Hey guys,

I need your help with something, this is a serious topic. This is the 2nd time I'm bringing this up.

In the last two nights I've been in the best mood (state) ever. Me and my wing were lording the club, opening sets left and right, dancing with tons of chicks. On both nights I wasn't able to pull but nevertheless these were good nights as far as I'm concerned... I'm seeing three girls regularly, I have as much sex as I want. I go out purely to have fun and improve my skill, get numbers for a rainy day, etc. I'd be happy to pull home a quick one or add another girl to my list of girlfriends but the point is that I am NOT needy in anyway, I don't need sex, I don't come with an agenda - I'm just there to give value and have fun.

Now here comes the problem:

Yesterday I was trying a new opener I came up with - coming up to girls in a "fake shy" why, slowly, looking to the sides, tapping on their shoulder in a really awkward way and saying all "shy" - "hey! I'm X whats your name??". This opened every single set, there wasn't any girl who wouldn't smile, tell me her name, and start a convo with me. This works because it shows that I'm socially intelligent, that I know "the deal", that I'm confident enough to make a joke out of the scene and myself, that I'm funny, and it shows some vulnerability... a soft side.

Today I was trying something different. I was watching earlier Tims Flawless Natural (RSD) and decided to open with "full 100% intent" as he calls it.

I basically just came up to girls with a loud "HEY! I'M X WHAT'S YOUR NAME?" - full frontal - sometimes putting my hand out for a shake. I even opened a few times with just pointing at a girl then gesturing her with my finger to "come over here".

I simply couldn't be more confident. My wing did the same. We got tons of AI, a nice make out, a few dances and twirls, but the bottom line is that this was FAR from being effective as it should have been. The "fake shy" opener from the night before worked better.

I've been reading "the way of the superior man" recently and according to the book and to ALL OTHER PUA THEORY - what women respect most is POWER - certainty. Intent. Confidence. They want a man who KNOWS what he wants and GOES for it. You all know what I'm talking about.

The problem is that night after night I see evidence to the contrary.

A case in point from tonight - a 3 set. HB7s. I start dancing with one of the chicks, getting closer, closer... making out. Great. We dance for maybe 3-4 minutes, making out a few more times, I make sure to always be the one who breaks it off. She puts her hand under my shirt, she looks at me all seductive... it's on. Then she takes a step back and tells me "dance!", looking at the floor in front of me as if giving me instructions to "dance for her"... so I come closer to her and say "I don't take orders from anyone" and back off a little, still inside her air space, smiling, not angry or anything... just being my cool self, the same self she was making out with 20 seconds earlier.

Now - according to the theory - my refusal to dance for her should have been highly attractive. I did not jump thru her hoop, I stood my ground, I showed her that I'm a man and that I don't take shit from no one.... We WERE dancing anyway, so ordering me to in front of her was purely a power game.

So what happened?

SHE LEFT!

She just turned around and fucking LEFT.

Now who knows, maybe it was because her friend was dancing alone, maybe she decided that we made out too much too quickly... whatever. But I have a very strong feeling that she left because I REFUSED to do what she told me to do. According to the "theory" she should have been TURNED ON by my refusal.

WTF???

Every night, again and again, I see how complete CHODES with no game and no confidence are able to pick up women while my supposedly superior inner game and 100% full intent FAIL. These guys who come to the girls all shy, back off, get closer again, come from behind, back off again, smile to their chode friends, then finally go in - have ZERO game and know NOTHING about pick up - GET GIRLS ALL THE TIME. They display MASSIVE WEAKNESS, shit that I wouldn't dream of doing, and get girls with perhaps more consistency than I do.

Now, I know what some of you guys are going to say... that perhaps my confidence comes off as arrogance and that girls hate that. But believe me - I KNOW what I'm doing. I'm in complete control and I opened maybe 20 sets tonight, playing with different variations of the same "100% full intent" opener.

IT SUCKED.

What I see is that girls are TURNED OFF by guys who are FULLY confident. They want to see that you have at least SOME weakness built into you. They DON'T want a "real man". They want a 90% man, someone who would be a man but only to a certain point. This completely contradicts every PUA and sexual theory that I've read, it just doesn't make ANY sense, but that's what I see AGAIN AND AGAIN every single night.

Does anybody know what I'm talking about? Did anybody else observe this?

This simply disgusts me. If this is true it basically means that all (or most) women want nothing but to control us and that the idea of a "strong man" is a myth designed to lead us to THINK that we are in control while in reality we aren't.

Now there are some cases in which a woman really wants to be controlled, especially during sex. But I feel that in general, their real agenda is making us THINK that we are in control while they actually use and manipulate us. Chicks say this to each other all the time - "I let him THINK that he does what he wants but the truth is that dot dot dot hahahah".....


Basically half of the advice in "the way of the superior man" revolves around the fact that women are NUTS and that we should just learn to LOVE THEM FOR IT. If you read the book, you know what I'm talking about.

