Quote:
Another question...
I don't want to be the one making first contact every time. We have only talked once since Thursday, because she went to a music festival over the weekend. That was on Saturday and because I texted her, we only exchanged a couple of texts and then I stopped.
I'm trying to avoid contacting her too much, because I don't want to pull or seem desperate. When I do contact her, I keep it light and try to joke around.
I want to get her trying to initiate contact. But, how can I do that?
You have a mild case of onitis:
ONE-ITIS—noun: 1. an obsession with a girl whom one is not dating; pickup artists believe that such an extreme fixation on one woman significantly lowers a man's chances of dating or sleeping with her. 2. a girl with whom one is obsessed. Origin: John C. Ryan.
You need to get other girls, you have to assume that this one is lost forever, and work from that angle, to girl a girl you must be willing to lose a girl!!!!!!! Read rule number 1:
The 9 Immutable Laws of Pick-Up
By Roosh
1. If you find yourself having to ask for advice on how to get a particular girl, you won’t get her.
I mentioned this before in Be That Guy
I was trying to bang this girl and she was being very flakey and taking forever to get back to me. I asked my friend what I should do about it and we proceeded to go over my options after I told him everything that had transpired so far.
At the end I thought, “Is she doing this with her friends right now? Is she asking her friend how to get with me? Is she asking her friend how to get me to stop flaking?”
Of course not.
I looked back even farther and noticed that with almost every girl I asked a friend advice for, I didn’t eventually bang her. When you are prepared to ask advice on how to deal with a particular girl, what you’re doing is valuing her, and that’s the fastest way to not bang her. Some of the emails I get are mini-books where the guy painfully details the situation he’s suffering through and then asks for help. I’ll give it but I know the situation isn’t going to turn out in his favor. The reason he’s asking is because he already lost the upper hand by making a ton of mistakes.
To improve your game what you should do instead is ask for advice after the fact. Do the best you can then after you fail ask a buddy what he would have done differently. Learn from your mistakes once you’ve given your all, because if you find yourself needing to ask advice during the seduction, I’m sorry but you’ve already lost her. Take a big step back and go meet another girl instead.
Play the game with what you have learned from the past. Don’t be a pussy and give blow-by-blow details to your buddy hoping it will somehow help you.
2. If a girl hasn’t had sex in a month, she will be 10 times easier than if she had sex in the past week.
I don’t want to kill myself when it comes to getting laid. I paid my dues when I was learning and now I just want to put the minimal amount of effort in getting quality girls.
It’s rare that the hottest girl will be the most horny—she always has a steady supply of dick that she can access. Banging her depends just as much on luck and timing than actual game. Try your hand with her every now and then, but keep in mind that screening for horniness is just as important as personality and beauty. If the girl you’re dealing with has gotten laid recently, there will be no sense of urgency and the iron will be too cool for you to get inside her pants quickly.
For example, say I met an 8 in a popular nightclub. She has suitors all around her and every ten minutes she glances at her cell phone to read a text message from one who is badly trying to fuck her. She just got laid two nights ago by one of her ex’s. The next day I met a 7 in a coffee shop, a talkative girl who didn’t break eye contact with me in the hour that we chatted. She showed more interest. Who should I put more energy into?
In reality you’ll have energy for both girls so you’ll call them up the same day, but what will happen is the 7 will accept and the 8 will say maybe. The point is you won’t be doing your dick any favors by only chasing girls who have a lot of options and get laid regularly. Horniness is an important dimension to screen that gets your notch count up into stratospheric heights.
3. You’re not going to be good unless you reach a point where you feel that pick-up is a job.
One night you have to be knee deep in another sausage fest surrounded by girls with attitude and think, “God, not this shit again.” Like any other skill, pick-up has a wall that must be smashed through if you want to get to any level of consistency. Understand: There is nothing fun about getting rejecting by tons of women, but that’s the only way to improve. Just suck it up and keep going.
4. The opener is the least impactful part of the pick up.
I’ve gotten laid with the most ridiculous openers known to man, ones that are grammatically incorrect and void of depth, meaning, or feeling. Most of my regular openers are downright boring and nothing that would bat an eyelash to a man who is learning how to get laid, but I understand that the opener doesn’t get me laid—it only serves as an icebreaker. Human beings are electrons floating in their own orbits, and openers simply contain enough energy to cause a collision. You want to go from being a nobody in her world to someone who exists and has a presense.
