I had an amazing date with an HB9.5 despite some critical mistakes due to inner game issues. I'm talking 5 hours of fun with a girl who might have been a cuter version of Kristen Bell. The date got off to a shitty start at a winery when the asshole selling the wine hit on her. Actually, I gave her some flowers first to set the mood. Anyway, she's beautiful, and of course guys hit on her, but when you're taking a date to the winery, you expect the shithead behind the counter to shut the fuck up about his family business and how much he's into your date. The tool's name was Topher and he tried to hide the fact that he was hitting on HB9.5 by giving us both business cards in the hopes that she would call him. I should have called the freak on it but I didn't get too upset because HB9.5 seemed to encourage the idiot and even engaged the tool in technical jargon about the winery industry (she's a part time server while going to school for a Bachelor's in Chemistry)... before settling on a $16 bottle of wine, one of the cheapest on the menu. I was impressed by her consideration for my wallet, even though that's not a lot of money to me. The minute we left the winery, I tried to confront what happened without getting upset. She says she's never been in a relationship that lasted more than 3 months. "No wonder you've never been in a long term relationship," I said. "You've got a million options. That guy was totally hitting on you." HB9.5 demurely claimed that yes, she noticed he hit on her, but that such things never happen to her, and this was an exception. Yeah, right. Next we were off to eat at a nearby Italian restaurant, but neither of us knew where to go. Great, I thought. I should have prepared for this. I would have been ready if HB9.5 hadn't moved up the date from Sunday to Wednesday, and from 9 pm to 7:30 pm... but when you're on a date and screwing up, no excuse / explanation ever matters. Anyway, HB9.5's dress caught the eye of some kids on bikes, and when they stopped, she asked them where to go. HB9.5 and I engaged in conversation... about what, I don't remember, but it was probably about how her dress stopped traffic and the book 1984 which we've both read. Then, boom, we're in this nice cozy little italian restaurant, and the servers are taking orders from HB9.5, even though I'm the one who's paying. HB9.5 has such a dominant energy about her that shit like this happens, I guess. But we're in the restaurant talking and sipping wine, and then she's playing footsie with me under the table. Not cause of any canned line or bullshit like that... we were opening threads about interesting aspects of our lives. I'm a cancer survivor, and we've both had our share of good and bad relationships and all of those are compelling stories... (and if you want to be interesting on a date it can be as basic as going over interesting past events in your life and telling them in a dramatic way-- the yang energy is combining the stories with some easy jokes so that it doesn't get too emotional in a negative way). The restaurant meal is over. I want to pay the bill but the servers aren't around, so HB9.5 stands up and, like a dope, I'm stammering, "It was so nice to go on this date with you." And she's like, "What? Why're you telling me this?" And I'm like, "Cause you're leaving, right?" This, after all the footsy-ing and fun conversation and her staring deeply into my eyes. Shit. I have inner game issues up the ass. And she's like, "No, dork. We're leaving together." I'm like, "Um... okay!" So now we're on a walk through a park and I realize it's been a really long time since I liked a person this much... liked hanging out in this way. And we keep talking about her favorite color, and music she listens to, and yes, my guitar. Thank god for that chick whisperer of an instrument. Anyway, I blurt out, "Can I hold your hand?" And she's like, "What? No." And we walk to her car, and she makes fun of it, and then I'm like, "Well, nice seeing you." And she's like, "No, I'll walk you to your car." My car's up the street, and not in prime chick viewing condition-- there are half-inch thick collections of dirt on the back windows. "I can't believe you're letting me see it like this," she says. I can't believe it either, so I say nothing. We keep talking, but I don't remember exactly what about... possible topics: her vision of the perfect life, why she pierced her nose but doesn't wear the piercing, the conservative church upbringing that fucked my head up about women, short jokes (she's 5 ft 3!). It's all playful and fun, even though I just got shot down for a hand holding session. Then she says I can stroke her hair... so I do. She closes her eyes. My mind's screaming for me to kiss her but I don't. Then she's like, "Let's go for a walk.... and I noticed you're staring at my breasts." "You picked the dress," I say. And we burn a few minutes on yet another walk, but somehow I'm failing to realize that this her way of making me comfortable with fooling around with her. We sit down and her legs are almost completely exposed... and I lose track of the conversation and she laughs. I make a dick joke almost reflexively and then say, "I'm killing the romance of this moment." "What romance?" She asks. Brutal. My mind gets all fucked up and like "kissing her would be too risky". This has been my first date in a long time. I'm not a great looking guy. She's probably toying with me. Back in the parking lot she lets me stroke her hair and once again she closes her eyes. Like the tool I sometimes am, I only give her a hug. It's 1 in the morning and we both have jobs.

wow.

