So I started chatting up a girl on Facebook/ friend of a friend and got her number, we arranged to meet and she would txt nonstop/ appeared extremely interested before we met. Anyways the date went OK, overall I would give it a 6/10. Nothing awkward about it, conversation was good, I had her laughing a great deal. I know I wasn't at the peak of my game and it was the first real "date" I've been on since breaking up with my long term g/f a couple months ago. Before that I was a major afc/beta or whatever you guys call it, so It this was very well my first real attempt at stepping up to the plate. I could very well have appeared way more uncomfortable than I thought but who knows.

I know I lacked in the physical escalation department but I have so little experience that I choked big time here. I also felt like I was swinging out of my league because she was a solid 8 and hotter than I had anticipated and I've only dated/slept with 6-7s. I managed to give her a hug at the end of the date but that was about it. Anyways the next morning I sent a txt saying I had a good time and teased her a little, she responded right away and still does whenever I txt her. The interest and enthusiasm she was showing just doesn't seem to be there anymore though, and she will not initiate contact anymore.

The scenario that I keep playing in my head is when we were sitting on her couch with a small space between us which to me may as well have been a million miles... I just couldn't close this distance and touch her for the life of me. I think this may have been the kiss of death. In my mind she had positioned herself too far purposely if that makes any sense?

Anyways guys I'm really depressed, I did my research beforehand thought I was ready and now I struck out with a solid girl. Maybe I was just uglier than in my pics, or too short for her? I sent a txt and she said she can chat later...5 hours later nothing... i'll cut contact maybe for a while and ask to meet again next week? Worth a shot or just delete her number?

Dude,WTF are you doing!!

Forget about the BS date which only made her lose interest in you.

That was bad enough.

My beef is that you're now killing yourself over this chicc that you dont even know!!!

She damn sure isnt stressing over you dude!!

And you're talking about this girl was out of your league!!!

No fuccing girl is out of your league!!

That should be your frame!!

Why would this girl or any other girl for that matter want to date you?

This girl is running from you and letting you down easy aka "soft landing".

She wants nothing to do with you.

You claimed the date went well or that you had her laughing...

She was laughing out of politeness;not interest.

She didnt want to offend you.

She sensed,from the date,that you were weak,beta and pedestalling her.

You did admit that you though she was out of your league.

Well,that wussy-mind set was subcommunicated on the date.

No way in the world you should try salvge this.

You need to work on your inner game.

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That's cruel , but kind of yes.Even I do better on HB8.I am like this : Let's see if I am out of her league or not

@Gabi4Play-It should always be that mind set;"Can she live up to my expectation".

_________________
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"The scenario that I keep playing in my head is when we were sitting on her couch with a small space between us which to me may as well have been a million miles... I just couldn't close this distance and touch her for the life of me. I think this may have been the kiss of death. In my mind she had positioned herself too far purposely if that makes any sense? "

This happened to me too two years ago, or three now! This girl invited me to her place and got a romantic movie for us. We were sitting on the couch, but I could not bring myself to put my around her or make a move. I was inexperienced with the physical stuff, but I could've done it, but I just kept thinking that maybe this is not a date and maybe I am not supposed to be trying to touch her. She very obviously wanted to sleep with me and got frustrated and upset that I did not make a move on her. She then got up and left and acted bitchy and I never saw her again. But looking back, I am glad I did not make a move on her. Because the dates after that girl, my comfort zone kept expanding, I got more comfortable giving girls hugs and kissing them on the cheek, putting my hand around them when we watch a movie, making out, etc. But yeah sitting on that couch with that girl who was attractive and thinking "should i make a move on her? should i not? she is kind of hot, but on the other hand i dont know her and she might be a psycho, or should i just wait and take it a my own pace cuz if she wants it now, she will still want it later when i am ready?" it's like that with girls, if they want it and you dont make a move on them, they get pissed and you don't get another chance. but i you make a move on them because you have to (even if she hot), but you really feel awkward and tense and nervous and you are not enjoying it, then why the fuck do it? women need to learn the word NO too and honestly in your original post you describe nothing but success to me, you got a number and a date and sat on a couch with a girl who probably wanted you to make a move on her on that couch and hook up.. so what if you did not? you are learning and you need to go on maybe ten or twenty more dates like this before you feel relaxed and able to enjoy the physical stuff with a girl on a first date.. it takes time and practice. but you are doing really well. it's a good date. good experience. let the girl worry about herself. think of it as a practice date.

Ok. I'll consider her forgotten and nothing but practice or a reminder of where I began. I'm starting to build a new frame of mind for myself but it just takes time and when the stress is on I sometimes revert back to the negative thoughts which were the default for 21 years of life. She txted me last night but I'm not going to respond to her again because like you said it's just out of sympathy.

@TryHard-Dont kill yourelf(figureably).

Feel free to reply to her texts.

She isnt an enemy you should try avoid.

You're giving her too much power yet again.

Reply to her,but this time with a new frame & mindset.

You can actually win this girl by depending on how you calibrate your relpies.

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Yea It's an uphill battle and she did lose some major interest for sure but there is a slight chance at redemption in my opinion. She has hinted at seeing her again but I can tell that her attraction has diminished. I think I'll text her when I get back from partying at my buddies camp all weekend. I will have my head in the right frame. I'm not going to attach any meaning to the outcome, and I won't get discouraged if she flakes. I'd just like another shot at practicing where I went wrong more than anything else.

Exactly.

You now have the alpha mindset.

Most guys give up too fast.

Yes you flubbed up but it isnt over yet as long as she's texing you.

Just dont initiate any texting.

Act a bit disinterested in here and her texts via not responding promptly.

It's a balancing act though.

Dont overdue the hard-to-get vibe or that may turn her off too much.

Show her that you're a very busy.

Lie if you have to.

If you're home in your boxers watching TV-dont tell her that.

Tell her you're out doing something fun.

You're now gonna make her chase you.

_________________
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Now active on YT again with PUA, Red Pill, Manosphere content:
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So I just hit her with a real laugh of a txt that I came up with..."I'm surprised you're not begging me to put a ring on your finger yet"

She asked what I was up to this weekend blah blah where I was going camping. (seemed to be interested in asking me questions again)

Said I was already behind schedule and had to get ready (slight exaggeration) but we should go swimming next week (something she previously mentioned) she said "thats good thinking!"

All in all a slight recovery I think. we'l find out for sure next week when I get back.

Good job with the texting.

But stop asking her out.

"We should go swimming" is putting too much power in her hand once again.

You should've told her you're going swimming and she's free to tag along.

Grand difference between the 2 forms.

My suggetion about swimming gives her no power.

She cannot reject you since you're not asking her out.

So in the future,try framing things differently from," let's go to...,to "Im going to...,feel free to join in".

_________________
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Note taken.

So anyways heres an update. I get back from camp on the weekend and shes txted me asking how my weekend was. We txt back and forth and the next day she says shes going on a quick road trip to tour the town she's going to school at this year and then coming back that night. I've already been going to school there so shes asks if I can give her a tour.

I say "sure blah blah I wouldn't want you to get lost"

Not long after she says she's decided shes may just go herself but she'll text me before she leaves to let me know. She said it was because she doesn't know when she's leaving and she want's to do some shopping and doesn't think I'd like it... I told her I had to pick up a few things myself and I could use her opinion. Then she said she'll text later to let me know. wtf

I just said you're too indecisive for me today so count me out...

Has anyone else had a girl make plans invite you and then flake LOL?

Seems like I should just write this girl off.