I'll make it short, the question is.. Was the pushishment harsher than the crime? In other words.. Did I over react?

So my girlfriend and I are laying up in bed after sex this morning and out no where she asks me a personal question about something that happened to me that only few people know about. I respond " how do you kno about that". She lies saying " I heard it from a friend of a friend". She continues telling different lies as I keep pressuring her to tell the truth. Finally she comes out and says " ok ok I was lookin thru your phone when you were sleep and read some of your poems(in one of my poems I spoke about it.)" I instantly follow up with indifference. She start excessively apologizing.

I say " the only way to make this right with me is let me check thru your phone right now" She defends herself with " 2 wrongs don't make a right, that's no fair blah blah blah" I tell her " if you leave my house without letting me check your phone things will never be the same with us" she pretty much jus puts her pride up and I tell her she can leave. ( I know for a fact she isn't talkin to anyone else, she works, goes to school and still sees me 5-6 days a week") it's just principle

She texted me saying sorry again and she called me and said sorry. I've been pretty much cold. All I said was " you value your pride more than your relationship, dont be sorry. That's just how you are" I remained quiet while she tried explaining and then I said bye.

Am I being unfair? I think it's only right.

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She did not let you go through her phone SHE IS HIDING SOMETHING, maybe she talk crap about you, or there is some flirting or something with someone else, if a girl does not let you go through her phone i guarantee you she is hiding something bad..P.S. the best way to catch a cheater is the cell phone...

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While I'm not of the same opinion as skills360, I think you were in the right. Going through someone's shit is a major breach of trust. You named your price for forgiveness - and the price was perfectly fair - and she didn't pay it. Her sorries don't matter; she has to win your trust back somehow (obviously not through showing you her phone now, she could have deleted any bad shit on it by now).

So if that's possible (winning back your trust), tell her what she has to do. If not, kick her to the curb or at least reconsider her as an LTR. She may not have been cheating on you, but she lied to you and broke the trust you and her had by searching on your phone. That's huge.

That's my 0.02$

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Ok cool I'm glad I'm not crazy lol.. You completely understand where I'm coming from. That was the reason i said, if you leave my house without showing me your phone, things will never be the same... I honestly don't know how she could win back my trust but if I do come up with something it'd have to be a lot harsher than the 1st request.

Never the less, I move on quick anyway. I gave her a chance.

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I never said she was cheating but she is hiding something that she did not want you too see on the phone.

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She crossed a boundary and you let her know it. Now I'm not a fan of the searching through her phone as a punishment (seems a bit on the childish side to me) but overall you did the right thing.

She behaved poorly and you let her know you won't tolerate it. Relationship management 101. Nice job!

This chick won't take responsibility for anything. Smh

She texts me she loves me bla blah blah..

Calls me 3 times i didn't see it.. Finally I call her back she starts acting like nothing happened. I'm like " don't you have something to say?" she's like "huh" I hang up on her. She calls back " did you just hang up on me!!?" I'm like "Yes. I did. Shes like " don't ever talk to me again blah blah blah.." (click) I hang up again. She texts me "you can delete my number cause i don't wanna deal with you anymore". I reply " ok. I wish you the best" she responds " k cool, I'm deleting you from everything". I don't reply.

Smh lol

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fuze...

indifference NOW

that is all.

good luck.

go with indifference. stick to it. mean it. feel it. believe it. don't just act it.

this girl is about to show her true colors. for all to see.

your indifference will be what pushes her over the edge.

you are either going to find out she is madly in love with you,

because if she is she will do anything to make it right...

ONCE...

she realizes you are pretty much done.

OR...

you will see that she is full of shit and deceitful and a future fuck-buddy at best.

this girl breached your trust, buddy.

can you reeeeally go on like nothing happened?

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Pretty sure that girl is dust in the wind, Mack.

Fuze, did the right thing, man. Well done.

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Bad relationship advice. She is your GF not some random skank. I have been in long relationships and I know girls are extremely jealous, maybe she was looking for something cuz you are acting sketchy or she is stupid and thinks it is ok to go through your personal stuff. You told her it was wrong and she seems to understand. You and her are acting immature, lead by example man. Don't hang up and delete her. You told her what you how you felt about the incident and she is most likely to embarrassed to bring it up. So if you like her, forgive her, and if she slips up again...toss her. Over reacted? In my opinion yes, it's your GF. And I'm assuming here that you make girls into girlfriends when you actually like them and want to keep em around.... It was one minor thing that may have been innocent. Did u ask why she went into your phone?

+1

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1.is her lying about how she found out
2 is her going through your phone.
3.is not showing you her phone ( won't matter if she shows you now as anything she was hiding will have surely been deleted)
4.Is her being very very immature and basically spiting up with you.

Yeah maybe you did overreact but she's shown her true colours now and it looks like you've dodged a bullet here. NEXT

Let me tell you my story maybe it will help you relate: With my current girlfriend, she went through my phone, and every time she went through my phone i got caught, she loved me and she was insecure and she knew i was a big time player, if you do not show them your phone she will assume you are hiding something, so is kind of a lose lose situation... Couple of girls refuse to show me their phone, once was hiding a pregnancy from me, another one was hiding a text saying i love this guy but i do not see myself walking in the altar with him, some shit like that... With that being said you punish bad behavior, which is good, and you set boundaries, this is not enough reason to break up, is up to you and how you feel, again UP TO YOU, stop listening to people, make your own decision... I stay with my girl, 5 years later, looking back the whole shit was stupid and misunderstanding and i overreacted, kind of the same way you did, but everybody is different and every girl is different...

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This helped..Thanks.

We resolved it last night, everythings fine.

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