as i have no real inner game.

Can anyone help?

You want to boost your confidence before you start using PUA material? Is that what Style did? Or did he start using PUA material first. Even though he doubted it could possibly work for him since he was short, skinny, with thinning hair, glasses, etc.

First use whatever material you want. Start getting results. Then your confidence will increase.

And I can hear you asking, "but what if it doesn't work?" Hey, sometimes it will, sometimes it won't. You might approach 10 women and get nothing more than a few short friendly conversations. That's a huge failure, right? Wrong! That's a huge success. That's practice. That's the building block. That's a thousand times better than staying home and doing nothing. Now go do it 10 more times and work on improving what you're doing.

It's just like a musical instrument. You don't need a lot of confidence to learn to play a guitar. You need a guitar, a few lessons, and a lot of practice. And then you get better. This is not magic. We are humans and we are good at this shit. We have huge amazing brains. And we have hot sexy bodies. We rock!

Finally, if you honestly think you have anxiety disorder, see a therapist/shrink/whatever and get help with that issue, because it will hold you back until you address it. If on the other hand it's just normal social anxiety and shyness, start slow. Smile and say hi to girls you pass throughout your day. See for yourself that most of them will just smile and say hi back, especially when they see that you don't want anything, you're just a friendly guy. Build on that knowledge and confidence. Take it a step at a time.

Good luck and have fun. This is one of many challenges you will face in your life. Face them all fearlessly, with courage and the conviction that you can do it if you try. And if you fall flat on your face, get up, dust yourself off, laugh, and try again.

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Become a Zen PUA: "The Zen of Meeting Women"
http://zenpua.com

Everything that Snubby is saying here is right on. You got to go out there more find out where all the hot spots are around you. Since your tired of the fat girls your getting try visualizing a goal for the one you want to get not jack off about it or anything dont imagine the sex part imagine getting that girl to chase after u man imagine really turning her out and making her work for u. You can do something for yourself man your on the right track dont worry shyness is very simple negativity that CAN be turned off.

Its all in your mind bro. She does want to work for you she does want to Qualify herself and Impress you she just dont know it yet! And as far as mental issues bro Im right with u. I have ADHD and have sufferred many years with anxiety depression mood changes and trouble in my academic and social lifes because of this. It is something that can be overcome man you can tackle it every time it hits you hard you can hit it back harder there are ways to fight it and it IN NO WAY makes you a worse person

. I would go out 6-7 times a week and study game videos maybe 2-3 times a week and you will get better. At least 5 approaches a day. Use the LAS VEGAS model too man it really does help!

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aiden k. baker

Everything of the above s true. Use material. Do it. That's what I'm doing. I have yet to go do nightgame with it, but even in daygame some of this stuff works. Really.

Take out a piece of paper, draw a line down the middle.

On the right hand side write "Exposing myself to the awkwardness of social interaction"

On the left hand side write "Being as shy and awkward for the rest of my life and never ever finding a girl"

Put the paper down. Imaginge how much either of these situations would suck. Really imagine which one will be the worst.

Realize it.

Understand it.

Make the decision.

Take the one (hopefully left hand side) and burn it, watch it go up in flames.



This way, you have made your choice, to avoid that, you need to practice.



Then for the actual practice. Realize that whatever happens during the first half year of training is just that, TRAINING. It doesnt matter. It is like practicing for a weightlifting competition, you dont need to lift the maximum weight from the start, it is ok to suck, It is not important.

So if it is not important, you can go out there with the intention to fail and learn from your mistakes.

Just remember, it doesnt matter how bad you fail, the important thing is that you learn from it.

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I'm not trying to be a dick Ezo, but you're being a Pick Up Snob in my opinion.

bbardot: you just reminded me about porn

Thanks guys for all the advice. Your all right about what needs to be done. My motivation levels have already gone up, i just need to get out there and do this.

Just wondering tho, does learning game raise your confidence just with women and making friends? or can it raise your confidence in other areas of your life as well?

Im currently at college and ive to give all these presentations. Can learning this stuff and going out and meeting women improve my confidence for these kind of things as well?

the best way is to start approaching and approaching, after a while you will not be affected by rejection, experience is the best teacher, get a good mentor, there is a guy here name wrapped minds or something like that, for me he is one of the best in this forum.

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Learn the proper way to maximize your results in a dancefloor/club environment, check out my blog and youtube channel:
http://www.dancefloorseduction.com

Dancefloor/Club game youtube channel:
http://www.youtube.com/dancefloorseduction

So approaching (even just asking for the time) people all the time really will build up confidence?

And does that wrapped minds guy actually tell you what you need to do? I might try get in contact with him if thats the case cause i really need some help.

Yes! i think style also has an instructional book, that walks you step by step and start by instruction you to ask for direction and the time... i think is lifestyle challenge that comes with the style diary... Contact wrapped minds, i think he coaches for dirt cheap or free i don't know, but he is in my opinion one of the best here...

_________________
Learn the proper way to maximize your results in a dancefloor/club environment, check out my blog and youtube channel:
http://www.dancefloorseduction.com

Dancefloor/Club game youtube channel:
http://www.youtube.com/dancefloorseduction

Where do you guys sarge?

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aiden k. baker

I sarge solo, in South Florida...

_________________
Learn the proper way to maximize your results in a dancefloor/club environment, check out my blog and youtube channel:
http://www.dancefloorseduction.com

Dancefloor/Club game youtube channel:
http://www.youtube.com/dancefloorseduction

Your homework wont finish itself. Its the same attitude toward women. And vice versa. All the guys on here giving you advice had to go out and stop doubting and worrieng and just do it. And guess what all of us still to some degree have problems with women. We got to deal with these females too. But we know enough to keep pushing and get laid. So what game will do is give you a boost in that confidence. You still have to do the work though of course.

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aiden k. baker

Damn dude u ever come out to LA? Me and my wing out here we sarge with Vince kelvin sometime! Lol

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aiden k. baker

You must have social anxiety.

Best way to eliminate it is by talking to people, alot.

Start by asking the time, directions, etc.