This forum and our short attention span makes it nearly impossible to discuss such complex issues in serious and deep way but I'll try to answer you guys. I made a mistake by making this post too wide.
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It's not bad to show some vulnerability instead of being a non-stop robot that can't be hurt. You are human, let a woman take over the conversation when they feel like it . Stop thinking everything they say is a shit test. Dare to act AFC as it's funny. Real men can handle that.
I'm not saying that you should not show vulnerability or that you should be "Mr. Perfect" - I was just opening them, there was no time to show vulnerability. I'm saying I've been rejected (within 20-30 seconds) on grounds of being "too confident" as in "a too strong man, someone I won't be able to fuck with, it's better if I stay clear from this one"
Do you understand the difference?
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@phangan - Have you ever thought the problem here is YOU? You seem to have taken this stuff way to seriously and it backfired because you acted like an arrogant bastard. You need to know when to give up control. If you want to be able to score a girl you need to know how to "tango" with her. Being in control and going full title on confidence ain't going to get you any girls.
Again, same thing. I was NOT an arrogant bastard. I was a guy who is NOT AFRAID coming up to a chick and putting himself out there. There was NO arrogance. How can "HI, MY NAME IS X, WHAT'S YOUR NAME" equals arrogance?? WTF?? (the pointing at them and telling them "come here" might be arrogance... although that one actually worked quit well)
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I'll tell you why, in my opinion, those nervous bumbling idiots pull women who we, the so-called power players of the pick up game cannot.
It's mainly two reasons :
1. Some women want to be in control of their situations all the time. This even extends to their dating and their relationships. They want to be on top and dominate everything, every minute. Now, will you give her that liberty. No, you won't. Your mind won't allow you that. But, for say, a lesser man, it's easy to submit to her. Hell, some women search for such poor bastards whom they can tie dog collars round their necks and play fetch with them at the weekends.
2. Women want to see what effect they have on us. While you maintain your cool, confident front while talking to her, another guy is literally tripping over himself and tell her, "I'm sorry for being an idiot but you're gorgeous." and he's walking away with her at the end of the night while you're thinking that you did everything right. Even negged her perfectly, then why's she going away with a "chode"? Well, that "chode" played a brilliant card, unknowingly, but letter her know that she had such a big effect on his person. Make no mistake, women dress up for men. They want to see themselves the way men see them. Those so called "chodes" are making them feel like goddesses. For all your calm, cool air you're making her feel like "just another woman". Now tell me, who's the winner?
These are just my suggestions.
Man, I always like your posts. But I'm reading this and I don't understand what's the bottom line here. You are more or less rewording what I said. You are saying "some women want to be in control at all times". Isn't that exactly what I'm saying? That if they see that they WON'T be able to control a man, then they PASS on him. Because they are looking for guys that they can MANIPULATE. (hence the title of this thread - do women look for weak men) so what are you saying dude, that I'm right?
And your point II, in other words, is this - girls want to see how they effect us, they want to see how they make us weaker in their presence, it makes them feel powerful. Isn't this also exactly what I'm saying????? That they are all into control and submission ? And hence that all the "women are looking for a confident / strong / leader / alpha male" is just a thin veils covering a much deeper and uglier truth?
I just read something that made me think about this... how women love to see us cum. They love to see how they basically SUCK (literally) life energy from us, they get a power trip from making us losing our desire for life as we ejaculate. (don't tell me you don't know what I'm talking about....)
What is that if not the ultimate power trip? When a woman cums she doesn't get that same "I want to go to sleep now for 1 week" feeling that we get. We love giving women orgasms because we want to give them joy and pleasure. What makes them excited in seeing us cuming is the fact that despite out physical strength they still control us and are able to bring us down to total submission.
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Right... fuck buddies. I said I'd read your post. Should I quote you word by word then...
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If I'm ever in a LTR again - this is going to be my #1 rule.
Seems like it's not only women who sometimes say differently then they actually think.
I guess what I meant is during MLTRs, when I'm seeing 3-4 girls in the same time... MLTR and even a LTR doesn't equal WIFE (which will usually mean children too)
Your comments about The Way of the Superior Man - you agree with me on some points, not on others... this is a long discussion, I'll start a new thread about this book at some point. But basically this book tells guys how women are "goddesses" that should be "worshiped" and that we men should "ravel and bath" in their "ocean of conflicting emotions" etc. I'm reading all of this and thinking "oh yea, everything he says about women is so accurate this is GOLD!"
Basically I could recognize EVERYTHING he is talking about from my past experiences with women and it just sucks you in. It's a lot of stuff I never read before. Go read the reviews on Amazon, from men AND women, who praise this book as a bible about relationships.
But then I suddenly caught myself saying 'wait a minute..... Why the fuck... THEY are the goddesses? Why do I need to RAVEL or BATH in ANY of their BULLSHIT? Why can't I just enjoy the good parts (as a LOVER) and let someone else eat all their shit as a PROVIDER" ?????
The problem with this book is that it ASSUMES monogamy as our default behavior and then from there goes on to explain how to maintain such a relationship.
