So.. I really need you guys help on this one. It would mean very much to me to get some response on this situation!

Theres this girl, lets call her Kim. Kim is that kind of special "fall-in-love" girl, and theres a lot of boys that flirts with her, and she happily flirts back. She NEVER kisses anyone tho, which is because all the guys trying to get her are way too AFC in their approach.

I make music, and she sings. So about a year ago we start making music together, we meet up about every 2 months and she sings on my tracks. The sessions starts to grow more intense (Deep eye-contact, deep conversations, flirting). One night when we make music I decide this is gonna be the night Im gonna kiss her. It doesnt happen because I pussy out, and I write her a fucking pussy text-message right after she leaves, saying Im sorry if I act a little weird when Im around her, but thats because Im intrigued by her. She responds that shes actually finds me quite interesting too, and says that I give her something nobody else does. Thats quite a compliment, considering shes the most hard-to-get girl Ive ever known.

That was 6 months ago.
We lost contact somehow during the spring/summer, and god knows I regretted it.

2 weeks ago, she texts me cause shes in Los Angeles, (and we made a song about LA). Cupid strikes me once again, and I think to myself "YES! ITS BACK ON!"

Couple of days later I text her that we should get together, cause I got a track that she should sing on. She complies, and we meet up yesterday.

Its a bit awkward at first, but thats a given, I mean we basically declared some sort of feelings for each other and then stop all contact for 6 months. But as the night progressed, we slowly got into more deeper conversations, and we had some insane deep, mesmerizing eye-contact. Somehow we end up talking about romance, and she says this very important thing: "I never take the first step with a guy, but I tried it lately. I could let it slip away like I normally do, but I didnt want this to end."

Right when she said that, it hit me that "OMFG she might very well be talking about me!"

Now my mind was in complete disarray. She could very well be giving me a strong hint that I should kiss the fuck outta her. OR she couldve been talking about some other guy, which would be the worst thing ever!

So because of the possibility that she could be talking about another guy, I didnt dare go for the kiss.
She left a little whiler later, and Ive been punching myself in the head since yesterday.


Now, for my questions:

Where am I at with this girl?

Could she be talking about another guy, or was that the most obvious "kiss me you fool"-hint she gave to me?

We agreed to meet up again another day and make music, cause we talked so much that she didnt have the chance to sing, haha. So we have another meet-up planned, and I think I will schedule it pretty soon.

What should I do on our next meet-up?


I need some help guys!

Well, the answer to your first question is, make your moves and go kiss her! Then, you'll know where you are with this girl.

Funnily enough, the second question gets answered by the first answer too.

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" You're born alone and you die alone and this world just drops a bunch of rules on top of you to make you forget those facts. But I never forget. I'm living like there's no tomorrow, because there isn't one. "

I guess I was kinda looking for that response.. Its just that

A) Ive been wanting her for almost a year

B) If she was talking about another guy, Im gonna make the biggest fool out of myself!

So the stakes are astronomically high to me. But of course you are right, there is nothing else to do but to take the chance. FUCK this is gonna be hard!

So tonight we met and made some music. I caught myself repeatedly thinking "Why do I wanna kiss this girl?" - I discovered that I didn't find her sexually or emotionally attractive, but that she had become a quest for me, because of the 1 year of flirting.

When she was taking her leave I said "I wanna kiss you" and went for it. She backed off with her head, and I tried again. She said "bye" awkwardly and I said "No. Just tell me why, be honest. I can handle it" in a very calm and collected fashion, almost gritty.

She told me she was in love with someone else.

She left.


And now I'm writing this. I don't feel shame, I don't feel sad and I certainly don't feel regret. I got clarification, and that was priceless, cause it had been bugging me for almost a year that I hadn't make a move. But most importantly, I showed myself that I could do it. SHIT it was hard, but I fucking did it, and I'm so proud of myself for doing it.

ONWARDS AND UPWARDS

YES YES YES!! YOU GOT IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

You have seen the light. You have taken the pebbles from our hands and you have earned the merit badge!!!

Now take this lesson and apply it to ALL women that you find attractive. MAKE THE MOVE!!!!

If they do not wish to move forward with you they will disengage and go on their merry way and you will NOT be destroyed, you will NOT look or feel like a fool and you will NOT die a lonely broken old man spanking to internet porn in his mom's basement.

You will look AND FEEL like a man for trying to move forward with the woman of your desire.....even if she doesn't go for it.

BRAVO!

Now don't you feel better about her, better about yourself and better about the situation now that you actually made the move and layed it out there and even though it didn't turn out how you wanted, dont you feel better knowing where you stand and and knowing what the score is?????

Now you know. That's the very best outcome that didn't involved you getting the girl.

As the poster above me said, badge of merit is in order. You try your best and if it doesn't work out, on to the next that will appreciate what you have to offer.

Beautifully put, and I second that completely. You did great man, if you keep it up like this success will follow and failure will be painless.

Thanks guys, really means a lot that I can share this you. Her rejecting me has been such a positive experience that my friends think I´m in "emotional defense mode" when I tell them about it. Like when AFCs gets rejected by their oneitis and overcompensates by saying "OH YEAH ITS NO BIG DEAL BRO, DIDNT GIVE A FUCK ABOUT HER ANYWAYS"

Peace and love

Next time you find yourself pining over some girl, take your shot earlier and save yourself 6 months of this nonsense. It's just a chick!

That post right there basically describes all of PUA and the right attitude to have to fear.

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To download the 53-page Manual of Confidence for FREE, visit my blog
Why Men Suck at Sex (fun read) - LINK

I agree. Always take the initiative, always be moving forward, always be calling the shots, always be going for broke.

Never wait and see. Never sit on your hands. Never let her call the shots or determine where the relationship is going.

You will get shot down sooner on the rejections but you will be scoring sooner on the successes as well. And you won't be spinning your wheels and sitting in limbo wondering where things are going to go for months. The last thing you want to be doing is wasting time and biggest time waster is sitting around wondering if the chick likes or not.

If she likes you she will move forward with you. If she doesn't like you she will exit stage left. If you sit and wait all you will accomplish will be burning time.