Listen to this pathetic situation.

I've been dating this girl for a year. We're not officially in a relationship but we act as if we were one. Basically anything I do, she copies.

I don't log in on facebook for a few days, she doesn't log in too exactly after she notices I've been gone for 2 days (shes a regular user and its obvious when she doesn't use it).

A few female friends add me on facebook, she adds a bunch of random dude exactly after, where she usually rarely adds anybody. You might say that this is immature cause its online, but thats why I'm asking for your opinion.

What bothers me is this. I've started to get into clubbing lately, I used to hate it but I found its fun side. She LOVES clubbing and used to go regularly and she also knew that I hated it. Last week I went clubbing everyday and had a great time. Today I learn that she went clubbing all week too. Not only that but shes been hitting on guys and becoming more and more distant from me.

Any ideas as to why she might be doing this? To be honest I feel that I've lost my challenge and shes "winning".

After almost a year of dating, a girl is starting to think "this guy really likes me", and in her mind, you're sort of in a relationship, even if it's not "defined". She sees you hitting on other girls, she's jealous. But she can't express it to you because you're not "officially involved". So her reaction? Hit on other guys to get back at you. If you want this girl, clean up your act and express more interest in her, or you're going to lose her fast.

_________________
Jazzy Jeff: "My love for you is like a river,
Like a summer breeze that makes my soul shiver,
One look from you is more precious than gold,
Let's grab some BBQ and go get busy!"

I don't flirt with other women, I act friendly with them, they're my friends after all. Shes the one dancing with guys in clubs all drunk and who knows what she does whilst I hold back with other women not to hurt her. Should I tell her that I'm not okay with her clubbing everyday? But then again who am I to stop her?

All I want is for me to be more involved in her life. If she has a problem she should be able to come talk to me about it

Yeah, you're not in any position to tell her anything.

But it's not what you're doing she's reacting to. It's what she thinks you're doing. Adding girls on Facebook? Going to clubs? She thinks you've got other girls on the side, regardless of whether or not you do.

_________________
Jazzy Jeff: "My love for you is like a river,
Like a summer breeze that makes my soul shiver,
One look from you is more precious than gold,
Let's grab some BBQ and go get busy!"

Sorry for the late reply.

So if I tell her something like "I don't know how I should feel about you clubbing everyday" when, and only when, the subject comes up, will it backfire on me?

I am really appreciating the help.

Why spout all that non-sense when you can just tell her, "Listen. I think you've misconstrued a few things about my behavior. I want you to understand that you, and only you are the woman I am interested in. In any way whatsoever. Everyone else I meet? They are just people. They are not you. I don't feel half as much about them, as I do about you."

That should set you on the right path. And her too, hopefully.

_________________
" You're born alone and you die alone and this world just drops a bunch of rules on top of you to make you forget those facts. But I never forget. I'm living like there's no tomorrow, because there isn't one. "

I will definitely give that a shot thanks.

Since we are not together and can't really do anything because we are not defined, I think by talking to her I wouldn't be going out of line.

If anyone else has more advice please do make yourselves heard. I am appreciating every little bit.

Well that didn't exactly work. Now she still intends to party everyday (she is partying the very moment I am writing this ironically). Her friends have such an influence over her. Thoughts?

I think this forum needs a sub-forum called "Oneitis" or "There's this one girl . . .".

The real problem here is that you've placed all your eggs in one basket. If a girl is acting sketchy, flakey, bitchy, whatever, ask yourself, what would I do if I knew I had 5 other women interested in me. Would I be putting up with this? Would I even care?

If the answer is yes, well, I guess go work on fixing your relationship. But I can tell you right now the more reactive you are to her games, the more she's going to play them.

If the answer is no, well, go create that abundance.

I can tell you from experience, when I have more than one woman in my life, it makes the little games seem silly. I just blow them off. In those times when I've been locked into a serious relationship with one woman, her bullshit would have much more effect on me.

Maybe she needs a "time out" while you go meet more women.

Good luck.

_________________
Become a Zen PUA: "The Zen of Meeting Women"
http://zenpua.com

Do you know how she knows you're doing all this? are you posting things on facebook sayin that you're going to the club every night etc, or you think its one or some of your friends tellin her? Id try to figure that out first. Even if she texts you asking what you are doing just be indecicsive, freeze her out, or give her a hoop.
her: what you doin tonight?
1. (dont reply)
2. idk/somethin fun
4. what you doin? >then you could copy her. see how she likes it. mwahaha
5. at cooking class with a few friends>if shes really a copy cat itl drive her nuts to find out where it is or where another one is. then she'll go to one haha

Its more of an ego thing than onetitis, even from her side. Its like we challenge each other to see who is living the better life. However I agree that I'm not exactly a pro in this PUA business and can be upset by said little games.

I rarely post anything on facebook, and she also rarely texts cause she knows I need my independence.

i would break up with her or tell her that i was only interested in her as a fuckbuddy.

when she asks why?

simply reply: look, we have good chemistry. but if i wanted to be continuously antagonized, i would date my little brother.

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what dr. house brings to medicine, i bring to everyday life (an extreme dose of cynicism), don't listen to the curmudgeon!