Wow wow wow.

Watch the Blueprint decoded, work on your inner game. Go on as many dates as you can, with experience you will become more comfortable. You should go to 2-3 dates a week. PLAN your dates. Know EXACTLY what you're doing. Plan a perfect date, or rather "day 2" and run that same "date" again and again on every girl. Don't do dinner dates, do something FUN together. Bounce at least 3-4 times during the date: frozen yogurt -> mini golf -> window shopping -> your place.

NEVER ask a girl CAN I HOLD YOUR HAND. WTF?????

Just throw your hand out there and let her grab it. Do it on a HIGH point when she is laughing about some jokes. NEVER show a girl you care about someone flirting with her! Jesus how many mistakes.

Just read as much material as you can, listen to as many podcasts as you can... all the information is out there...

Wait a 3-4 days and then invite her over to your place. Tell her that you are going to make a Sushi dinner to your friends and you never made sushi before so you need to practice first, and you want her to be the first one to taste your sushi. Then go online and learn how to make it, it's not that hard. A girl will NEVER refuse Sushi

Ok, I am a new poster, but I have solid first date game. (It's the day 4's where I fuck up haha.)
Ok, when a girl opens the door to her house and beckons you in what would you do? That's right you go in. You need to take the same mentality with everything. The first time she closes her eyes to be kissed you did right by not kissing her, this is using push pull tactics.

The second time actually go in for it, you have created a tension where she might be rejected but since you will accept this time it shows that you are in control (which a girl with a commanding presence actually starts to feel a tingle below the waste since you are showing her she doesn't call the shots.)

Phangan is right about inner game. Until you are comfortable with yourself, no women will be.

It sounds like you know where you fucked up, but take it all as a learning experience and build a strong foundation over the weak part of your game. Then we will be seeing Lay Reports by TidalWaveRider.

It's insane how much this epic fail of a date still managed to heal my inner game. This morning I woke up feeling like I was The Shit... and when I walked down the street, I could feel the eyes of a lot of women looking at me, objectifying me. Normally I think no one's looking. But at the Del Taco restaurant, there was this HB7.5 who was standing in line behind me, and every time I turned around she was staring into my eyes. Then, as I picked up the food and started towards her (she was standing by the exit), I could hear her suck in her breath. Meanwhile I'm a 7. I'm in decent, not great, shape (slimmer build). And I don't have the movie star face. It had to be the energy I was oozing. Evidently, going on dates with hot girls SIGNIFICANTLY ups your inner game.
Will watch BluePrint Decoded.
Thank you for the bounce suggestion.
I know, the "can I hold your hand?" thing probably scared her. Lmfao xD. Otherwise, how fucked up in the head are chicks that they want to be kissed while rejecting hand holding? You're right, if I'd just put it out there, it would have been no sweat for her.
As for my comment on the whole winery dude hitting on her thing, I think I came off as impressed that she had that level of preselection. Not angry, not needy. Just like, "Oh, wow. So that happened." And she seemed to soften at my appreciation of that. Is it still the wrong move?
Sushi... xD. Not happening, but I'm sure someone reading the thread will. Thanks again for your analysis.

Your positive and encouragement have led me to decide to post the epic fail of a text game of the morning after.