That’s great if you have a solid opener, but the last thing you should do is hesitate because of a lack of one. The real value lies in what you follow up with, which will begin to introduce her to your personality and vibe, two important things that get you in her pants.
5. The men you surround yourself with do more to predict your future results than your knowledge of game.
There are quotes I’ve read that go something like “Show me a man’s friends and I’ll show you his character,” and “Show me a man’s friends and I’ll show you his future.” Same goes for pick-up. For a variety of reasons (someone to talk to about game, someone who gets you in the right mood, someone whose success motivates you, etc.), having a man that is achieving or wants to achieve the same goals as you are will do more to help you than mere knowledge.
I have received tons of emails of guys who got into the game and complain that their friends are questioning their new lifestyle choices, that they hesitate to approach because their friend isn’t into it. I tell them to go out alone. Game is already hard enough to master, but now you have to get judged by your “friend” as well? This prevents you from action and leads to a low notch count.
6. You will get flaked on until you die.
Expecting the girl to do anything—whether it’s returning your call or showing up on a date—assures disappointment. Understand that girls are flake machines, and will continue to do so until the end of time. As long as human beings have the ability to change their mind about something, girls will change their mind on you. While there are things you can do to reduce this, you will never eliminate it completely.
One solution to to the flake problem can be found in The Secret To Getting Laid:
If you want to have sex with one girl, you must do X number of approaches, get Y numbers, go on Z dates, and so on, where Z is less than Y is less than X. A certain number of attempts equals one lay, and that number will always be greater than one, sometimes significantly so. Tell me how many fresh prospects are in your phone and where your game is at and I’ll tell you how many notches you’ll get in the next month.
The guys who are doing it wrong only work on one girl at a time. Since odds are that girl will flake, they will have to “start over” after each attempt, never building that crucial momentum which is important in getting laid. When I’m ready for a new notch, I go into a sort of “on” mode, approaching like crazy, getting a handful of numbers, and then working on all of them at the same time.
If I get 10 numbers this month and only bang one, did I fail? I think not—twelve notches a year adds up pretty quickly. Now say I got one number, worked on it for a couple weeks, and then got another number, and worked on that for a couple weeks, and I did this ten times until I get that one lay. That’s five months for the bang because I kept going all-in on each girl. Because of the flakey nature of girls, you must multi-task and have many pots simmering on the stove at once.
7. Pick-up difficulty is relative and depends on venue selection.
Ugly girls and hot girls are easy to pick up if there are other hotter girls around, but things get dramatically harder when those hotter girls disappear. And that’s just from the perspective of the girls. If we account for your unique personality and look, thing continue to change. How come I can’t get laid in Georgetown, but I go to U Street and pull regularly? Because the girls that go to those places are different, and different girls will perceive me differently.
I have discovered places within cities that my success rate is more than ten times higher. In the same city! If you don’t know which places you do better in, then I guarantee you’re seeing a lot less success than you could somewhere else with the exact same game. As much work should go into venue selection as actually learning how to game girls.
8. You will go home empty-handed if you pass on the sure thing.
If one night you have both a sure thing and a “maybe” with another girl, always go for the sure thing. It’s never happened in the history of the world that a man got something after skipping on the sure thing, partly because the mere act of skipping on the sure thing for some other girl means you’re overvaluing the better girl. Bad game will leak out as a result.
Don’t worry, they’ll another be another opportunity to upgrade next time, but on this night, go ahead and get your dick wet. As a man who has lost count of how many times I skipped over the sure-thing and got nothing, trust me when I say that the other girl won’t put out. You’ll get a number at most. This partially goes against my philosophy that you should pick the girl and not let her pick you, but when guaranteed sex is at play it’s okay to put that aside.
9. The more you work, the more you’ll get.
Fuck all those people who say you shouldn’t work for it, that you should just sit back and be cool and let things happen. They’re just rationalizing their paltry results. If they were right then there wouldn’t be large readerships for blogs like mine and a market for dozens of pick-up books, CD’s, and seminars. Doing nothing except praying and wishing and feeling sorry for yourself doesn’t work. Getting a good job or condo or being intelligent is not enough.
CHAT
I've already picked up Double Your Dating and read it 