FUCK THAT.

If women are nuts then I only want them as sexual partners. This is terrible "news" for me because I'm really trying to see women in a different light (after my LUNATIC ex of 9 years.....) but it's just doesn't seem to work, I keep seeing evidence that they are nothing but manipulative bitches who are looking for WEAK men who they can control.

Any thoughts on this????

Thanks

Too much confidence shows how arrogant, obnoxious, and ignorant you are.

Girls find it very cute or attractive if a guy is SOME WHAT nervous.

Yes girls like men who are in control, but you don't need to blatantly show it the way you do. Girls aren't going to be like "oh he's in control, I like him", they will like you on a subconscious level by the bits and things you do that show you are in control.

You have to let the girl do the decision making too, or else she will feel secluded.

And I applaud you for not dancing for that chick, that's some chode shit, fuck her.

Dude, I said I was not arrogant... I said that this is what some of you guys will say... I was just super fun and sure of my self. The heart of the matter is this:

"Girls find it very cute or attractive if a guy is SOME WHAT nervous"

Yes, exactly. WHY is being nervous attractive? WHY? It makes NO SENSE unless deep inside their agenda is to find someone who gets nervous so they can STEP ON HIM when the right time comes.

Being nervous is a WEAKNESS. You won't find any mention of nervousness in "the way of the superior man". Weakness is not going to help spread your genes in nature. So WTF is going on here??

Well if youre not being funny , confindence by itself won't do anything.You being a little nervous makes them laugh,and in a better mood , they get turned on.You being confindent saying EXACTLY what you want,won't surprise them at all.
Girls are not looking for guys that are confindent.THEY LOOK FOR THE GUYS THAT WILL SURPRISE THEM OVER AND OVER AGAIN.

For example the surprise of you being indirect ,and later surprise them with a kiss is a pleasant surprise.They like it.Girls always want things that are unexpected.

Maybe because it shows that you are still human, that has normal emotions? And on top of that.. what gabi4play said.

You know what you are saying with this? You think a real fuckin' man is perfect? With this mentallity you will be seen as an arrogant person even if you are not.

EDIT: I've also read your 'Period of Peace' BS. You are trying to tell us, and convince women you are not an arrogant person, but you are actually BSing every single girl you may come in a relationship with this, just because it is inconvenient for you to deal with women when their hormons are a bit nuts.

_________________
What I like in life is nothing more but living it.

You can't be "perfect." Confidence is great, but if it's "fake" (if you have to be pumped up to get it), it may backfire.

So show some humanity. Don't dance for her (I'd do the same thing, and most likely any self-respecting person on this forum too), but show that you are human. Nobody's perfect.

And those chodes getting women? Well, 1st of all women sometimes like to be in power - and they get desperate sometimes. Those chodes are there, and good for one night. You don't have to get all pissed off just because of one night problem. Don't worry you're gonna fuck the next night .

PS: Not every woman wants the same thing; just go to the next one and talk to her.

Dude, sometimes we don't know how we come off to the other person. Saying you don't take orders from no one sounds like you wanted to tack on "... and I certainly wouldn't take any from you!" or "I'm no one's bitch!"

I suggest the next time a girl challenges you to show your skills, do it. -Or at least respond playfully like, "what do I get in return??" or "I only do private performances" or whatever line you've got. They are intrigued when you are charmingly unpredictable. It's like, what else could he have up his sleeve? and then they're hooked.

And you sound like you're reaching a little with this whole "weak man" theory. I don't think girls like weak men. That implies being a pushover and someone who doesn't deserve much respect. Appearing shy does not necesarrily mean weak. In a club scene, girls know guys are on the hunt. It could just be that you seemed less predator-like with this shy approach.

I immediately transitioned to some funny joke. I opened so many sets yesterday, I did so many variations...

What Tim says on those CDs is to just put yourself out there, be super confident and then "BOOM, they go WHO the FUCK is that guy???" - Did NOT work.

The only intelligent explanation I have is that it's too direct and shows too much interest. Maybe being insecure translates in THEIR insecure mind to "this guy is not sure if he wants me or not" and hence to less "directness"

...but I don't think so. It's so easy to see when someone is nervous. This would be in nature a major weakness, how can they find it attractive??

It's not BS it's a Jewish tradition that goes back 5000 years. OK dude? And I didn't even try it yet... out of some stupid guilt / shame... it really does make me feel like a prick. I hinted towards it, but couldn't just put it out there like that... I'm a good Jewish boy (unfortunately).