Me: hey there beautiful, I'd like to take you out... the sooner the better...
Her:(47 mins later) How's october 12? :p
Me: Very funny... you kept me thinking about you all night.
Her: Ok... I can fit you in late december sometime. xD
Me: Lmfao xD. Do you torture all the boys this way? Shame on you.
Her: No. Just you.
Me: Mmm... I like the sound of that, sexy (). You made 5 hrs seem like 30 seconds. I literally went home like, "It's over now?" and then the clock was like, "Uh... yeah, dork. It's 1 am!"
Her: Haha
Me: You really shudn't be amused at that. When can I see you again? And, more importantly, will you be wearing those delicious shorts? (Mhm... her legs make those shorts delicious!)
Her: I'm going to be conservative next time.
Me: Don't. Please don't. Save that for later.
Her: Nope! It's happening.
Me: Can I say ANYTHING to change your mind? () You're way too exciting and a free spirit to want to get into conservative clothing. Oh, yeah. And I'll miss the eye candy.
Her: I'm not eye candy so it does fit... what bothers me is when someone wants it, but restrains themselves from a natural urge. We are animals. I'm an animal. I need passionate kissing. (

Me: What a coincidence. I need passionate kissing too. Maybe something should be arranged...
Her: Not until the 10th date.
Me: I thought about kissing you about a million times last night. Or maybe a hundred and three thousand times.
Her: But you didn't... Fail!
Me: You wouldn't let me hold your hand. (Which, even if true, is a shitty excuse-- a stronger frame would have prevented this)
Her: I like kissing... Hand feels intimate.
Me: I bet kissing you is an amazing feeling. Your lips are really inviting.

SHOULD HAVE STOPPED HERE BUT HERE COMES THE SELF-DESTRUCTIVE FINALE....

Me: Btw this is the greatest thing ever. If this doesn't work out, I'm gonna have proof that a girl as attractive and incredible as you asked me to kiss her via text. I could really go for a nice long makeout session. You are so easy to talk to and get to know...
Her: (after 40 mins)
Me: You went from being so open and honest to closing yourself off completely... Within like seconds. Did I say something wrong, princess? (To a damn smiley face?! Are you kidding me? Letting her unspoken presumably negative thoughts impact me was the worst thing I could have done... do NOT make this mistake ppl)

Her: Went to class.
Me: Swear on your sister's life?
Her: No! I would never! Well, maybe the little one.
Me: If something's in your pretty little head, I'm listening [once again letting her unspoken presumably negative thoughts impact me, and be all beta]
Her: What? What are you saying?
Me: Hahaha... I'm saying you can tell me anything. You don't have to have a filter.
Her: I think you are trying to say that there is something I'm not saying. I told you that there is nothing more attractive than confidence. It's just an extra layer I have to peel away and its already a lot of work getting to know someone. I don't want to keep fighting your lack of confidence. So man up! ok? [poor thing, she speaks the truth... a damn angel at this point]
Me: Why thank you coach. xD Yes. For you I will. [I'm totally cheesy, and pathetic... it's over, but I just don't realize it]

I then send her two filler texts about bullshit before this GIGANTIC MELTDOWN happens:

Me: How come I keep thinking about you? Can we please go back to 1 am before I left and relive the kiss I should have delivered? There are a million things I think are so refreshing about you. You think for yourself instead of letting the church or society program you. You have a strong personality that I think I'm really compatible with. I felt a real connection with you. I like the way you flaunt what you have and then wonder if it is all that (and it is all that, baby). Or your aggressiveness and how real you were about past mistakes or your love for your little girl. I like the sound of your laugh. I loved all three of our walks last night. The fact that you love lizards but hate cockaroaches. Your sophisticated taste for wine. Your ability to stop boys in bikes with just a magical flick of your dress as if you're tinkerbell in neverneverland [kill me now, plz]. We share similarities: a sense of humor based on sarcasm and silliness, complementary artistic gifts (you act, i create plays; you sing, i play guitar) and interests in activities like hiking or bird and people watching. Last night was magical, missy. For me relationships develop and over time go from friends to best friends to lovers [don't waste time telling me what a huge tool I am for saying / thinking this, i got it already]. And that's what I believe makes them special. I would break that rule for you... but that's not who I am. Is that a deal breaker? If this is the end, I get it. You don't have to explain why. Just take care babe. [having totally fucked myself, i wait for 30 mins and then write] On the other hand, you *could* choose to message me, princess... if you actually *wanted* to...
Her: Hey! That was a lot to read. (Translation: I just noticed how much you fucked yourself but I'm in denial)
Me: Lmfao xD. What do you expect? I like writing. Second date time and day plz.
Her: No! (should have been more like NOOOOOOOOO)
Me: Or else I will throw you in a shoebox and you wouldn't like that cause its dark in there (too late for humor, having epically fucked myself... but I'm starting to realize it and trying to recover with a string of negs) Want to hear the cons I have in my head about you? 1. You're so fast paced I'm scared you have venereal disease. 2. You have trouble reading... A real problem since I love texting you. 3. You sometimes treat me like I'm your robot and your energy of dominance is so high everyone picks up on it (a neg with a DLV, yay!) 4. You use curse words often... 5. You are a dork. Can I call you right now?
Her (4 hours later): I'm at work, buddy!
Me: O rlly. Cause I was about to suggest ice cream at the nearest Coldstone. Alright gorgeous. Just brushed my teeth and I'm off to bed. Say goodnight to me babe.
Her: Ok. I whispered it. Did you hear? (throwing me a bone... cause she's a sweetheart)
Me: Mhm. I sure did missy. (Translation: I'm a part of the cement... step on me)

