Reverse the chase



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 Post subject: Reverse the chase
PostPosted: Sat Aug 27, 2011 11:33 am 
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Hi, first of all, few words about the situation :
I'm 27 yo, started pua stuff few months ago, and currently living in paris ( well, might be a detail for lots of people but france is a lot more "machism" when it comes to seduction than any other countries :/ )

Anyway, 2 weeks ago ( 15/08 ), I met this 31yo HB9 at an afterwork party, and it was like love at first sight (at least for me). We talked for a little more than half an hour about travels mostly, nothing personal, not even the basic ( work, hobbies, friends, like/dislike, family...) and had few connections. I couldn't read her, sometimes few IOIs and also few IODs. # Closed when she left and wanted to see me again to another afterwork ( we "register" to these afterworks through a website ).

Started texting about stuff we talked, like 2/3 text in 4 days. After that, not seeing her after few days, I asked her when will I see her again and replied as a joke, saying I should be patient... I stop texting for 3/4 days, and monday I ask her out for friday evening (I know, worst day for first date but she seems pretty busy with work during week and living 1 hour drive from paris). She accepted and I didn't maintain contact or anything during the week, only friday morning to confirm the date.

On friday, everything went fine, I run some routine, not too much, lots of laughing, maintained eyes contact, palms opened, no cross arms, no kino in the first part (was almost impossible with the table disposition ). Conversation was really diversified, no commons questions, she mentioned she had a long relationship, losing her friends busy with their couple/child life, that she didn't seek for a bf particularly, but wants to increase her friend circle and eventually, find someone.

I escort her to her car, walked for 15 min, started kino ( arm around her, held her hand) then started the k-close when we reached her car, lean over her, hands on her hips, when reaching 90%, she stopped me, saying I was too fast, then she cheek kiss me 4 times (we always do 2 times) and said we should do this again tuesday/wednesday.

I text her the day after ( so today) saying that I had a great time, and I will call her monday to setup date 2. She replied she had a great time too.

I will probably skip the monday call, instead call her tuesday, with no communication before that.
I know I'm currently chasing her, and it's not one-itis, I mean, normally, I would have next her but I'm seeing other girls, trying to keep me busy, but this girl is different =)
Problem is I'm having a hard time reversing the chase. Except not texting her I don't really know what to do. The little age gap doesn't really help me either...

She looks like she's interested but want to take time to know me, and make sure I'm not looking for a one night stand (which I'm not, with her).

So... looking for some ideas/suggestions here :)


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Sat Aug 27, 2011 2:22 pm 
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She is at least a little into you if not very into you. With what you posted I would say she wants you to chase her. You are also right and need to shift the frame to her chasing you. I think you are playing this pretty well. Call her on tuesday and set up the next date. MAKE SURE YOU DON'T COME OFF NEEDY. I think you will be fine.

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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Sat Aug 27, 2011 2:36 pm 
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Your way to wrap up in the idea of being the prize.

Unless that's the frame you setup from the first few seconds of meeting the girl, you will have to be the purser for a short amount of time. And remember; women will always mock your behavior if their into you. So you best bet is to chase chase chase and then pull back. Making her chase chase chase, an then pull back. You see the cycle?

Make sure you give the girl a call sometime today just to see how she's doing. Show some intrest in her. It's not all about the date. It's the 21 century; so if this girls hot she has guys calling her all the time anyway.


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Sat Aug 27, 2011 3:21 pm 
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Yes, occasionally she comments my behavior and makes me feel like I talk too much with her or devote too much time to her, while I always keep text really short, I don't really maintain a discussion during week. So I'm thinking : if I call her from time to time, I will come off needy.
She also notice when other women are interested in me.

Thing is I have to chase her a little without being needy now =)


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Sat Aug 27, 2011 7:40 pm 
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Neediness is all in your frame. I can call a chick 3 times in a day an not come across as needy. Because I do have a ton of other girls to talk to if I choose. As long as you have the proper frame you'll always be fine. I'm really persistent when I deal with women but I also know i have plenty of other options. It's all in your mentality bro. If you feel like your lucky to be with her, you will seem needy only calling once a month. If you truly believe she's lucky to be with you and that she desires to speak to you an be around you all the time, she will believe it also. It's called transferring a state. And as a man you have that authority but, only if you know how to use it. How do you think guys get girls to cheat on their boyfriends?


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Tue Aug 30, 2011 11:51 am 
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Few update :
I called her sunday ( 2 days after 1st date ), turns out she was busy but talked for few minutes, then asked for me to call back later. Second call was a little longer, but I interrupted it before 10min. We talked about our day, nothing about a second date.

Texted her tuesday morning to setup a second date, no reply, call her few hours after the text and left a message. She called back 1 hour after, saying she can't go out during weeks, but friday will be ok, I have to confirm, otherwise, she said we'll keep each other update if we have some times to meet.

I don't really know if I should proceed as usual, like museum for the second date, then minigolf or something else on the third, OR : talk with her about my feelings and her expectation, to see where she wants to go and her feelings.


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Tue Aug 30, 2011 12:46 pm 
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Quote:
talk with her about my feelings and her expectation, to see where she wants to go and her feelings.
No no no no no no!

It's only the 2nd date! Chill out. What feelings could there possibly be to talk about?

And never ever ever ask a girl what she wants to do. They never know


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Thu Sep 01, 2011 10:59 am 
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Just called to setup next date for friday, turns out she can't, she postponed to next friday, so 1 week later and we said we'll keep each other update for the time & place.
I think I'll ignore her until she call, hopefully before friday night...


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Tue Sep 06, 2011 8:04 pm 
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Updates :
She called me tonight, reached the voicemail (busy), and here I am : "let's just be friends, and still want to go out friday night"...
I'll accept to see her again, perhaps I'll find what went wrong, maybe she wants to really slow things down, or I'll try to play the jealous card over the time, and if everything fail.... social proof =)


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Tue Sep 06, 2011 8:13 pm 
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Quote:
let's just be friends
It's over bro move on. You'll be wasting your money and time on this girl.
I still wanna go out friday means she wants you to pay and blow up her ego as she plays with you, trust me youll get hurt goin there.


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Wed Sep 07, 2011 7:41 am 
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LJBF'ed after 1 date seems like a shit test to me, to see if i only want her for one night or ready for a LTR, but i probably don't have enough distance to analyze the situation...


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