Now, now Betty, that's not a men-only rule.

"We go after the things the hardest, that go away from us the most."

It's a basic rule. The whole thrill of the chase thing is based on this. The chase is better than the final prize.

_________________
" You're born alone and you die alone and this world just drops a bunch of rules on top of you to make you forget those facts. But I never forget. I'm living like there's no tomorrow, because there isn't one. "

Thanx misselizabeth for your advice, i know what you say makes sense and it might even work but i'm just absolutely useless at playing hard to get...is there any books or websites to help women learn game?

If he spent the night with Jessica Alba and she asked him what he wanted from her the next morning what do you think his answer would be???? Do you think he'd tell her he wasn't interested in any kind of relationship?

You need to learn a little man-talk here. When I guy says that he isn't interested in a relationship, what he is saying is that he doesn't want to date YOU or bring you home to mom or meet your parents or take you out on a legitimate date or bring you around all his buddies. In other words he doesn't see you as a potential love-interest or potential girlfriend.

Sure he'll be gald to bang you if noone knows about it and you don't ask for anything more but he isn't wanting to give up any of his other options.

A guy saying he's not interested in a relationship is analogous to woman saying she just wants to be friends. He doesn't want to hurt your feelings and he doesn't want to lead you on or make you believe that there is anything more than what there really is.

If you don't want to simply have some casual, physical, recreational sex then move on to the next guy, this is not wanting to go where you do. You have known each other for some time so it's not he doesn't know you and know what you are about so there probably isn't anything you can do that will change his mind.

Having sex with him will NOT change his mind just as a guy that has been friendzoned by a woman will not change her mind by being her friend.
If you agree to the casual sex then you will become a fuck buddy or a friend with benifits and he will still not see you as a potential girlfriend or love interest. He may bang you for awhile but once a gal comes along that he is interested in, he will drop you cold.

Your best bet is to just appreciate that he was honest with you and appreciate that you did not invest any more time, energy or emotion into it than you already did.

There are about 6.4 trillion books for women on how to find love and navigate through the waters of love, sex and relationships.

they all pretty much say the same things which is to not let men manipulate you or bullshit you or push you around for sex untill you decide it is the right person and the right time.

For the most part they teach you how to look for the signs that indicate if a guy is sincere, honest and worthy vs whether he is just bullshitting you or pretending to be something he is not.

sure you can change men.

it's like the build-a-bear workshop.

only it's build-a-man.

you just go in (it's in the mall, near hot topic somewhere)

and you pick out your favorite "qualities" and

voila!

a perfect man

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what dr. house brings to medicine, i bring to everyday life (an extreme dose of cynicism), don't listen to the curmudgeon!

.....Just be yourself....

Sorry i couldn't resist.

ok i will try and give you a piece of advice that will leave you better than i found you...

Your female friends [frenimies]...its probably for the best if you NEVER ever seek,listen to or take their advice on this guy, any other guy,romance ,sex or probably anything else from THEM

''You should totally sleep with him! Then when he still doesn't give you what you want, get really mad and tell him he's an a-hole and a jerk, then tell your friends what a jerk and a womanizer he is an how all men are trash. Then watch them line up to try to sleep with him! Lol!''

ROFLMFAO-- just seen that dude, LOL, so funny and yet so true

I don't really read too many books on the subject but I'll look.
I wouldn't really advise "playing hard to get" as much as to change your mind about it and not care so much. Playing hard to get is just a mind game and your real feelings will eventually show through. Honestly, the fact that he's a player would sort of disqualify him to me until he proved himself.

My now husband was a "player" who had it set in his mind to never settle down. He had a bad reputation for flirting with EVERYONE and I know many women that had slept with him. He said to me on our 3rd date that he didn't ever want to get married - I brushed it off, "Oh you'll get married , probably not to me but you will." I wasn't trying to snag him at all since he was a player and I was just recently divorced. I was just there cause he tried so hard to snag a date that I felt guilty. He proposed two months later.

Don't EVER have sex without monogamy- that's the key. Continue to date who ever you want ( no sex with any of them) He'll try and handcuff you into a committment, don't give in to that easily either. This sounds harsh and so old school but it REALLY helps to filter out the men that will be a waste of your time and at the same time makes him value you. Also, don't do this in a bitchy way, just make it your nature. Be your normal sweet self but realize you are the prize, not the other way around. Women should NEVER chase a guy, he has to chase you and even after a committment, relationship, marriage, whatever, men are the hunters, we women are the choosers. If this changes somewhere down the road he WILL lose interest. Strong men NEED the hunt and will look elsewhere if you deny it to them.

Getting a man turned on is easy, making him FEEL something for you is the hard part. When he pulls away, you pull away and remove your attention. When he does something you like, reward his behavior somehow ( this is NOT the time to play hard to get). This way, you sort of train people how to treat you. If you always do that throughout all your relationships people will treat you better and value you as a person and your only problem will be, which guy do I choose? There are too many to pick from.