Quiet in groups, can't think of what to say



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PostPosted: Sat Aug 27, 2011 5:31 am 
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I am having trouble in groups(sometimes 1 on 1) starting conversations, being in it, seeming more alpha, etc. I am fine with the body language, posture, etc but I cant get it with the conversation. I am not quiet when I talk but not too loud either. Some people who i hangout with are loud and dont shut up, so I cant really talk too loud without almost yelling. Any exercises that can help me think of more things to talk about/ be more involved in conversations in the group?


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 Post subject: Things not to do
PostPosted: Sun Aug 28, 2011 2:37 am 
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You should not feel pressured by not talking in a group. Being an Alpha Male means leading not talking. Not always is talking leading even though most times it is. On the contrary being the one not to talk is sometimes showing you APLHANESS. All you have to do is just looking relaxed. When you do feel you have to say something you speak up and say it. There should be no reason you feel like you need to always be talking and dominating the conversation. Usually what happens if you do feel like that is you look as if your trying hard and people notice that and your game gets fucked up. If you do feel like you always need to dominate the conversation and talk even when you don't want to you need to fix it because that is really not Alpha Male attitude. Good luck buddy!

-Joe-

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PostPosted: Sun Aug 28, 2011 4:53 am 
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AmazingArt has a really good point.

Try to get into situations where you're automatically the off, such as a group of you, your girlfriend ( or low status friend perhaps ) and your little sister something.

I had that group recently, and it was interesting to watch. they would blabber on and on, but when it came to making decisions, they would wait for my call.

once you get used to that by, I'm sure you could bring it to groups that aren't so already stacked in your favor.

Try it out!


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 Post subject: Peacocking
PostPosted: Sun Aug 28, 2011 4:57 am 
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The key here is if your a quiet person. Try to peacock more. If you hang out with a buddy that seems to always out talk you. Be the one with a pink watch, or fuffy hat, or gold Run DMC chain. Stand out. That way.. the ladies there will actually engage you with questions. And all you have to do is answer them. You won't even have to talk over your friend because he will be forced to be quiet at that time while they wait for your response. You have to remember visuals are just as important as talking sometimes. Use it and I promise it will work.

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PostPosted: Sun Aug 28, 2011 11:37 am 
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you are a introvert like me .. you can learn to be extrovert and talking to groups but that is not really who you are...

focus on your strenghts..

introvert people do better in 1 on 1 conversation but they suck in groups.... extrovert is the exact opposite.

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PostPosted: Sun Aug 28, 2011 5:12 pm 
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Quote:
I am having trouble in groups(sometimes 1 on 1) starting conversations, being in it, seeming more alpha, etc. I am fine with the body language, posture, etc but I cant get it with the conversation. I am not quiet when I talk but not too loud either. Some people who i hangout with are loud and dont shut up, so I cant really talk too loud without almost yelling. Any exercises that can help me think of more things to talk about/ be more involved in conversations in the group?
All of the points previously made about finding your own style and how talking isn't always necessary are valid, BUT... if you are alpha or leaning that way and the conversation that is happening is crap--and lets face it, how many conversations do we sit through about movies, or television, or what happened at work/school, blah, fucking, blah?--then the absolute best way to show social dominance, not to mention the best service you can do for humanity, it to change the damned subject.

In other words: If the reason you are not talking much is that the people you are with are talking about boring shit, then you either need to help them out by talking about something interesting, or find new people to hang out with.

So, what is interesting? That's up to you, but there are topics that almost everyone is interested in, and if the setting isn't one that is conducive to serious conversation, go for verbal games.

Personally, I like to talk about sex. This can be serious or fun.

Here's a scenario: I have a group of friends over, guys and girls, the guys are quiet or talking about some bullshit sports thing, who's in the playoff, or listening to the girls talk about whether or not Linda, a girl who isn't there, should dump her bf or not. Boring.

I get a drink, come back and sit down and turn to Amanda, the hottest of the three, and say, "So Amanda," in a tone of voice that draws everyone in, "besides me, which of the guys here would you sleep with?"

"Shut up!" Giggles, hands over mouths, etc. "I'm not telling you that."

"So you would sleep with one of them? Or does that mean you'd sleep with all of them?"

The trick is to be outrageous, to push people, to get them to take positions, say why or why not... but--once you get it started you don't have to hold center stage. You can throw it to the group... What do you guys think?

If someone is saying something interesting and is having a hard time being heard, intervene, help him or her out. "Wait a second, guys, John makes a good point..." "Come on people, Angie's trying to tell you about something cool and you all are dicking off, try listening..."

This will both score points with John/Angie and put you one up in group dynamics.

Suffering fools, even if they are your friends, is a waste of your life energy. Either help them to not be fools (boring) or get new friends.

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PostPosted: Sun Aug 28, 2011 5:50 pm 
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You guys all make great points, i never looked at it from the other perspectives, but thank you . That helped a lot


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PostPosted: Fri Sep 09, 2011 6:33 pm 
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I'm now one for natural and celebrity game...but don't ever shun MM either! I say keep a few gambit or small routines in your arsenal. They're like dehydrated food for survival situations (may have blown that a little out of proportion...) I tend to go "so how do we all know eachother?" As a plan B. When we run out of things to say. One thing I heard from Gambler's mouth is to try and relate what that person is saying to you:

HB: I'm a dancer
PUA: oh that's cool what di you like about It? I can imagine...the feel of the rythmuc timing with the music...blah blah blah...


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PostPosted: Sat Sep 10, 2011 3:35 am 
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To me not constantly talking means you are secure in your own skin. People that talk constantly (as I've heard) sometimes is because they went under some tragedy and they always keep their mind off of it. Of course this isn't true in all cases.
Also to add, the most intelligent people in the world don't like to show off they are smart. They show it, just not show it off. Give your lips a break to build attraction and mystery with eye contact and kino. If you talk all damn day there will be more about you she knows about. Not sure if any of this was said previously, I read the question and jumped to the bottom.


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PostPosted: Sat Sep 10, 2011 7:05 am 
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Quote:
you are a introvert like me .. you can learn to be extrovert and talking to groups but that is not really who you are...

focus on your strenghts..

introvert people do better in 1 on 1 conversation but they suck in groups.... extrovert is the exact opposite.
RAISES HIS FIST UP IN THE AIR WITH CONFIDENCE

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2) Those who watch what happens
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