THE NEXT MORNING (Today)
Me: Good morning Sunshine. Admit you're glad to see this text.
Her: Hmmmm. (The reality of my freak out is sinking in)
Me: You were probably smiling to yourself when you texted that "Hmmm" which means I was right, so I win and you lose
Her: Nope. It could have been nice, it a little too much (She's an angel for being so real and honest... someone great should date this girl)
Me: Grr. How so?
Her: Slow down, buddy. You shouldn't make an opinion about me yet. We only met once. I could never live up to any kind of expectations.
Me: Just be you. Let go of your perceptions of what I want. It's early and things change. You're right. We barely met. I just wanted to take a minute to enjoy the memory of the first date and let you know I noticed and remembered the little things. It wasn't an engagement proposal. (too little, too late) Thanks for the straight talk. Honestly, I might have been crushing on you too much (ya think?)
Her: Hmmm....
Me: I guess conservative boys are a lil crazy. "No, I will not kiss you... But I will think of you as a goddess." Ugh.
Her: I know conservative boys that wouldn't think of me like a goddess, but would kiss me. That's not conservative, it's just silly.
Me: Ooo burn. Not sure there's a witty comeback to that.
Her: Trust me... (she didn't finish the sentence but she would have finished the sentence with "there isn't")
Me (10 mins later, in a blaze of inspiration): So I screwed up. Is that it? One strike and you're out? Sorry boy, but zero fuck ups allowed?
Her (shocking statement): No.
Me: XD Ok. Btw whats this bullshit about dyslexia? (She claims to be dyslexic, but she's great at texting within seconds... hmm...)
Her: True.
Me: Look, I need the weekend to get my shit together. I really like the person you projected yourself to be. Whether that's who you really are, I don't know. Whether I'd get along with the real you, I don't know. I do know that I want to see you again next week. Is that cool with you?
Her: Yes. (She's trying to be a saint, but don't worry, it all unravels soon) I'm just saying, "Cool off." I like you.
Me: Yikes. I could text you all day long. Ttyl. (responding with praise to the statement "Cool off"... it's so ridiculous, but when you're dating again after a long break, it's hard to see clearly in the moment.)
(Twelve hours later)
Me: Promise not to freak out if I call you?
(Thirty minutes later)
Me: ...pretty please? :3
Her: At work.
Me: Is it over yet or is this an extra long shift?
Her: Working till 11 (not really, but it's a good excuse)
Me: Hang in there, princess. Ttyl.

At about 10:13, though, she calls me and helps clear the illusion that I have any shot at this point. She says looking for a lot of different things: cuddle buddy, friend, lover, etc and that a number of guys can take applications. She then asks me to play my guitar. Maybe this was her way of rebuilding her nicer thoughts about me. Instead, I tell her that she's making me feel like a dancing bear. Because everything she asks I must do, and she's forcing me to compete with other guys for each position. She says fine, and then I'm struggling to find a topic to talk about... because it's awkward and I'm starting to realize how badly I fucked everything up for her. This chick actually wanted to like me. Half way through our conversation, her phone keeps cutting out. And then, it's gone. I call her a couple of times but goes to her answering machine. Finally, I text her goodbye.