I'm thinking to just have a calendar, mark their periods and avoid them for that week... I'm not saying do it with your wife, but if you have a f buddy, a few of them, you have a busy scheduled, and sex is a major part of your relationship then it makes perfect sense man. Don't argue with a 5000 years old tradition

Just look at the names of the chapters:

29. Choose a Woman Who Chooses You [WTF?????? it basically means that we have no real free choice]

30. What She Wants Is Not What She Says [Oh... great]

31. Her Complaint Is Content-Free [cool... complain babe, it's OK.]

32. She Doesn’t Really Want to Be Number One [She just thinks so and says so, but she doesn't know what she is talking about]

33. Your Excellent Track Record Is Meaningless to her [Thanks babe!]

34. She Wants to Relax in the Demonstration of Your Direction. [Great, that makes me feel awesome, let me work my ass off while you relax babe]

16. Women Are Not Liars [he basically tells us here why their lies are not lies]

17. Praise her [oh, that's a good one. Another term for KISS HER ASS]

18. Tolerating Her Leads to Resenting Her ............

19. Don’t Analyze Your Woman [because they are freaking lunatics who don't make sense]

20. Don’t Suggest that a Woman Fix Her Own Emotional Problem [we need to fix it for them]

21. Stay With Her Intensity – To a Point [be a bitch... to a point. Thanks David, didn't know this one]

22. Don’t Force the Feminine to Make Decisions [yep.... don't make decisions babe]


OK, this requires a long post..... everything he says is 100% true but I'm not sure what it means for me when it comes to women... I have to think about this for a while.

Having FWB, F buddies etc is cool but MOVING IN with a woman? Getting MARRIED? Till death do us part??? The older I get the crazier these notions seem.

Right... fuck buddies. I said I'd read your post. Should I quote you word by word then... Seems like it's not only women who sometimes say differently then they actually think. Does that make you a lunatic? Just avoiding them is not unacceptable of course especially if they're just your fbuddies but how would I know that since the "#1 rule" didn't sound like that to mee. Oh and for those points I will also tell you my opinion(definitely not saying I know better than you... It's just my opinion)

29. It's just catchy this way. What it tries to say is if she is not attracted then don't bother chasing her.

30. This goes for every single human on Earth.

31/20. One can not agree with both of these points. I usually leave most of my women's problems for their friends to fix them. Of course if it has anything to do with me, I could, in fact, I should help her fixing it but only if we're in a relationship. Other than that she has plenty of AFCs and bitches around her for her problems. Usually when they complain to me, they don't really want me to fix them, they just want me to listen. That's my experience at least...

32. Well technically YOU should be number one not HER but she can't tell you this, now can she?

33. I don't get this one without reading the whole stuff...

34. I don't even get what this is trying to say, but seems like BS to me.

16. Oh yes they are. Everyone lies once in a while. Some more, some less...still, depends.

17. I agree with you here. This is BS.

18. Just...Utter BS. Healthy relationships are based on accepting and tolerating EACH OTHER just as they are, with all their flaws and mistakes.

19. They're not lunatics. They're just different. They're wired to act and react emotionally not rationally.

21. I don't get your comment. How does being on the same intensity level with her equal being a bitch? I actually agree with this point.

22. Yes... you shouldn't FORCE her to do anything. You should LEAD her. That's very different...

_________________
What I like in life is nothing more but living it.

I'll tell you why, in my opinion, those nervous bumbling idiots pull women who we, the so-called power players of the pick up game cannot.

It's mainly two reasons :

1. Some women want to be in control of their situations all the time. This even extends to their dating and their relationships. They want to be on top and dominate everything, every minute. Now, will you give her that liberty. No, you won't. Your mind won't allow you that. But, for say, a lesser man, it's easy to submit to her. Hell, some women search for such poor bastards whom they can tie dog collars round their necks and play fetch with them at the weekends.

2. Women want to see what effect they have on us. While you maintain your cool, confident front while talking to her, another guy is literally tripping over himself and tell her, "I'm sorry for being an idiot but you're gorgeous." and he's walking away with her at the end of the night while you're thinking that you did everything right. Even negged her perfectly, then why's she going away with a "chode"? Well, that "chode" played a brilliant card, unknowingly, but letter her know that she had such a big effect on his person. Make no mistake, women dress up for men. They want to see themselves the way men see them. Those so called "chodes" are making them feel like goddesses. For all your calm, cool air you're making her feel like "just another woman". Now tell me, who's the winner?

These are just my suggestions.

_________________
" You're born alone and you die alone and this world just drops a bunch of rules on top of you to make you forget those facts. But I never forget. I'm living like there's no tomorrow, because there isn't one. "

It's not bad to show some vulnerability instead of being a non-stop robot that can't be hurt. You are human, let a woman take over the conversation when they feel like it . Stop thinking everything they say is a shit test. Dare to act AFC as it's funny. Real men can handle that.

To return to your situation: When a girls challenges you to dance, it's a challenge, not a fkn shit test. Don't be a douche and dance ffs.

@phangan - Have you ever thought the problem here is YOU? You seem to have taken this stuff way to seriously and it backfired because you acted like an arrogant bastard. You need to know when to give up control. If you want to be able to score a girl you need to know how to "tango" with her. Being in control and going full title on confidence ain't going to get you any girls.