Ok i am a complete virgin dork with injuries right now, never touched a girl ever, maybe hugged a friend(whoo!). I am waiting till 2nd year uni. I live in a city where i have no social circle, maybe a friend or two, i beg them to introduce me to some girls but its impossible they wont do it. In uni maybe 2 - 3 more friends. My only options are to wait for university and go out of my way to hit on girls, or go to the mall and pretend to be a "PUA" and hope i get lucky without magnifying my desperate lonely and creepiness.

My positives are, i think i am handsome, i am tall(6 ft), i can dress decent, i am skinny, once i know a girl approves and looks comfy i can be funny and cool around her, and girls in high school showed strong signs of liking me but i was too stupid to do something about it, looks wise i am not completely f**ked.

Negatives are i am very injured, bad spine, bad shoulder and knee, so i dont feel athletic and i lost 15 lbs of pure muscle, now i weigh 125 lbs so i feel very skinny. Also i am tired of masturbating and my penis hurts, like i might have done nerve damage to it, and i feel guilty lonely, and just loser when i do it now. I also regret not going after girls in high school.

So where do i start?

I am an EFC lol, EXTREMELY FRUSTRATED CHUMP. LOL. Ah i hate myself.

I have just stopped masturbating forever, it makes me feel worse, and i haven't done it in 3 weeks, i dont even enjoy it i just do it so that my mind stops thinking about it and i stop thinking about girls or getting a girlfriend. In high school i considered myself picky, now i feel lucky if a girl smiles at me(which she never does).

So i am not a obese basement dweller who drools and pants heavily while staring at a woman. But i have no social circle to wiggle through, and i feel like meeting any prospect girls is almost impossible for me.

Your staring off good already. The first step is to realize and identify ones mistakes and you have just done that. Remember many famous PUAs were in the same position you were in. I personally myself was in the position as you are now so I will try my hardest to help you as much as I wanted someone to help me when I was in the same position as you. That is the only reason I am on these forums to help beginner just like I was helped when I was a beginner. Anyway lets start. The first thing you have to do is analyze and understand what you have to do. You have to understand who you want be, who you don't want to be and set goals for yourself. To be more practical just take a paper and first write all your negative traits and then write all your positive traits. After doing so take another paper and write who you want to be 6 months from now and what you will do to become that person. You will need to set goals for yourself and understand that this will be hard as hell. Once you understand this will be really hard to achieve you are good to go. Many guys learn PUA and are still AFCs even after learning and reading and trying hundreds of methods. The reason is when they decided to learn PUA they came in with the mindset that it will be easy. Like many PUA books write for example I remember reading a book of a renowned PUA who wrote as follows " I will teach you secrets that nobody knows that will get you woman easily even if you never had any prior experience". This is really wrong as it makes guys think PUA is easy and they come into this field lacking the mindset to work hard and are not ready to go through difficulties. PUA is just like army if you come into the army with the mindset it is easy you wont survive because when the hard things come it will devastate you. However, if you come in with the mindset that it will be really hard and you will suffer a lot when the suffering comes you will be prepared and it wont be a big deal to you. Once you understand this you will move to the next step. Next step is to build up you non sex life. Have a life, have a passion pursue your passions. Do things that you like whether it be workout or programming it makes no difference. It is really attractive to have a busy life. If you don't have any passions or any hobbies create one for yourself. Girls should be a side thing in your life. I understand it's easy to say but hard to do but this will eventually be your success formula with woman. The way of getting girls into your life is not by working on a girl. It is rather by working on yourself. So work on your character, work on your social skills, acquire the characteristics of an Alpha Male. It wont happen over night but it will happen eventually depending on how hard you work. Here are some characteristics of an ALPHA MALE:

1. Has his own opinion on things
2. Make sure he lives his life according to how he likes and not according to how he is forced to.
3. Expresses his beliefs even if others don't like it
4. Is never too serious and never takes things personally
5. Never lets other peoples actions or reactions affect him
6. Does not seek attention from others he only cares that he himself should be proud of himself
7. Makes sure that things important to him come before girls
8. Is ready for hardship and difficulties
9. Never gives up

These may seem out of reach but they're really not. You most probably have a then to a certain extent already. The most important thing is to find a guy who is good with girls and ask him to go with him to clubs and see what he does. Many guys would agree to show off. Guys usually have this ego to show other how to do it. For now this I think will be enough. If you follow this correctly you'll see success. If you have any further questions or when you pass these steps and are ready to go on just send me a message and I will be happy to reply.

-Joe-

_________________
"Experience is the teacher of all things"

read intimate connections by dr david burns: write down negatrive thoughts, do the triple column technique,take yourself out on dates to free outdoor events, to the coffee shop, to the movies, etc. eventually you will start to like yourself once you go on your own two feet to fun places (yes its ok to go along, i do it all the time, and whenever i am bored i go to a coffee shop or a free outdoor concert, look for events online and just look and hang around on my own)
you dont have to like a girl to go on a date with her! you dont have to like her at all to go out with her. just go to rate her based on a list of qualities that you look for in a girl, she might be a 5/5 in looks but 1/5 in career and 2/5 in honesty.. etc. write down a list of things you enjoy about a girl or find interesting. once you learn to think more positive, your negativity/anxiety/depression will improv and you will feel more attracted to more girls.
again read stuff by dr david burns, Cognitive behavioral Therapy, do the triple column technique first. do it twice a day for 15 minutes.

also do chapter 12 (the ABCDE exercises from Learned Optimism by Dr Seligman, the abcde's are more effective than the triple column technique

an example of a triple column technique would be to change how you think from negative to more realistic and positive through written exercises so for example:

