So, the otherday I got called annoying. Now this sounds ridiculous, but I get this infrequently and it still bothers me. So I have some questions.

What does this mean?
What are some annoying qualities?
What are some annoying people that you have met?
How do I fix this?

I know its a pretty open questions, but I don't really know where to start....

It depends on if they meant it, how they interpret "annoying" and what was going on at the time (both in your situation at the time and in their life).

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You can always ask them what they meant.

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Jazzy Jeff: "My love for you is like a river,
Like a summer breeze that makes my soul shiver,
One look from you is more precious than gold,
Let's grab some BBQ and go get busy!"

It could really be anything. Personally, I find weak, needy people to be annoying; I find ignorance to be incredibly annoying. I've met more people with those qualities than I care to remember.

If I were you, I wouldn't give a crap about what someone else said to you. The only thing that matters is, do you think you're annoying? Are you not getting the results you want out of life? And if so, then why is that?

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It was a group of friends of a roomate, that I met at a bar. It wasn't direct, but through my roomate, I found out that my presence was less than positive.

I think that I have some annoying qualities, that I may not suspect, I have some that I do know about. Like repeating myself, and calling frequently.

Well, if you know the qualities that others find annoying you can either :

A) Just find people who have no issues with your behaviour.

OR

B) Curb those qualities to levels which are acceptable within your group.

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What EXACTLY were you doing that they found annoying? So far the only advice I can give you so far is to not be less than positive.

Were you being annoying? If so, on purpose or by accident? It could be that you set out to be annoying in a cute way or that you were too on...

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Unfortunately, I don't have an answer to that. I didn't get told a specific thing. Just a generality. Is there a list of general "annoying" traits? Could we create one?

I'll give you a little advice. It's not based on anything I've read here, but more on how I've curbed annoying traits in myself and how I see them exhibited in others.

When you're talking, and you say something that you think is interesting, but it doesn't catch on, you only get the one chance to say it. Say it loudly and clearly, but don't repeat yourself, people notice. Even if it fails immediately, that's fine. People may even bring it up a minute later in conversation, after you demonstrate some interest in their lives.

Think about how you relate to people. Think about the things you say and the effect they have. Annoying people tend to: fit people into a stereotyped box very quickly, put people down and not provide positive social energy, be overeager and needy, and force their conversation topics over better ones. Socially valuable people tend to: make people feel better about themselves and their life situation, not add their own stresses to the interaction, and genuinely listen to the person speaking.

When you sit in a group, you need to learn (this takes time) to feel the rhythm of the group. When you can anticipate when one person's thread is about to end, you can inject your own story at the right time. When someone else is speaking, never think about what comment or story you have to say when they're done. If you're EVER thinking about what to say, you're doing it wrong. Focus your attention entirely on what they're saying. Trust yourself to say the right thing when the time comes.

It's fine to work on those positive concepts, but never try "not to be annoying." That's only going to create anxiety and hesitancy to speak, and that won't get you anywhere. In the moment, you have to let the social element flow naturally, and it definitely can if you pay attention to what's going on with the people around you.

Good luck man!

Those are some great pointers, would love to hear some more common, issues.

I want you to tell me how the conversation went word for word with the girl you were talking to. Give me examples and I'll tell you why.

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I didn't have a conversation. I was present at my roomate's gathering at the bar. And the next week I asked him if he was going to be there. He asked me not to meet up since his friends deemed me annoying. Normally, I wouldn't care since it was the first time I met them and I dont even know them, but its not the first time I have heard some people label me as such.

Personally, I know I have had many annoying tendencies in the past which I have had success changing, but apparently I still have much to learn and still change. And there are some tendencies that are not favorable and are still present in my character.