But once you come to realize that this is FALSE and monogamy is a constructed idea "invented" just a few thousand years ago - it changes EVERYTHING.
Guys - if you didn't read Sex At Dawn yet - go RUN buy it. It will change how you see women, men, LTRs.... I can't review the whole book here but bottom line is - we are NOT MEANT TO BE IN LONG TERM RELATIONSHIPS. We are NOT designed for it. It's a MYTH designed by the CHURCH to get people to sign up to Christianity - up until then the rich had 3-4 wives and the poor had none - Christianity promised a woman for each man - it was the best marketing campaign ever.
Until 10,000 years ago we lived in groups of 150 people and EVERYONE WERE FUCKING EVERYONE, the whole gang was raising all the children together, there was no jealousy, no long term mating - none of that.
All these "problems" in relationships that the book is trying to teach us how to deal with (women's emotionality, lack of sexual attraction, unhappiness in the long run, etc) are the result of long term monogamous relationships being UNNATURAL for us.
It's not that some "GOD" put us together in these mostly dysfunctioning relationship to TEST US or some spiritual CRAP like that, it's just that we are socialized into these unnatural constructions that create friction - MOSTLY FROM THE FEMALE SIDE - and then we need to learn to become SUPERIOR MAN in order to deal with this unnatural relationship in which we have imprisoned ourselves!
And why is most of the shit in a LTR comes from the WOMANS side??? Because their sexuality is much more suppressed than our sexuality... they are socialized to be "good", that sex is something that "bad" girls want, that masturbation is evil etc... all the while their true nature is possibly MORE sexual than ours.
Women are "designed" to have sex with MANY MEN during a short period of time. That's why they can have multiple orgasms and we cannot. That's why 99% of sperm is "killer sperm" designed to attack sperm of other man while only 1% of sperm can actually inseminate. That's why our penises are designed the way they do (to force out other mens sperm). That's why women are so LOUD when they orgasm (they are signalling other males that they are "ready to be fucked") while we can cum just once and then we want to LEAVE THE SCENE (and make place for other males). That's why the most popular porn category is GANG BANGS (we like to watch women fucked by other men! What sense does this make???!!) and why we get excited by seeing other men cum on a womans face or body (again - out of this context this makes NO SENSE).
The reason for this whole sexual behavior is that "nature" wanted to confuse men (and women) as to the identity of the father so all the males in the group would take care of the all the children TOGETHER.
Again - if you are serious about PU, sexuality, relationships etc... you really need to read all this info, it will blow your mind.
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I don't think dancing with her woulda been jumping through a hoop. She wanted to dance, you said no, so she left TO GO DANCE. you thought about it waaaay too much and turned a simple gesture into a power struggle/value issue.
Dude - read my post. I said clearly that WE WERE DANCING. While dancing she stopped dancing and decided that I should "dance for her" while she stands and looks at me.
I think what this was is this:
Girl thinking - oh this guy is really confident and cool, he just came over to me and we started making out so quickly, I should now test if I can control him or if he really is the kind of guy who does whatever he wants.
Girl - "Dance!" (girl thinking - I will order him to dance and see what happens)
Me - "Sorry babe, I don't take orders from anyone"
Girl thinking - shit... this is not some guy I will be able to manipulate. I should go back to my friends and find some chode who I can turn into my puppy because that's how I get validated.
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PHAGAN AS I TOLD YOU MANY MANY MANY TIMES, FORGET ALL OF THESE GURUS, DANCE FLOOR GAME IS TOTALLY DIFFERENT I WILL DESTROY ALL OF THESE GURUS IN DANCE GAME SO CAN YOU TRUST ME, I WILL RESPOND IN CAPS NEXT TO YOUR SENTENCES, SINCE YOU ARE CONFUSED A BIT, WITH THAT BEING SAID YOU ARE DOING EXELLENT:
OK so what you're saying is that the reason my full intent opener didn't work is that it was a dance floor and the girls were there to have fun and dance and not talked to... interesting. I was blown off after 20-60 seconds, 20 times straight, I don't think that this is the case. Also - I WAS dancing. I WAS WAS WAS dancing. I'm not sure in how many ways I can put it. I WAS DANCING AND HAVING FUN AND TALKING WITH OTHER GUYS, AND GIVING VALUE. We were getting TONS of AI and good vibes but as soon as I approached FULLY CONFIDENT the girls backed off. It was also a very specific kind of rejection... it wasn't the "I have a boyfriend / I need to go to the toilet / You are not good enough for me" rejection. It was a respectful / graceful rejection (in most cases), very different from the rejections I encounter when I'm not fully in state or when I open without that full intent / confidence .
I hope this makes sense... very abstract stuff.
skills360 - I like your posts and I wish I could see you sarge (where are you located?) but I hate going thru hundreds of posts reading your comments about other people's posts, trying to make that into a coherent game plan.
Stop writing that you should write a book about it. Just write ONE LONG NICE POST from start to finish (not simply commenting on what other people are saying!!!!) and put down your method so we can see what it's all about.
OK????
Thanks
CHAT
