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Women don't like guys because they are assholes who show them no respect. They are attracted to confidence over all else, and those dickheads generally got confidence in spades. Usually, from what I've seen, the guys who say girls only date assholes are the ones who aren't succeeding with women at all. So that's their rationalization.
I definitely agree with this. But the more I study female psychology, the more I perceive that mos women have a part of them that likes to feel like the victim. They like to complain, they like to have drama, they like to compare with their girlfriends on who has the worst situation so that they can have the group's sympathy.
Like when you break up with a girlfriend. Even if you're both being mature about the whole situation, she usually (at least in my experience) rationalizes that it was "only your fault", when in actuality it was hers, or was at least shared. Even if it's no one's fault and you are splitting because you just don't click, they often will rationalize reasons for why being who you are made sure the relationship didn't click. It's not just shying away from responsibility. Even the most mature girls often d this. It's so that they feel, in part, like a victim, like that princess in the white tower that needs to be rescued.
I think with the new feminism movements, we are moving away from that slowly, but not too much.
So definitely, the stronger of these two is confidence. But don't discount that women like assholes because they want a little drama. (I'm not talking abuse, like beating or anything, just a little disrespect or something, so they can "fix" the guy.)