dont screw more woman. theres a thing my friend said to me: 'the best way to get over someone, is to get under someone' - it was total nonsense and i ended up AFC'ing for an age, rather unsucesfully. your not annoied that you dont have this girl, its most likley that your annoied ad yourself for : 'letting her go', 'f**king it up' etc etc etc. think about why it really ended, that will make you feel better and take her off this pedistal u have put her on. she is disposable, there are plenty o' fish, shes not the one, there is no one, let go of your delusions.

ps:

i was increadibly deluded when i suffered from oneitus. i first told myself that i left her becuase she was to imature for me, this is codswallop. i left her becuase i was afraid that she wanted to leave me, and i did not want to be the guy with his d**k in the wind. she wanted to leave me because i tortured her (extream cat string theiory in play) by makeing her think i had lost interest in her after makeing her fall madly in love with me. so she wanted to leave becuase i destroied her confidence in the relationship> she put up her defences> and made herself think she wasent into me >told me so> damaged my confidence> which rooted ultimatly in me dumping her, becuase the second she might not have been interested in me, man i totaly bricked it.

PPS: this is dam hard to do, your ego will get in the way all the time. the trick is brutal honesty. you need to break the muscle before you build it m8.

kind regards,

AV1

Dealing with oneitis isn't easy and the canned answers you always get won't work in all situations. Fucking 10 other women is a good advice if you're starting to think of a FB or FWB as an actual relationship, but completely useless in most other scenarios. Human relationships are so complex that it's foolish to think you can anticipate and solve every situation using cold logic and techniques meant to get you laid as much as possible. Sometimes, you can't consider every girl involved as disposable.

Let me tell you the situation my friend is in (it's actually my friend and not me in disguise). He's been with his gf for many years and they have a sort of non-exclusivity arrangement with some restrictions. Basically, he can't have one night stands with strangers and can only have safe sex.

He met a girl about 4 months ago, but it was only platonic for the first 2 months. Then one night, they spent the night together and they've been seeing each other every week or so since. Seemed to me he had a pretty good thing going (considering his arrangement), but he told me how it was different than with other girls. He was jealous toward her ex-bf (whom she was still sleeping with) and was thinking a lot about her, even when they weren't together. He would get nervous when she wouldn't call/text for a few days. He's normally a pretty rational guy, who knows better than to fall for a FB or FWB. He's being freaked out right now because she hasn't called or texted him for over 8 days straight. He keep saying to me he's afraid of screwing things up and loosing her as a friend. That doesn't sounds like the guy I know.

Clearly, telling him to go fuck 10 other women won't help him at all. It's not a case of discovering she's just another sexy chick in his bed, but more of what to do with how he feels about her. In my humble opinion, he's having sex with a girl that would definitively be relationship material for him if he was single. He's not single though, so unless he can convince his gf to try polygamy, he needs to stop approaching this FWB thing as an actual relationship. I think he should man up a bit toward his lady friend and either stop being so needy and AFC or just end the FWB arrangement and go back to not sleeping with her. Both are rather hard to do, but he can't go on like that as he'll most likely drive the girl away or end up getting so mad he'll dump her, both as a lover and a friend.

I always disagreed with oneitis bein cured by fuckin other women. End of the day the root problem far as I see it remains. You want that one girl to want you, and when you're out hookin up you still want a woman to want you. You're just using a proxy for that one girl, in my opinion. When I had a bad rejection, breakup, etc, my first goal was to go out the next night. I don't need to get hammered, I'll flirt with women if I want to, but my main goal is to have fun. I will call up a couple buddies and head to the bar, I'll start a game of poker with friends, go to the movies, whatever. I need to remind myself how life can kick ass even when I don't have a girl with me.