Hi guys,

Like lots of people, I've read a lot, done a little.

Saw a girl in the gym today who I've seen around university a few times and said hi to once or twice.

Anyway, went over and asked her if she'd like to get a coffee or something next week. She paused as she thought of a way to say "no".. I got a really awkward "maybe" but I then gave her the option to say "no" cos I'd rather her be honest, and she said "no".

I was visibly nervous and embarrassed - so obviously it wasn't a great approach.

Now I KNOW that I should be proud that I did it and not care about the outcome and stuff (she wasn't even that hot) - but I have to say that I felt like shit afterwards.

So I'm just fishing for you guys to make me feel better by shouting encouraging slogans at me!

Thanks!

At least you're approaching, that's a good start.

A gym pickup can be a tough place to do it. The social pressure is much higher and she may not be in the mood to socialize.

I sincerely hope you did not just walk up and ask her to get a coffee immediately. That's pretty creepy if that's the case. You say you've read a lot. What exactly have you read where it says that asking a girl you have never really interacted with to coffee is a good idea? I'm not saying it's impossible to use that, but you'd have to be damn good to do it.

When I approach the girl in the gym, I usually open with an opinion opener on what kind of workout my mom should do. A cocky, funny story about my mom wanting to work out and me not knowing anything about womens fitness. And then just start building comfort and kino. Then I break it early and do my workout. If I see her any more, I'll be polite, but more focused on my workout than her.

I don't number close on 1st encounters in the gym, but mostly because I don't carry my phone on me in there. I'll bring it in next time and get it then.

Good luck, nice try on the approach, but remember to build comfort before trying to close ANYTHING.

Glade

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My mPUA pickup journal: mpua-glades-log-of-pick-up-and-life-vt99032.html

Problem with your mindset pal... You should not need us to yell encouraging slogans. All what you need comes from within. You next time don't want to be blown out that bad you better stop seeking validation and encouragement from others. Good luck!

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What I like in life is nothing more but living it.

Hey thanks for the reply.

No it wasn't as bad as it might have sounded. Like I said, I've seen her around a few times and we've said hi and smiled at each other.

So initially I went over and just said hi and that we've never actually spoken and introduced myself, then there was a little chit chat about university stuff. She said she was working in an office where no one ever spoke.

Then I left her to it.

About 10 mins later I thought "shit, that was an opportunity to ask her to get a coffee on our lunch - just a friendly thing".

So I went over again, but because I was nervous I think it was a little obvious I wasn't just being friendly.

Oh okay man. I was seriously worried for a second lol. Maybe coffee was a little strong for the setting. Would have been a good time for a facebook close, but it would be weird now that she already rejected you. No worries man, good luck next time!

Glade

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My mPUA pickup journal: mpua-glades-log-of-pick-up-and-life-vt99032.html

Thanks guys. Yeah she wasn't that great anyway, it was just practise.

But I agree it's a mindset issue, I let it bum me out. I'm not sure how to develop a thicker skin. I guess I just have to do it more often.