Well, I seem to have gotten myself into a situation. I was wondering if anybody here would chip in their two cents on it.

I began talking to this girl on facebook. We went to high school together, but we never really knew each other. She does has a kid, but no is no longer with the father... but she did have a (different) boyfriend. We did the typical facebook getting-to-know-each-other: liking each other's status updates, turning statuses in 100 comment in-depth conversations, etc. Eventually, it seemed like we were hitting it off big time. I felt like I've known her forever at this point, even though we have barely conversed in person.

Apparently, things were on the rocks with her boyfriend at the time, because I was able to take her out. We went to a concert, which she loved, and we hit it off big time. Shit, she basically swept me off my feet, and I think I did the same for her. In the days following, we were talking to each other non-stop... until Valentine's day. I have no idea what her boyfriend did for her, but he definitely seemed to 'win her back'. Suddenly, 'It's complicated' goes back to 'in a relationship', and our communcations get less and less frequent.

A few weeks go by, and we start talking more and more again... I still feel like the two of us 'click', but by now I'm probably friendzoned big time. I'm still head over heels for this girl, but evidently so is her boyfriend.

Now everybody's advice at this point would be to fuck around for a while, and see if this girl still seems so great. Well I have been. Actually I've been dating and fucking around a lot lately. But, if anything, that has led me to appreciate her even more.

Meanwhile, our 'chemistry' still seems to be growing and growing until suddenty she's engaged to this guy..! Unbelievable.

I know I've been friend-zoned. Well, probably. But, despite what I do, she is still an HB11 to me. I know she feels something for me. She's engaged, so I'm an idiot for even thinking about her, but what do I do? I can't forget about her, because I've tried. Thank you all in advance.

Have you actually slept with her?

No, I haven't

I think girls emotions are closely tide up with sex, so once you've slept with a girl it would be much easier to get her to want something more serious.

Also, I think most girl believe that if a guy is interested in them he will try to get them in bed (which is usually true), so if you haven't she's likely to think that it is just friendship for you (well I don't know the whole story obviously...you might have talked, etc).

Now that their relationship is strengthened up however, it would be a bad idea to try to get her by sleeping with her - she's much more likely to reject you and you will loose her trust at the same time. What you need to do is weakened the relationship, bring back the feelings that she had during the low time. ask her, what changed? did you love him right at the begging? how did you feel about him when you were about to break up? (spend some time on this one) then when she's telling you about the lowest part of the relationship go to "...and how about now?" followed by "are you sure that those feeling wont come back in a few months or a year?" what will you do if they do? ..wouldn't you feel trapped? What about your kid? children need stability...you should be sure that you want to be with him before you get into something so serious, because you kid can get really hurt, ect.


If you decide to go that way, please think about her first though, you will be messing up with her life - big time.

Also, if you are ever considering getting in a relationship with a girl who has a child, you will have to get very comfortable with the child first and accept that he/she will always come first, just the way it would be if you two had a child together. I do believe though, that if you love the mum, you'll love the kid even more - well in most cases.

thank you very much for the advice.

her and I were just texting yesterday. She told me "Ya know, other than my dad, you're probably my closest guy-friend"
.... hmmmmmm

All the romantic non-sense aside, the bottom line is :

You. Have. Been. Friend-zoned.

And it's nobody's fault but yours, you tried to keep things romantic and nice, while the other guy must've induced some semblance of sexuality in the relationship.

She's not a little girl, she is a single mother. You should have approached her with more boldness and maturity, not some Jerry Maguire "You complete me" crap. She wants a man, a man who can dominate her. Which her boyfriend is.

And I don't know if I should laugh at you or pity you, for her comment of calling you her "best guy friend other than her Dad". God, that's one harsh way of rejecting a guy romantically.

So, in the best interest of everyone, just cut your losses and move on. She is engaged, and I don't think she's going to break the commitment.

"Well, (her name). I am flattered, very.. by your text. But, over the past few days I have realised that we want different things, very different things. So, all the best in your relationship. And this is where I get off. Good luck. You'll be fine."

Send her that. And DO NOT respond to her messages or calls. She'll just be afraid of losing her "best guy friend since her Dad", but that's not what you want to be in her life, do you?

_________________
" You're born alone and you die alone and this world just drops a bunch of rules on top of you to make you forget those facts. But I never forget. I'm living like there's no tomorrow, because there isn't one. "

Yeah.. I believe your right. Which sucks... but it is what it is. Thanks, though.