Hi guys.
I need to your help here because I'm having some trouble understanding what I want and I just can't manage to solve it myself (pen + piece of paper isn't enough). So I need somebody from the outside to look at this. This is a bit long but I want you guys to see the full picture. Please read it, I really need help.
I met this HB9 girl somewhere in February right after i finished reading "The Mystery Method", "The Game", "Double your dating", other stuff. We had a nice chat, a lot od DHV on my side, 1 small neg to her. We got together some time later and before our meeting I made a cheat sheet for myself and basically used everything I had on her. It was meant only to check if these routines can make you successful. I made out with her on date 1 (I have no fear of k-closing somehow). We met up later and it turned out she researched some of my routines which kinda freaked me out. I got to know her better that day and found that I like her quite a bit (nerd, from nerd family, plays LOL, minecraft, The witcher, first girl I ever met like that). After some dates we went to a party together, she got really drunk (kinda my fault cuz she's very ambitious so we drank the same amount but I'm huge and she's petit), and we went to sleep at her brothers place. We would have had sex, but I couldn't get rock hard because of all the alcohol and it turned out she was also a virgin at the time (I'm 100% sure of this). So nothing happened all in all. (I know i might be giving to much detail here, but please bear with me). After 1 more casual date she invited me to her home for a grill. We basically stayed together all night and I learned a lot about her. One thing I learned was that she had made out in the past with about 40 guys, kept a diary of all those guys, gave many of those blowjobs, handjobs, many ate her out. I told her I want to be with her even despite all that. So we were together from that point. But she told me that if it bothers me she won't talk about it. Here I made a huge mistake by saying that I have also been with many women. I haven't, made out with 6 up to that point. But I've been upholding that lie ever since. So evey time she mentions a guy she made out with or slept with I just replied with the same. I was really cool at the start of the relationship but soon I started getting jealous (but i fought with it and tried to not let her know), started missing her a lot (got me depressed many times, she lives like 2.5 hours from me). I really felt and still feel that i love her. I met her parents, they like me a lot. We made plans for the future. But here's the thing. There are days that I think that I could be together with this girl forever. On other days I want her to cheat on me so I can dump her. The problem with dumping her is she gives me no real reason to do it. So I'll just be an ass if I go through with that. I really want to go out and meet other girls and have fun. But whenever I do i just see how much better my girl is. I feel really bad about her being with so many guys before. But i know she's probably gonna be faithful to me cuz deep down shes a good girl. I'm terribly unconfident in bed even though I make her get orgasms. And sometimes I can't get hard because I imagine her giving the same kind of blowjob to another guy and it just makes me lose it. We do have sex though. I'm not unhappy with her. actually she makes me really happy whenever we're together. But when she's far away I always imagine her fooling around with other guys. I don't know what else I can add. I'm trying to get as much info out there so you can tell me what to do. I don't know what to do. should I dump her and get more confident by sarging other women? Or is there some other way to resolve this problem that I just can't see. She's basically my dream girl. And I often feel I don't deserve her and that I can't please her. There are too many thoughts in my mind now. Help...

I will have no sympathy for you.

This' the prob' with many guys who enter the community for the first time;they settle for the firs girl they meet or lay.

You studied great PU books months ago,now you're caught up in a BS situation when you should be seducing other girls.

This girl should've just been a fling.

But you made the mistake most newbies do and get into an LTR with a stranger.

This girl is a friggin' player compared to you.

She's not thinking of you,nor does she give a crap about you.

But you're left to be whining over her.

Dumping her wont be easy so dont kid yourself.

This girl could cheat on you 100 times,you still wont be able to dump her in your current needy mindset.

So dont kid yourself into wanting her to cheat so you have an excuse to dump her.

Until you start being a man and meeting other girls,you'll forever be stressing over this one.

Stay single until you're savvy enough to make proper decisions on whom you date and with whom you enter an LTR.

_________________
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Now active on YT again with PUA, Red Pill, Manosphere content:
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I stopped reading after the part where you said the girl lives 2.5 hours away. Long distance relatioships aren`t real relationships. Let me be the one to break the news to you...She is NOT your girlfriend! She`s your "once or twice a month lay", nothing more...Continue gaming other women, ideally those in your area. You don`t have to dump the girl, just stop getting so hung up on her and face reality

Stay with her, game other women...Simple! you are a nice guy though trying to be a pua. Her past is Irrelevant(is in your head does not mean shit, same shit happen to me) if she is under 24 she may be messing with other guys, specially because you are a nice guy(not an absolute true, maybe 100% faithful).

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Wtf!

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wtf is this bullshit? I don't want to be too off-topic here but I think you've got your priorities wrong. I love gaming women, I love seducing them. It's fun and I find it very rewarding. But christ! If i find that one girl that I genuinely think that I could spend the rest of my life with, you sure as hell know that I'll try to do it.

There was one guy I knew at uni last year, who had this great girl. They suited each other, and seemed happy. She was really loyal to him, but eventually he decided he hadn't been with enough women yet and wanted more experience. So he broke up with her. Now he's depressed because he gave up one of the things that made him really happy for regular one night stands. It's not worth it!

So on topic. Do what you think would make you happy. If you're not comfortable with this girl because of her past encounters and how she has more than you or how you''re less experienced and you genuinely think you could never get over that, then you're no going to work. End of story. Just tell her the truth and move on. But if you think you could actually spend your life with this girl and be happy then you have to try or you'll regret it in the future.

In my opinion.
A good fulfilling relationship > random one night stands.

Points your way! Respect

_________________
Learn the proper way to maximize your results in a dancefloor/club environment, check out my blog and youtube channel:
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i think what k-loc was saying, since like me, he has more than a few years on most of the posters in this forum. and, like me, in many instances, is older enough to be your fathers, lol...

in light of that...

i think k-loc was saying

stop thinking every girl is the perfect girl.

until you are at least 30 years old, more like 35, it is impossible to have any fucking idea what "the perfect woman" is.

trust me.

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what dr. house brings to medicine, i bring to everyday life (an extreme dose of cynicism), don't listen to the curmudgeon!

You didnt understand what I said?

_________________
Most active PUA blog in the community since 2009.
https://kennyspuathoughts.wordpress.com ... arly-2022/

Now active on YT again with PUA, Red Pill, Manosphere content:
https://youtu.be/tj5rnL_qKfM

Exactly my poin Mack 2.0.

I dont know where my point got misinterpreted.

Guys jump into the dating world or community and settle for the first chicc they fucc.

How could you've foun "the one" in just one shot?

Plus as Mr.Amazing eluded to,this chicc is not your gf!

Just an occasional lay.

Man the F up!!

We're not saying to move on.

We're saying to keep her yet date other women.

Instead of crying over this one.

_________________
Most active PUA blog in the community since 2009.
https://kennyspuathoughts.wordpress.com ... arly-2022/

Now active on YT again with PUA, Red Pill, Manosphere content:
https://youtu.be/tj5rnL_qKfM

100% correct...

_________________
Learn the proper way to maximize your results in a dancefloor/club environment, check out my blog and youtube channel:
http://www.dancefloorseduction.com

Dancefloor/Club game youtube channel:
http://www.youtube.com/dancefloorseduction