Me: You boosted my self esteem to heights never attained. This is a dip, but I still feel better about myself. You're not being nearly as bad as you think you are. Next time, dork, have the class to say it's over. And really, I don't blame you. It's been so long and the person I am and the person I want to be are not yet in the same hemisphere. Take care of yourself. You left me happier than you found me. I'm a super talent who will rise. Maybe you will, too.

Within seconds of sending her that text...
Her: Hey, my phone's acting funny.
Me: Is that so? x3
Her: Yes. So stop trippin.
Me: x3

I'm laughing at the fact that she's BSing. It's over and I like her and even though she's still trying, I'm gonna let her go.

That WILL be the last text I send her... I think.

Some more stuff happened but there's no point in posting if I don't get feedback. PLEASE analyze some of this shit.

You really should post whatever else you have to post so we can get the full story.

But either way, you've got inner game issues to work out. Work that out, go out and meet other women, and one day you'll find someone just as good as this HB 9.5. Props on you letting her go though, she sounds like she does deserve someone who has their life together

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Day By Day, Night After Night

xD Take those props back, asshole. I do have my life together outside of the game. A job, a car, a Masters degree (soon to be Doctorate). And big dreams and the drive and work ethic to get there. There was a time when I had game, too. A lot of it. Hot girls in my college classes chased after me. Hard to imagine, but true. I let being 20 lbs overweight after chemotherapy and a bad relationship erase my sense of self. Maybe she deserves better. That's up to her, and if she decides that, I'm gonna be supportive of her choice. But it's rare when you feel a real connection with another person. So I find myself chasing her. She's a 9.5 to me. Would everyone else say so? Maybe there are positives she finds appeals about who I am. Why else would she want to kiss me? Who knew guys could be this catty. Leave that to the chicks, dork. I will tell you the latest update though. Not that you deserve it, asshole.

Me: Cooling off sucks.
Her: ...You haven't done it yet. Simmer for a couple days! I'll call you Tuesday?
Me: That sounds like a really long wait... (I know I'm not supposed to say this... even though I feel this. Fuck it.)
Her: Try... Please. (That's right. She's really this patient / forgiving / understanding.)
(At this point I have two choices: the easy and right answer of, "Okay" at which point the universe realigns in my favor or B, a really risky joke. Guess which option I picked...)
Me:Did you know that there's only one [Insert name of HB9.5 here] listed on Google? One. It sounds like a common name combination, but isn't. I don't mean to be funny (Actually, I do mean to be funny, but I also mean to miss the insane gift she just put at my feet). I need to find the stud version of me that doesn't fall under spells.
Her: Lol
Me:Tuesday... it seems so far away. Ok. (Yes, another big fail at the end there)

That evening, I'm thinking about the last fail at the end there and decide to buy a digital camera and post new pics that other girls will see on the place where I met HB9.5. Later, I choose not to message the ones getting back to me.

Damn man, you need to cool down. I wasn't attacking you as a person. But seriously, you have inner game issues and you're insecure. If you don't believe that than you really do need help.

Anyway, this woman does like you, and that's blatantly obvious. But you texting her all those long needy messages is just killing your chances. Give the woman a break until Tuesday and then you can talk to her then and get her back out again. Really man, you have this woman, you just need to chill out and relax

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Day By Day, Night After Night

What is this, an internet AMOG battle? Yay. Battle of the cyber pimps. You'll get no disagreement from me about inner game issues. You win, genius.

I didn't know we were in an AMOG battle. I was seriously just trying to help you out dude. Keep us updated. Like I said, you have this girl if you still want her!

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Day By Day, Night After Night

Who said I have inner game issues first, me or you? I think that was the first sentence of my first post in this thread. So how is saying I have inner game issues helping me, if I already know that? I'm looking for real analysis not bullshit parroting sessions. Say something new. Or at least say something I myself haven't said. I'll keep you updated though cause you are contributing in your own fucked up way.

What do you plan on saying to her on Tuesday to get her to come out with you?

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Day By Day, Night After Night