Negative/Distorted Thought: i have no social circle to wiggle through
Cognitive Distortion: Exagerration
Rational Response: "no social circle" is an exaggeration. i talk to my family, i talk to people on the forums, "no social circle" means you are on a desolate island and that you have absolutely noone to talk to, but in reality i have some people to talk to which means i do have a social circle. i am new at socializing with people and i am inexperienced. the more i go out and the more i talk to people the better i will get at it and my social circle will grow. saying i have absolutely no social circle is an exaggeration and just makes me despair and the negativity drives people away. the more cbt/positive psychology exercises i do, the more positive i will think and feel and this will attract people toward me even more. let me try talking to people more and going out more and dressing up and getting hair cuts, shaving, takng showers, using cologne, cutting my nails, etc. and see what happens. my social circle might grow much quicker than i expect if i put time and effort into it.
okcupid?
sign up for a group class and introduce yourself to people there by smiling and saying how are you and giving women a compliment here and there?
dressing up and going outside for a walk to the store and smiling to the cashier?
yes go to the mall and ask a female clerk to help you try something on, be serious, dont hit on her, but do smile and say "that's a cute jacket/flip flops/necklace you are wearing" chances are she will smile and love you for it, as long as you are just serious and not try to chat her up or anything during the rest of the convo
once youve started to dress up, good hygiene, think more positive, focus on some hobbies, join a class or a group, ask your family members to set you up with someone on a date.

read intimate connections by dr burns it tells you what to do. do cbt and positive psychology exercises on paper every day. get a wrist counter and think the Disputations from dr seligmans chapter 12 in learned optimism and press the wrist counter, when you have 1500 positive thoughts/disputations at the end of the day (youve pressed the wrist counter 1500 times) you will feel much better and it will be much easier to talk to people

yes girls would say hi to me and chat me up in 8th grade they would stare at me too, i used to think they were making fun of me or teasing me, but now i know they were attracted to me and were flirting with me. too bad nobody taught me how to flirt with girls or how to overcome my shyness. the books i listed are non-pua legit shit that works.
i had same problem and went to a urologist and was told by the attending physician at a major teaching hospital that you cannot do nerve damage by masterbating too often or too hard, what you get is called "dysthesia" where the penis becomes less sensitive when you masturbate too often or too hard, but its a temporary desensitivity, and if you take a holiday for a month you the sensitivity will come back. he said if you get erections and small amount spontaneous ejaculation at night there is no nerve damage and your penis is fine, just needs a break for the feeling in it to come back, he said the only time there is nerve damage is when you break the penis in half during sex with the girl sitting on top. also negative thoughts and depression plays a role in it, once i did the positive thinking for like half a year, i become a lot hornier and got more feeling in the penis.

so start by getting the books and not just reading them, but doing the written exercises as you go along, and also if the book tells you to take a class, you go and you fucking look for a class and you at least go and check it out. if it tells you take yourself to a restaurant (if you have the money) you go and sit at a restuarant and eat by your fucking self. you start doing things people give you advice for, that you dont want to do and dont normally do, but by doing that you will grow and exeperience so much..

alright im not gonna bother with online dating it makes me uncomfortable and makes me feel worse, i checked out the site. But i'll go and i'll approach some women, been trying for a while now but it doesnt happen out of fear.

I will go stop them, tell them they are cute and wanted to say hi to them, ask them about their day, try to generate some kind of convo and get their number, been trying to do this for a few weeks so its bound to happen anytime now.

have you thought about trying anything ive written in that long post above?

online dating is a stupid waste of time, unless you super rich or super good looking. but, I and my nerdy friends had gotten the first date in their entire life from okcupid. i dunno why, but when you join, you usually get a date quickly, then no matter how much you try, you dont really get more dates. i dont think its good to message girls on okcupid, but making a short, creative profile (again read the intimate connections book on how to write a positive sounding profile and come on strong) with some good pictures. eventually, some girl will message you, and you can practice being playful and flirty via messages. if she replies, you can have a first date. you will not get a second date with a girl from okcupid because girls hate online dating.

but really, if you approach girls, unless you can learn to process the rejections from girls, you wont be happy. you really need to do what i said in the post above, just cold approaching will get you rejected a lot and your social circle wont grow much either. you really need to psych yourself up using the written exercises, you need to dress up and you need to take yourself alone or with friends on your own two feet to new events.. but whatever, i tried..

I am not gonna get too technical into it, i think i have enough looks and ability to talk to get some decent return if i try, i checked out the dating sites and i didnt like them, also i saw a person that happens to be in my social circle so i definitely dont want to put myself up there because if anyone does come across it i'll look worse. I just wanna introduced to some 18 year - 19 years olds, and some will probably react positively. I'll try the mall, and if not then i'll sit next to as many girls as possible or try to go through my friends, i think i can snag an above average girl long term i just need to be introduced to some which get the idea as soon as they look at me.

Do not overestimate the power of looks when it comes to girls. Yes goodlooking guys have got an advantage but girls look more for power and presence.
Goodlooking girls who are a social wreck can count on their looks to find a man. A goodlooking man who is a social wreck won't find an above average girl that easy.

But if you're a total mess than online dating wouldn't sound that bad to me. You have to start somewhere. And the mall, hmmmz, not my style but it can work if you play the cards right.

well i dont even think im as good looking anymore because i am some acne scarring on the side, its not like its deep scarring, but i have the red spots more than i would like and i dont grow enough facial hair to just hide them. I hate it lol. I think it will influence how a girl rates me, it can be worse but its still bad enough for me, i hate acne scars and they are slowly climbing up even after taking anti biotics last year.

what might help is offering beer and something else if they invite you to a party. do you know how to find a dealer?